Me or the thought of me

I am almost embarrassed to say that I have seen the movie Failure to Launch - twice. Once on a plane to Nepal and once, at my suggestion, Andrea and I rented it and watched it at home. It wasn't a horrible movie but it was not great either; just a diversion.

There is a part of the movie where the main character, Tripp who is a boat salesman, is talking to his "nephew" as they sit next to a boat. The kid says something to the effect of "I love this boat." To which Tripp replies "You don't love this boat. You are just in love with the idea of a boat."

Profound dialog I think. I go through life loving the idea of many things but never really in love with the things themselves. Just like people love the idea of a boat but would never spend the time, work or money required to actually enjoy the thing, I love the idea of stuff but I am never going to spend the time, money or effort to actually experience those same things at the highest levels.

I would love to lift weights and have big muscles and be stronger. But truthfully I don't love to lift weights because it is not convenient.

I would love to save money. But I am only in love with the idea of making good investments for my future because really I love to spend money NOW.

I would love to practice the faith I say I believe. But when it comes down to it I love laziness rather than discipline and actually acting on the things I say I believe doesn't fit my self-centeredness. My faith is sometimes only a good idea rather than a reality.

I was running last week and listening to John Mayer. On his new CD Continuum he has this song called "I Don't Trust Myself" where he asks this girl "Who do you love - me or the thought of me?"

I am in love with the thought of being in love, but sometimes love takes a lot of work. To lay down my life for another person and to look after her interests rather than my own is beyond what I am sometimes willing to do. Will I go beyond the mere idea of being in love and do the hard work love requires?

I hope so. She is worth it.

Too personal to post ...

I have a blog post in my head (actually I have typed it out a couple of times) but it is way too personal to actually publish. I can’t get past it to write anything else so I have posted nothing. I’ll try later.

Love is a disease ...

Love is a disease no one wants to get rid of. Those who catch it never try to get better, and those who suffer do not wish to be cured.

- Anonymous Persian Sage

There is much that could be said about that statement but anything I would try to add would seem shallow and I think it is best to let it sit there and do its work.

In Between

I do not like being between places but that is where I find myself, in the "in between".

Who will listen to me here when next week I will be somewhere else? While I am in the "in between" no one there will listen to me either even though they say they are glad I am coming.

Why do I even feel like I need to be heard? Because there are things that are happening in both places I care about. Since I am "in between" I should just be quiet. I’m sure if I made noise no one would listen.

Even though I like change (to the point where I have been called schizo) it is strange to be in between.

Belief

There are things that I believe that fuel much of what I do. There are things I say I believe that I must not believe so much or I would live a life where my actions showed those beliefs to be true.

The things I believe most deeply come out in the way I live. I can talk all I want but belief is seen in action.

I’ve heard well meaning people say “You’ve got to stand up for what you believe in” - which on the surface sounds like great advice. But what if your beliefs are really wack? Say you believe that if you fly an airplane into a tall building full of thousands of people in the name of your religion that you will be reward by god in eternity. Is that the kind of belief it is okay to stand up for?

I have no answers, only questions brought on by John Mayer’s new CD Continuum.

Everyone believes
In how they think it ought to be
Everyone believes
And they’re not going easily

Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword
Like punching in the water
You can never hit what you’re trying for

Belief - John Mayer

Change is good

My life is changing a bit. Here is what I wrote to Brazos Pointe Fellowship:

I love Brazos Pointe Fellowship. I remember the first Sunday the Stunz family attended. It was the second Sunday of Brazos Pointe Fellowship's official existence and everyone in our family loved it. We had just moved back to Brazosport from Spring, Texas and Andrea and I felt like we should visit other churches to make sure we knew where God wanted us. The kids wouldn't hear of it. They felt like they had already heard from God and he was saying we needed to be at Brazos Pointe Fellowship.

I never dreamed that God would take us from the point of being members and volunteers at Brazos Pointe Fellowship to being on staff and working here. But that is exactly what God chose to do.

I used to think that God was logical and rational but through the path of my life I've found that sometimes God can't completely be explained. God is at times mysterious and cannot be figured out. Just like God made a major turn in my life in the summer of 2003, Andrea and I feel he is making a change of direction in our life yet again.

The change I am talking about is not going to lead us away from Brazos Pointe Fellowship. This is our church and this is where we desire to be. At the beginning of October though, I am going back to work in a secular job similar to many of you. As I just said, God is mysterious and I do not completely understand why He is leading me in this direction but I am convinced that it is definitely His direction.

I will continue to share preaching responsibilities with Greg. I will teach Discovering Your Design with Mary Margaret. I will continue to lead a small group and I will still run sound (because I dig music). The only difference is that I will not be on Brazos Pointe Fellowship's Leadership Team and will no longer be paid by the church. I will be a passionate volunteer. I believe in what goes on here. I believe in the vision of Brazos Pointe Fellowship and will remain a part of it. For many of you things won't look that different.

Come this weekend and hear the rest of the story as Greg and I preach together “Under the Influence – Part 2”

- Tommy

In my blog resurrection post I said that I would not write as "Tommy, the guy who gets paid to work at church." Now that will be true because at the end of the month I will no longer get paid to work at the church.

I feel good about where I am headed.

I read therefore I post quotes - Part II

A friend sent me a link to this article saying: “It meant something to me and I thought you might like it.”

He was right. This hit me at the right time and in the right place. Here are some quotes:

I learned to embrace the spiritual significance of my positions; I learned that no matter where I was, how lonely or obsolete the job, God was present, and sometimes more tangible than being in a church service. … I discovered that no matter where I was placed, my identity and duty were in Christ alone—without credit, without title.

Read all of “Without Credit, Without Title" here … link

Someday soon I will post something that is original to me. It will not be near as good as the quotes I have posted lately, I'm sure, but it will be mine.

I read therefore I post quotes

Dallas Willard is one of my favorite authors. His book The Divine Conspiracy had a profound impact on me. Below are a couple of quotes from an article in Christianity Today:

"Willard says that when he left the ministry to study philosophy in the early 1960s, God told him, "If you stay in the churches, the university will be closed to you; but if you stay in the university, the churches will be open to you.""

"There is knowledge of God and the spiritual nature of man, as well as other types of reality (e.g. moral obligations) that are not reducible to the world dealt with by the so-called 'natural sciences.' The idea that knowledge—and, of course, reality—is limited to that world is the single most destructive idea on the stage of life today."

"Generally, what I find is that the ordinary people who come to church are basically running their lives on their own, utilizing 'the arm of the flesh'—their natural abilities—to negotiate their way," he says. "They believe there is a God and they need to check in with him. But they don't have any sense that he is an active agent in their lives. As a result, they don't become disciples of Jesus. They consume his merits and the services of the church. … Discipleship is no essential part of Christianity today."

"God has yet to bless anyone except where they actually are, and if we faithlessly discard situation after situation, moment after moment, as not being 'right,' we will simply have no place to receive his kingdom into our life. For those situations and moments are our life."

Good stuff I think. You can read the rest here ... link

Which step

“ … what we need to learn is always there before us, we just have to look around us with respect and attention in order to discover where God is leading us and which step we should take next. I also learned a respect for mystery. As Einstein said, God does not play dice with the universe; everything is interconnected and has meaning. That meaning may remain hidden nearly all of the time, but we always know we are close to our true mission on earth when what we are doing is touched with the energy of enthusiasm.
If it is, then all is well. If not, then we had better change direction.”

Paulo Coelho The Zahir

The Call

“William Tyndale wrote that, if our desire is to please God, pouring water, washing dishes, cobbling shoes, and preaching the Word “is all one”.”

“The action of a shepherd in keeping sheep, performed as I have said in this kind, is as good a work before God as is the action of a judge in giving a sentence, or of a magistrate in ruling, or a minister in preaching.” (A Treatise of the Vocations or Callings of Men)

“We must resolutely refuse to play the word games that pretend calling means anything without a Caller. … If there is no Caller there are no callings – only work.”

“Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ,” Oswald Chambers wrote. “The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him … The one aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for him.”

All of the above quotes come from The Call by Os Guinness

I bought this book on September 3, 2002; the day my oldest daughter Tori got her scoliosis brace. I remember it as a heavy day. The Call had a huge impact on me then and just glancing through it today reminded me of that impact.

Jury Duty

I was called for jury duty yesterday. In the court room I sat with 59 new friends as available jurors for a criminal case to be tried starting the same day. When the prosecuting attorney asked where I was a pastor, what denomination our church belonged, and if I was an associate or senior pastor, his assistant and the defense attorney both scribbled quickly on their yellow pads of paper (lawyers really do use “legal pads”). I assumed that my fate was set and I would be kicked out of the process due to my “pastor” status. Knowing some of the pastors I know I can’t say that blame them.

As the attorneys continued in the questioning of potential jurors I started to feel sorry for the poor guy who was charged with a crime. The people in the court room had some of the most asinine answers to the questions the lawyers were asking. Then after I felt sorry for the guy on trial I started to panic, thinking they would see a pastor as a good choice since none of the other perspective jurors seemed to have any common sense.

Finally 12 capable jurors were impaneled. I left the court room with 48 other relieved people. Hopefully they passed over me due to my occupation and the preconceived ideas they perceived I would or would not have rather than passing me over based on their judgment of my intelligence.

BTW – I know I restarted this blog saying I would not write from the perspective of the paid church worker person. Even in this post, I think I have been true to what I said. I am unwilling to argue that point though.

Blog Resurrection

It has been a year since I published anything here at Stunz Blog. I know that the last post I wrote said it was the end, but I am exercising my prerogative to change my mind. I have written some in the last year but nothing like what I wrote here. So I’m back.

What I write at Stunz Blog will be written as Tommy, the individual, the follower of Jesus, the husband and the dad; rather than Tommy the guy who gets paid to work at church. I may write about church and teaching but I won’t wear the label. The writing may still read the same to most but it will definitely come from a different place inside of me.

By the way, I have a running blog and if you are in to that kind of thing you can check it out here … link.

Come back occasionally and see if you like what you read.

The End

I’ve enjoyed writing at Stunzblog for the last year and a couple of months. It is always good to end things while they’re good instead of waiting until they are completely stale. With that in mind, I am done writing on this blog. Thank you for reading, I really do appreciate it and I am grateful for what I have experienced here.

- Tommy

A bug in a shoe and hurricane victims

Yesterday morning I was sitting in the den eating breakfast and watching the news. It is heartbreaking to watch a city being slowly submerged into destruction. All of a sudden from upstairs I hear a scream. It’s Anna screaming and there is terror in her voice. This is not a “I’m playing” kind of scream. This is a serious “finger in a light socket” kind of scream. I was sure she was seriously injured.

I set down my yogurt and sprinted up the stairs. When I made it to Anna’s bedroom Andrea was already there and Anna was sitting on the floor, her shoe flung across the hall and she was yelling “A BUG!” I looked at the shoe and out of it crawled a slender bug. I walked over and stepped on it and it sounded as if I were stepping on leaves in the front yard in the fall. Anna would have told me it was from the bug’s crunchy exoskeleton if she weren’t so scared. We’ve had these discussions in the past and I wonder, "why does my first grader already know about exoskeletons"?

My heart stopped pounding and I said, “Anna, it’s just a bug.” I had no sympathy. But Andrea walked up to Anna, put her arms around her and with way more compassion than I had she said, “When I was a little girl like you I had the exact same thing happen to me. I put my shoe on and there was a bug in it and I screamed just like you did. And today I still tap my shoes and look inside to make sure there are no bugs in them before I put them on. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Andrea had a kind of sympathy I didn’t understand because she had been where Anna was and I had not.

That’s how I feel about the victims Hurricane Katrina. I know that everyone sympathizes with them on some level but I feel that those of us on the Gulf Coast have a special kind of pain as we watch this tragedy continue to unfold. Beyond that, I think that those who have lost home, possessions, and worst of all the lives of those they love in a hurricane especially understand the pain of those in Louisiana and Mississippi; more than I ever could.

I feel helpless. I know that there are some who made a horrible mistake by staying. There are some who had no choice but to stay. There are some who ran. All of them have needs. Physical needs, emotional needs, relational needs; but more than anything they need love, mercy, grace and hope. When everything looks so dire and the future is in question the victims of the storm need hope … hope that everything can one day be okay again.

Those of you who live in Southern Brazoria County can check our church’s web sight. Very soon we will post some tangible ways to help those who are taking refuge here…. <link>

We plan to organize trips to the areas affected by the hurricane when we can be of help and not be in the way. Check back to brazospointe.com to see how you can be involved.

A logical mystic

I live my life by logic and logic alone sometimes and it gets me in trouble. Logic is not a bad thing but having a sense of logic and an absence of wonder is unhealthy.

Yesterday morning I ran 5 miles. As I turned on to Circle Way I looked at the line of deep purple just above the trees where the sun would come up in about a half an hour. The deep purple gave way to a lighter purple that faded into a dark pink that turned to white next to a deep blue that stretched to the opposite horizon. The deep blue was a canvas painted with a radiant crescent moon. Below the moon were no less that ten bats that flew in a herky jerky fashion that made me wonder how they could fly at all.

After a couple of days of totally logical life my morning run tuned me to the voice of God in the sky and the fact that I had ignored that voice long enough to be in danger of trying to live life on my own.

I need wonder. I need awe. I need the mystical. If you are a follower of Christ you do too.

You cannot be a Christian without being a mystic.
I was talking to a homeless man at a laundry mat recently, and he said that when we reduce Christian spirituality to math we defile the Holy. I thought it was very beautiful and comforting because I have never been good at math. Many of our attempts to understand Christian faith have only cheapened it. I can no more understand the totality of God than the pancake I made for breakfast understands the complexity of me. The little we do understand, that grain of sand our minds are capable of grasping, those ideas such as God is good, God feels, God loves, God knows all, are enough to keep our hearts dwelling on His majesty and otherness forever.

- Don Miller Blue Like Jazz

They all realized they were in a place of holy mystery, that God was at work among them. They were quietly worshipful—and then noisily grateful, calling out among themselves, "God is back, looking to the needs of his people!"
Luke 7:16

Hotel Rwanda

I watched Hotel Rwanda yesterday. I’ve wanted to see this film since Aaron referred to it in a message at our church in February. It is a movie about the conflict in Rwanda in 1994 where the Hutu guerrillas killed over a million Tutsis in less than three months while the rest of the world just watched. They did it based on their hatred of a group of people who were outwardly just like them and yet they were labeled as something different (Hutu or Tutsi). That may be an oversimplification but it seems to me that too many people were killed needlessly.

In the movie Don Cheadle plays Paul Rusesabagina, a Hutu who manages a hotel owned by Europeans. After the foreign nationals leave the hotel fearing their own safety, Rusesabagina uses it to save the lives of over 1200 Tutsis. I was moved by how a man of humility could use his influence to affect change in the people around him.

The part of the movie that stung more than any other is when a news man collects some video of the massacre that is sent abroad to be aired on the evening news. Rusesabagina says something to the effect, “When the world sees the video they will not be able to stay away. They will come and help.”
To which the cameraman replies, “No, they will see the video and say, ’How horrible’ and then they will go back to eating their dinner.”

I started reading Blue Like Jazz yesterday. As I thought about how horrible it is that something like the genocide in Rwanda happened in my adult lifetime, I read an interesting section of Miller’s book. He is talking to his friend Tony about all the people killed in Africa and Tony asked, “Do you think you could do something like that…?” Through a process of thought and conversation Miller comes to the conclusion that we are all capable of some horrible things because inside all of us exists a sin nature.

The potential for evil is inside all of us. We inherited it from Adam. At the risk of oversimplification again; the answer to the darkness in every part of the world is the redemption brought about by Jesus which has the power to change the heart. Even then we all have to act when we can.

Hotel Rwanda gave me a burden I’m not sure what to do with.

I think Jesus feels strongly about communicating the idea of our brokenness, and I think it’s worth reflection. Nothing is going to change in the Congo until you and I figure out what is wrong with the person in the mirror.

- Don Miller Blue Like Jazz

Eternal weight

I’ve been thinking about death lately. Not in a morbid way. I’m not thinking about the moment of death. I don’t plan to die anytime soon, but I wonder if I’m ready for it. I wonder if I’m ready for what is on the other side.

I look forward to stepping out of time and existing in eternity. I look forward to living without my sin nature. I look forward to living in the presence of the One who made me. But am I ready for what is there? Am I living in such a way to get me ready for what happens in forever? And can I?

Where can a dead man go?
A question with an answer only dead men know
But I’m gonna bet they never really feel at home
If they spent their lifetime learning how to live in Rome

- Nickel Creek

We do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary light affliction is producing in us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.

- Paul the Apostle

This is a test

Blogger now has an add-in where you can post directly from a Word document. That’s cool because I normally write everything I post in Word first. I’m a terrible speller and my grammar is sometimes helped by Word … and sometimes grammar check just tics me off. I think it will be cool if this works out.

Here’s the link to the add-in … link

Robbie Seay Band

Last night Phillip, Jenny, Josh, Ashley and I went to a CD release party for the Robbie Seay Band at the Taft Street Coffee House where Ecclesia meets. RSB leads worship for Ecclesia Houston. They signed with a label and now are basically releasing music that was on their independent releases.

Most of the music the Robbie Seay Band does, they wrote out of their journey with Ecclesia. The music and words are fresh and multilayered. RSB connects to the spiritual while maintaining an edge and a uniqueness that other bands seem to miss when they label themselves “Christian”. Phillip and Jenny commented that they seemed to be effortless in their playing. It was a good experience. Pick up the CD Better Days if you get a chance – you won’t be disappointed.

The Robbie Seay Band's music has been an important part of my journey over the past year.

It's good to be alive

And breathing air again

Leadership Summit 2005 Follow-up

I will sit down this week and decompress from the Leadership Summit. I know there are some things I need to implement but I really need to sit down, gather and work through my thoughts to where there is no more than a couple of things I will do.

Some thoughts at random:
My holy discontent is wasted potential. (See Ronnie’s here ---> link)

As a follower of Christ I am not always sure of where I am going, but I must be sure I am following Jesus. – Paraphrase of a Bonhoeffer quote

I need to work to add value to people.

Dr. Jack Groppel speaks my language.
It’s not about time management; it’s about energy management. The largest energy gains happen in the area of the physical and the spiritual. Rest and recovery is huge.

In my hands any spiritual act will be at best mediocre, in God’s hands anything I do He takes beyond my wildest expectations.

Keep the vision clear. Get the people engaged. Make the gathering memorable. Pace for the long haul.

I want to run an ultra someday.

Nickel Creek - Why Should the Fire Die?

I’m not a fan of music with the "country" label. Have I ever said here that before? I don’t care for simplistic, crying in my beer, my wife/husband left me, prideful music. Enough said right?

I bought a new CD today and I had to stand in front of the “country” section to pick it up. A group I thoroughly enjoy, Nickel Creek has a CD called Why Should the Fire Die? These guys and girl are incredible musicians and they write thoughtful music. Their first CD (the first one I bought) had a pretty strong bluegrass sound. Each CD since then has moved a bit from bluegrass toward a much more eclectic sound which I like but assume will really make their bluegrass fans mad. It’s some jamming stuff and I’m digging it.

Spam

I’m starting to get comment spam. From cheesecake recipes to college degrees in two weeks, you can find it here on my blog.

Email spam, cell phone text message spam, fax spam, comment spam - someone’s got to be buying this stuff or spammers wouldn’t waste their time. Or maybe they have no life and would waste their time. I don't know which, but really ... a PhD in two weeks through the mail? You gotta be kidding me! Stop buying spam stuff … Go to Wal Mart instead, which is sometimes almost as annoying.

Leadership Summit 2005

This week I will attend my second leadership conference this year. The leadership team and some ministry leaders from Brazos Pointe Fellowship are attending Willow Creek’s Leadership Summit. The summit is beamed live via satellite all over the country and we’ll see it at First Pres. in Houston.

I went to the 2004 Leadership Summit by myself and it was a growing experience for me. I was very impressed by Steve Sample, president of USC and after seeing his interview with Bill Hybels I bought his book The Contrarian's Guide To Leadership and highly recommend it. Others at the conference influenced me as well. Different speakers addressed different aspects of leadership and what it means to be a Christ follower each touched a different part of who I am and challenged me.

Earlier this year I attended Origins, a leadership experience hosted and lead by Mosaic in LA. That conference changed me in some very personal ways. So personal in some cases that I would not even begin to write about them now - someday maybe, but not now. Erwin and Alex McManus challenged those present to be mystic warriors to live a life that is not safe but one where I risk everything to follow a primal call from the Creator of the universe. It was an experience that cannot be adequately explained. It truly was an “experience”.

Two different “conferences” with two very different men leading - both used by God to change me and make me more of what He created me to be.

I am looking forward to Thursday, Friday and Saturday of this week. If I have a chance I will post some of what I learn there. We are taking 13 other leaders from BPF and two pastors from church plants we support as well. Pray for us when you think about it.

Not old yet ... but getting there

As Jakeb and I spent a couple of days away camping I noticed how he seemed to have this endless energy and I didn’t. He always wanted to climb and jump off of the tree one more time. He wanted to swim a bit longer. He wanted to stay at Landa Park just one more hour and jump off of the rope swing just one more time. I didn’t slow him down too much but when the day was done I was just tired. Physically tired.

I have always been the one envied by others for my endless supply of energy and now I envy my son for the same.

My plan in life was to never get old. I am not that old now, but I always want to be in good enough shape to keep up with my kids. I’m only thirty-eight but Jakeb ran me into the ground over the first three days of this week. I must have been coming down with something – I can’t be getting old … not yet life is just starting.

Rich Mullins wrote:

God lets us struggle and prosper – we don’t all struggle and prosper the same, but we all do both to some degree. And when we have done enough to think more highly of ourselves than we should, God lets us age. And as we age, we begin to forget stuff; our joints stiffen; our heads go a little soft. We drive slower and are less driven, are more embarrassed and are less likely to die of that embarrassment and more likely to die of natural causes. Getting old is part of getting past whatever illusions we have about ourselves. It is part of getting free – free from reasonable doubts, irrational conceits, false securities, displaced affections …

And so, let me grow. Let me grow old. Let me grow free. Even if I have to repeat myself to do it.

Camping and stuff

During the summer break Andrea and I take our kids for some one-on-one time with mom or dad. The girls spent time with mom and the guy (Jakeb) spends time with me. There are really two goals for this time. One is to build a stronger relationship with our kids by having fun. The other is to talk about relationships (guy/girl relationships). For those of you at Brazos Pointe, this is where we teach our kids about muffins among other things like dating, marriage, how simple guys are and how complex girls are etc. For the years when they are 11, 12, and 13 we use a resource called Passport to Purity.

Jakeb and I went camping at Guadalupe River State Park for the last three days. What we talked about is confidential but the fun we had is not. We spent most of our time in the water. We found a tree that had a huge muscadine grape vine wrapped around it about 15 feet over the water. The water was deep and we climbed and jumped from that tree at least fifty times over the course of a couple of days. We floated on the river sans tubes and played in the rapids. We grabbed rocks under the rapids and let the water rush over our heads. On the last day after we finished camping we ate lunch in Gruene at the Grist Mill and then spent the rest of the afternoon swimming in the spring fed pool at Landa Park. It was a good three days and I feel like I know my son better.

Yesterday on the drive home Jakeb and I were listening to NPR and this lady was lamenting the fact that she felt inadequate to tell her sons about girls. She said that guys have four emotions – happy, sad, mad, and hungry. Girls have an emotional complexity that no man could understand. She implied that girls are weird. Jakeb got a kick out of that. If he only knew…

Take A Chill Pill

Tommy’s wife here. I’ve hijacked his blog again. It’s just easier than maintaining my own.

Some of us hate to wait. We live such rushed days and can’t seem to fit it all in. Well what if waiting could actually help save someone’s life?

At Wal-Mart yesterday, I went to buy some medicine for one of my kid’s stuffy nose so I picked up a little plastic card and took it to the pharmacy counter where I had to give my name, address, phone, etc. Once that was in the system they gladly gave me the box of medicine and I was on my way to the check out counter. It took a total of about 3 minutes out of my day. From now on, I can go the pharmacy and give them my phone number, they will pull up my info and give me the medicine and maybe I’ll only be out about 1 minute or less.

I asked the pharmacy staff if they’d had a lot of complaints. She sighed and said, “Oh, you wouldn’t believe!” I expressed to her that I, for one, am glad that they are doing this. After seeing what the abuse of this product does to mother’s, husbands, wives, mommies, daddies, sisters, brothers, etc. I’m more than happy to wait! The pharmacist smiled and said thanks for understanding and that being patient was not the norm.

The medicine that I was purchasing – pseudoephedrine hydrochloride. It’s a very common non-prescription medicine to relieve nasal congestion. Because it’s so common, drug dealers have been buying large quantities and making a new product called crystal meth.
Recently some pharmacies, maybe made by the government I’m not real sure, have put some restrictions on the purchase of pseudoephedrine.

The drug dealers have been buying the non-prescription meds in large quantities and then they take it to their man-made labs and make this horrible, addictive drug out of it and sell it. Some of these dealers have labs in their homes and have harmed their own children or put them in serious jeopardy due to explosions from the lab process – not to mention that most sellers are probably users as well. You’ve seen it on the news, I’m sure, but what this drug does to people in only a matter of a few years is just so very sad. They get sores all over their body that they’ve done to themselves by feeling like they have bugs under their skin and trying to scratch them off. An addict begins to lose brain cells very quickly that are not replaced. They lose the ability to make logical decisions. So the longer they use, the more at risk they will be to never be able to live a normal life even if they quit using. The effects of this drug take begin to be realized in only a few months.
Click here ----> Link to get more information.

So, the chill pill prescribed to us is one of patience. We don’t always need to see waiting for something as a bad thing. We should slow down and take a chill pill and be willing to wait a few minutes for our medicine. We could be saving someone’s life! It’s crystal clear, don’t you think?

One year of blogging and reevaluation

I started posting to this web log one year ago. There have been a lot of words and there has been much that has happened around me.

Sometimes this feels like a narcissistic pursuit. Who in the world would want to read anything I write, especially when it’s about me or what I think.

Sometimes it feels kind of sanctimonious. I write how I feel about God and living a God-life but often it may come off as a “holier-than-thou” pursuit.

I have enjoyed the conversation and the comments … even the ones that were critical. I may not have changed my view but my faith and belief have deepened and come into sharper focus because of the critical thought.

The only thing that really bothers me is when people want to trash me but will only do it behind the cloak of anonymity. That comes off as cowardice in my view. Don’t get me wrong though, anonymous posts aren’t all bad, just ones that hide a person’s identity in order for them to have a license for meanness.

I could go back to privacy where I writing everything in my journal. But I cannot stop writing. Even though my writing is not that impressive.

BTW – I still write in a journal in addition to this blog. There are things floating around in my head that are too personal for anyone else to see.

Sometimes I feel as if I am too open with the world. Andrea even said to me one time “It’s sad that I have to learn what is going on inside of my husband by reading his blog”. I promised her I would be more open with her. But I’m not so sure I should be so open with you.

I guess my goal is to challenge the way we all think … me included.

So it’s time to reevaluate. There have been a couple of really good blogs I read lately where the authors have done exactly that – reevaluate. Some have stopped writing, some have made a stronger commitment to write more.

I guess my question is should I keep doing this? What is the benefit for me and for you as a reader? Anything?

Honest conversation is welcome …

Ordination

I was ordained yesterday afternoon. I have hesitated to write about it because I don’t have words that are adequate for how I feel. As with everything we do at BPF this was not the typical ordination but for me it was what it needed to be. I felt encouraged and loved. I saw people I haven’t seen in a long time. So many people who were present have had a hand in forming who I have become by being an example to me. So many have challenged me to do what I would never have done on my own. God has used the influence of godly people to make me who I am today. If you were there or had anything to do with my ordination; thank you. It’s one of those days I won’t forget.

Running on purpose

Most of my runs since mid-January have been aimless with no goal other than to get out and move so I can stay in some kind of reasonable physical shape. My running is not completely unproductive but it really has had no purpose. I have thought a lot. I have connected with God some. I have listened to loud music on occasion. But for the most part running has been about … well; running. Not a bad thing at all.

On Monday I started the build-up phase to marathon training. I am ramping up my mileage so that I can start the marathon-training program in September. Now my running has a purpose. I have a training plan that tells me how much to run today and at what pace. The days of running have a rhythm that they lacked before. Running is now a discipline that is practiced with a goal in mind. It is about doing so that I can be.

It is good to live on purpose … for a cause, rather than living an aimless existence where each day seems as if you’re going through the motions and can’t remember why.

Blood and life

My father in law is having surgery next week. Andrea I have the same blood type as Tom so on Monday our family went to Methodist Hospital so the two of us could give blood to be used in surgery if he needs it. This is the third time I’ve given blood. The first time was for my daughter Tori, the second time was for my sister-in-law Colleen, and this time is for Tom. My family is a bunch of vampires. My mother-in-law said it would be good for Tom to get some preacher blood in him. Each time we’ve been Andrea’s iron level has been too low for her to donate. The girl needs to eat some more beef.

Anyway I am amazed at the whole process. My blood can be taken from my body and be given to another person who needs it. Then my body replaces the blood that it has lost. I know I am not telling you anything new but I am blown away by the marvel of the human body and the life that is in our blood.

Tuesday morning I ran 3 miles and had to walk about half way through my run. I assume it was because I had just given blood. I took Wednesday morning off and ran again this morning. It was still rough. I don’t know if it’s just a lack of conditioning or if it is still because of the lack of blood.

Two things: First pray for Tom on Wednesday as he has surgery. And second, give blood if you can … it’s an easy thing to do to help someone that could really use it.

In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.
Hebrews 9:22

Stones and snow

At eighteen years old I took my first trip to the mountains. I was with our church group on a snow ski trip. I’d never skied; in fact I’d only seen snow twice in my life. Growing up on the coast of Texas doesn’t allow for a person to experience but a small amount of cold weather much less snow.

It reminds me of when I worked in Saint Croix for a couple months. The average high temperature every day year round is about 92 degrees Fahrenheit. The native islanders never experience anything less that 65 degrees and when you go to the grocery store the stockers put on Eskimo coats with the furry hood just to stock milk. It is an interesting and funny sight.

We went on our ski trip to Durango Colorado. I had skied for two days; the first day I was horrible at it and the second day after we ditched the instructor I started to get the hang of it. At the end of the second day after some time in the hot tub I cleaned up and decided to go for a walk.

I’ve always liked to be alone. I like my own company. I like to just think. So I started walking and ended up on a footbridge. It was a suspension bridge over a small clear stream. I sat down between a spot in the ropes where I could swing my feet and just look around.

It was just getting dark and there was a thin line of light over the mountains to the west. The eastern sky was starting to fill with stars. On the top of the mountains the snow almost glowed in the darkness. I could smell evergreens trees around me and the only sound I heard was the stream beneath my feet.

All at once I was over whelmed by the presence of God in creation. The sensory overload was like nothing I’d experienced in the flatness of southeast Texas. The enormity of God struck me as I stared up at the mountains above me and His love moved me as I started thinking about how good my life really was.

This was in March of 1985. It was the beginning of my realization of the fact that even though I had grown up going to church and even though I had seen my parents live their faith I never really had given myself completely to God. In July of that same year I did exactly that. I said, “God, I am giving everything I know myself to be to everything I know about you.” That part of my journey of faith started when really big pile of stones cried out and declared the glory of God.

Some Pharisees in the crowd said to him, 'Master, reprove your disciples,' but he answered, 'I tell you, if these keep silence, the stones will cry out.'
Luke 19:39-40

The end of a good vacation ...

Tomorrow marks the end of our stay home vacation. We watched movies (some at the theater, some at home), we swam at friends house, went to New Braunfels (check out what Jakeb had to say about that trip --> here), we went to the museum and spent some time shopping at a mall (Anna’s request).

We tried to stay on the move. We tried to do little at home but what it takes to survive – dishes, feed the dogs and ferret, do laundry. We tried to just exist as a family.

This week I found out that its fun to hang out together with my wife and kids. I knew that already but I have come to a deeper understanding of how true it actually is.

The last activity on our stay home vacation was a chemistry experiment. Tonight everyone but Anna and me have a different hair color. Tori went from dirty blond to really blond. Jakeb went from red to light red – almost blond. And with influence from Jenny and encouragement from me Andrea’s hair is now red. She says if it looks bad it’s not her fault; it’s mine and Jenny’s. I have to do a double take every time I look at Tori, Jakeb or Andrea.

Junior High Camp

Check out Jakeb's take on Junior high Camp here ---> link

Back home ...

We’re home from Junior High Camp.

It was fun, hard work, lots of walking, physically demanding, HOT, emotionally draining, spiritual, growing, ministering weekend. The food was good. Our junior counselors did a good job and I believe our kids grew closer to God. I had some great conversations with a few of them from our church and others.

This week is our family’s stay home vacation. It started last night with fireworks. We have a lot of fun family stuff planned. We will stay here at night and run around during the day. Some places we will go are as close as a couple of miles away and some we will drive four hours to reach our fun-filled destination.

I am not going to do any church stuff and will probably not post much here this week but I do have some interesting stuff floating around in my head that I would like to get out and tell you about so check back.

See you soon and be real …

Buildings and camps

The normal part of this week ends today - as normal parts of any weeks go, and tomorrow our family is going to Junior High Camp. There is so much to do here that it is hard to leave. Life (and church) will go on quite well without me I’m sure.

This weekend Brazos Pointe will start meeting in our new location. We still have to pass an inspection from the city to occupy the building so it would be cool if you could pray that way.

The sound system still needs to be put in place, the bathrooms still need to be put back together, and a door has to be replaced. But the right people are leading the charge (not me) and working on all that is left so I think it will come together.

It has been good to work on this building. Through the work I have been able to get closer to people I barely knew and closer to people I know well already. I wonder what we will all do when the work is finished.

No blogging for a couple of days while were at camp. I’ll be back to the blogsphere sometime next week. I hope you all get to see some fireworks with the people you love.

Be real …

To run again ...

Before I speak I have this nervous pent up energy that needs to be released. Usually that energy gets released during a morning run but morning runs haven’t been possible because of a trashed ankle. (I know ... I'm such a whiner)

Yesterday morning before church I helped set-up and then came home to clean up. My ankle has been swollen but hasn’t hurt so as I passed through the den I heard the treadmill calling my name. “Tommy run on me – you know you NEED it.” So I did. I ran a mile, at an easy pace. It was heaven. Even though it was short and slow it felt good to move again. I’ve been lifting weights and riding my bike some but its just not the same as running.

This morning I put on my headphones and turned on King’s X loud for a few easy miles. I ended up running three at good pace. Man I love to run.

Music, music, I hear music … music over my head.

Comfort from friends, prayer, my wife and the Bible

I officiated a funeral on Friday. Funerals are never easy but this one was emotionally draining mainly because it was an untimely death and I didn’t know quite a few of the people who attended. Some Brazos Pointe folks were there and they told me as they walked in the door that they were praying for me. One of our church leaders, Mark, gave the eulogy. Mark's wife Jennifer handled much of the details. Andrea encouraged me through the whole week. The prayers, being able to have Mark be a part of the funeral, Jennifer's help and Andrea’s presence were all huge comforts to me.

To top it off Andrea and I are speaking on the subject of sex (Mr and Mrs. Wondeful) this weekend in church.

Early in the week I ran across a verse from the Bible referenced in a book I am reading. It was an additional comfort for me throughout the week. The verse is Psalm 16:8. I posted it previously but here it is again:

I have set the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

God always provides what I need right on time.

This week ...

This is one of those weeks - A week where there is more to do than I could possibly accomplish.

This week I have to do some things that are far beyond my abilities. I have to do some things that give me moments of panic when I let my mind dwell on them too long. I have to do some things that require God to show up, because if I try to do them on my own it could get really ugly.

When I get too confident in my own abilities I am shown how much I need The Creator. And that my friends is a good thing.

I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Psalm 16:8

Chipotle

Andrea and I went to Tomball Texas to my friend Danny’s church called The Way. I preached for him while he was out of town. It was a really good experience.

Afterwards we ate at Chipotle. It is a burrito place with most excellent food. Try it and get a burrito with carnitas (free-range pork). We need a Chipotle here in Lake Jackson. I know it will never happen but I can always dream huh?

Ankle update ... as if you care

My ankle is still fried and I haven’t run since June 9. It is still swollen and hurts a little to walk but is slowly improving. I haven’t been off of it enough to let it heal properly so I'm sure it is my fault that it seems to be taking so long to get better.

I realize that this situation is nothing compared to the real pain others experience but it has been a good teacher. The slow down has improved my relationship with Andrea. I have read more in the mornings during the time I used to run and my time alone with God has improved.

Should I stop running then? Absolutely not. But there are other areas of my life I cannot neglect when I resume running.

To rid myself of some of this pent up energy, next week I will start riding my bike for exercise and lift some weights. Hopefully I will soon get back to the primal joy I get when running.

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, he speaks to us in our conscience, but he shouts at us in our pain.”

- C. S. Lewis

Time: the creation gift

I am reading Eugene Peterson’s book Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places. In it he talks of how God has given us the creation gift of time. I often think of time as a hindrance rather than a gift - a limiting factor. When I was a kid time stopped the fun. “Tommy come in for supper” stopped the play. Time was a limit for finishing a test. Time moved slow as I waited for the last thirty minutes of school to end.

Today time is what speeds away as I work towards a deadline. Time is something I have little of and it all seems to pass so fast. I think, someday I will step out of time and into eternity where I will no longer have to be a slave to time, as I exist in the presence of God.

Peterson says my view of time is skewed and as I think about it, I agree. Time is available to me, to exist within and enjoy creation, to enjoy God and others, to play with my kids, to swim at the beach, to work and be productive, to live life in all its fullness. Time is a gift.

Peterson goes on to say that of the “many desecrations of creation, the profanation of time ranks near the top … The most conspicuous evidences of this desecration are hurry and procrastination: Hurry turns away from the gift of time in a compulsive grabbing of abstractions that it can posses and control. Procrastination is distracted from the gift of time in a lazy inattentiveness to the life of obedience and adoration….”

Wow. I abuse the gift through hurry and procrastination. Time is a gift. How can I live in the “fullness of time”?

Tough decisions and fun at the beach

Yesterday morning Andrea and I had to make a decision that was not popular with our kids. The nature of the decision isn’t important here but the difficulty with which it was made is, I think. As we thought through this decision, we could have made our kids (and others) instantly happy by saying yes, but there was a life lesson involved and because of that we had to say no. I want my kids to love me, but more than being a popular dad I want Tori, Jakeb and Anna to grow up and live life well.

I am proud of how both Tori and Jakeb reacted. Anna did not react because the situation really didn’t involve her. As I watch my kids grow sometimes I worry, but ultimately in situations like yesterday I watch them react in mature ways and I know that they will be okay.

After lunch Jakeb and I went to the beach and rode body boards for a couple of hours. We had a great time. I forgot how much I enjoy the salt water, and sunshine. And to top it off, I was experiencing it all with my son. We rode waves and played hard. Even though we put on spf 30 sunscreen we both have the hue of Bob the tomato. Two hours in the sun yesterday provided for a painful experience today. It’s all good …

Country Music

I'm not a fan of country music. People who know me know as much. In fact as I write I'm listening to the new Cold Play (X&Y). So I thought this was an excellent post by Scott Williams and decided to rip it off to post here. Here is a link to it on Scott's blog ... link

___
i love country music too

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants.

The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love country music. Could you please play Garth Brooks for me one last time?"

"Certainly," replied the warden.

He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?""Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."

____
I know this is a dangerous post, being from Texas with Texas readers. I just ask that you be nice to one another in the comments. It's just a joke ...

My ankle is toast

This morning I ran with Jakeb. It’s the first time we’ve run together in weeks. So we decided to go for two easy miles and then I was going to run two on my own.

Less than a quarter of a mile from the house we were into a light jog and talking about how fast to run. As I stepped up onto a curb my foot hit some loose rocks and I went down in a heap. My ankle twisted and all of a sudden I was staring up at the sky. I popped up, not wanting passersby to see me lying on the ground because I was more worried about my pride than my ankle. As soon as I stood up I went back to the ground. I think it weirded Jakeb out because he has never seen me in as much pain as I was this morning. I hobbled back home and took an ibuprofen and put ice on my ankle.

Now I have a right ankle as big as a baseball. This is becoming a common occurrence. About twice a year I do something to twist my ankle while running. It’s getting old. I am not a very good at being at rest. I do not like being motionless. I WANT TO MOVE!

"Be still, and know that I am God; Psalm 46:10

I guess I don’t have much of a choice now do I? I sound bitter and maybe I am … a little. But I want to run.

Ordination Council

The ordination council went really well today. I went into it a little nervous but more than feeling examined, I felt really encouraged. I am thankful for people who are farther along in their journey who are willing to invest themselves in me and Andrea. I am a fortunate guy.

The basics and more

At the end of July Brazos Pointe Fellowship is going to ordain me as a preacher/pastor. Ordination is the church’s confirmation that I am called by God to do what I do. In some faith traditions one must be ordained before performing some of the duties of the church such as baptism and communion or the Lord’s Supper. For me it is a “setting apart” to ministry.

Today I am going before an ordination council that will question me on the essentials of the Christian faith and make sure I believe what I should believe and do not have any errant theology. So, this morning I sat down and reviewed some of the basics of the faith. What I believe about God. God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. What I believe about the Bible, about salvation, and about the church.

All of these concepts can be boiled down to basic elements that characterize my faith. But trying to make a short summary of what are such rich multifaceted ideas seems negligent. There is so much more to be said and so much more to be explored. Statements of faith don’t answer all of the questions, as some would believe. Statements of faith that answer questions just lead to a whole new set of questions. Questions about how go to a deeper into what I desire to live and know and believe about God.

Sometimes people ask questions just for knowledge sake. I am guilty of that myself. But I want to get to the point where I ask questions so that I can live. Live what I believe. To be an ordinary guy in an ordinary world living an extraordinary way of life – the Way of Jesus.

Kids and camps

Basketball has never been my game. In fact I stink at it. My son Jakeb though is pretty good. He already routinely beats me at "H-O-R-S-E". He has been at basketball camp this week and has had a great time. You can read more about it here --->link

My daughter Tori is musical and she has been at percussion camp this week. I am amazed that I have a daughter in High School. Watching her play yesterday made me realize how close to being grown up she really is. I am proud of the woman (man it stings to write that word) that she is becoming.

Because Tori was at band camp and Jakeb was at basketball camp, my mom took our six-year-old Anna for the week to Mimi camp. At Mimi camp Anna gets whatever she wants and does whatever she wants. She has boundaries of course but those boundaries are broader that the ones she has at home. She was going to be home on Thursday; then on Friday, but last night she informed us she was staying until Saturday and would be home in time for church Saturday night.

I've got good kids. They've got good grandparents. And I am blessed with the best wife and co-parent in the world. Life is good.

Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior's fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.

I don't want to be a haole

My time alone with God is fairly consistent. It is a habit. But consistency does not always mean it is earth shattering. In fact lately it has had a rhythm; kind of a routine – like brushing my teeth and taking a shower and getting dressed and going to work. It has been gray rather than being vibrantly colorful. My goal in meeting with God is to experience the transcendent. To exist in His presence.

I finished the book Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art by Madeleine L’Engle. It has been a great book and I’ve taken it slow, as one would eat a rich meal, one small bite at a time to make it last and savor the flavor. In it I found an insight into my time alone with God.

L’Engle writes of speaking at University of Hawaii:

In my commonplace book I’ve copied down the words of a Hawaiian Christian, Mother Alice Koholusuna:

"Before the missionaries came, my people used to sit outside their temples for a long time meditating and preparing themselves before entering. Then they would virtually creep to the altar to offer their petition and afterwards would again sit a long time outside, this time to “breathe life” into their prayers. The Christians, when they came, just got up, uttered a few sentences, said Amen, and were done. For that reason my people called the haoles, “without breath,” or those who failed to breathe life into their prayers."

I am afraid I have been a haole. I have been “without breath”.

It's interesting to me that both breath and spirit are used interchangeably in the Bible - as "ruah" in the Old Testament and as "pneuma" in the New Testament. To be “without breath” could be that I am not connecting with the spiritual.

This morning as I ran I paid close attention to my breath, how the act of breathing was to inhale and take in God and to exhale and eliminate the poison inside of me.

I don’t want to be a haole. I don’t want to be without breath.

the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
Genesis 2:7

Deconstruction

Brazos Pointe Fellowship is moving. From the beginning we have met at Lake Jackson Intermediate and that ended last Sunday. Right now we are a church on the move. But soon we will be a church that will settle down, at least as far as the location of our meetings on the weekend is concerned. Starting in July we will meet in a semi-permanent location but first we have to get the space ready.

Part of that has included destruction or deconstruction (whichever you prefer). Tearing stuff down has been hard work, fun, exhausting (in a good way), tedious, and productive. Walls have been torn down; flooring, ceiling and insulation removed. Wiring is being cut and lighting taken out. We’ve torn things apart so that we can build them back up.

That’s life. We tear down not just to be destructive but so that we can build up. As a church we constantly have to tear down our misconceptions about what it means to be the church so that we can build ourselves as a people who seek hard after the movement of God.

Personally I have to tear down what I know about life so I can build it back. What does it mean to follower of Jesus? Beyond some abstract idea, how does that look in my every day life?

Tearing stuff up can be fun, but it can be painful as well. Sometimes it is necessary.

We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

God is in the space

As I read Running the Spiritual Path yesterday I stared thinking:

The mind-set I’ve had made me think God could only be found in stuff. God is in the Bible. God is in me. God is in productivity and busyness. God is in the trees and the mountains. And He is in all of those places.

But lately I see that God can also be found in the spaces. In fact sometimes God is seen more clearly in the spaces.

When my mind is cluttered with the activity of the day God can barely be heard. But when I set aside everything my mind would otherwise ponder, I am engulfed by God in that space.

God is heard more clearly in the space of silence between footfalls when I run. I see God in the space between two trees when the sun comes up behind them.

I connect with God more deeply in space created by the rest of a Sabbath. More there than any activity of a busy day. I feel God in the space of a day of silence and solitude.

Pascal said we were all created with a God-shaped hole in our lives that can only be filled with Him. Even though I became a Christ-follower twenty years ago I still try to fill that hole with other things sometimes. But I am only right; I am only who Tommy was meant to be when I let God fill that hole – when I let God fill my space.

God is in the space.

Comfort and potential

Today is the first day of the thirty-ninth year of my life.

The older I become the more comfortable I am with who I am. As I get older I care less about what people think of me. I care less about the things the world tells me I should see as important. I realize that it is okay to slow down. I see God more clearly when there are fewer distractions. And I generally feel good about who God has made me to be.

The older I become the less satisfied I am with who I am. There is so much potential inside of me. But that potential is no good if I never let it out … like a disconnected battery with voltage that is waiting to be turned into current. I’ve got to live it.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Put a little soul in your living …

Influence

I’ve heard that I cannot change another person. People are who people are (profound huh?) and they will only change when they have an inclination do so. I can’t change a person but I can live a life of influence that in some way may cause a person to desire change.

I think about the concept of influence as it applies to my kids. I can exercise authority over them and they will submit. But when the authority is gone, so is the behavior it forced. From experience it is way more effective to influence my kids rather than force them to act a certain way and hope it forms a habit.

I can try to change Andrea but that is a waste of time. She can try to change me but that is an even larger amount of time wasted. There is this relational dance that must happen in marriage so that we can compliment one another rather than try to force change.

I think about influence and the role it plays in telling the gospel (the good news). For far to long the church has believed that it can force people into heaven with scare tactics or moral bullying; but the role of influence is even more important when pointing people toward God. Pointing people towards God requires conversation and influence. People move closer to God as they watch others live what they believe. They take the first step toward God and then He effects the change.

I think about the effect of influence on me. I am who I am because of experience and emotion and information. But I also am who I am because of the influence of people. I am influenced by my parents. I am influenced by my wife and my kids. I am influenced by those older than me who are farther along the path of life than I am. I am influenced by those who are my age and are traveling at the same pace. I am influenced by those younger than me who are coming up the path a little farther behind. I am influenced by people who are brilliant and complex and I am influenced by those who are simple. I am influence by those who lived long before me and those who live today because of what they have written down and published in book form or because of their art. I am influenced by people who live on the other side of the country as I listen to them teach and preach and report and sing on the internet and radio. I am influenced by bloggers who my only contact is through a computer screen. I have the finger prints of others all over me.

How about you? Show me your influence.

BTW – I’m listening to an iTune radio live stream and they are giving me the current weather for the Cayman Islands. Like that makes me feel good about sitting in my office.

Creativity - Part 3

This week Ronnie and I went to an experience for church leaders called Origins, hosted by Mosaic in Los Angeles. It was an incredible couple of days. I may post more about it later.

During one of the sessions Erwin McManus said, “Everyone is creative. Not everyone is artistic. Every human being has a mystic creative aspect of godliness to be pulled from their core.”

Most of the time when creativity is mentioned we think of the arts. Even though it includes the artist, the scope of creativity is far broader than just art.

Our Administrative Pastor Kirk is one of the most creative people I know. I would not call him an artist – his secular trade was that of an accountant. But Brazos Pointe Fellowship could not have church the way we do without the creative genius Kirk brings in all that he does.

Whoever you are and in whatever you do there is creativity inside of you that is a reflection of God. Ask God to bring that creativity to the surface.

"Creativity is the natural result of spirituality."
A Mosiac value.

Blog Free

This will be a blog free week - not that I've been all that consistent at posting lately anyway. I'll post some stuff next week.

Be real ...

Guitar

Do you want to learn to play the guitar? Or get better? … Link

Creativity - Part 2

I said I would follow up the creativity post from Monday with some stuff I have learned from others.

In the image of God—the Creator—we are made. First, a myth dispelled: there's no such thing as creative people and NON-creative people. It would be nice if it were that simple. No, we are all actively or inactively creative throughout every single day.
- C. McNair Wilson

Wilson says to be actively creative we should pursue these four traits:
- Taking Risks, proceeding without control over outcome. (didn't Jenny already say that?)
- Challenging Assumptions, ignoring all unwritten rules…
- Seeing Differently, trying everything in a new way, "Behold! All things have become new."
- Pursuing Curiosity, a great place to start: "What if …"

You can read the whole article here: Link

Dewitt Jones says “Creativity is the ability to look at what everyone else is looking at and see something different - the ability to look at the ordinary and see the extraordinary.”

To cultivate creativity Jones says:

- Make life your art
- Celebrate what is right with the world
- Don’t be afraid to make mistakes
- Pay attention
- Be a good listener
- Lighten up
- Learn to play

Again from Jones: “Use your intellect to train your technique and put yourself in the place of most potential to find the creative solution.”

I am encouraged to know that I can bring my creativity to the surface by cultivating what God has already placed inside of me.

Creativity

From Madeleine L’Engle’s book Walking on Water, Reflections on Faith and Art:

Finley Eversole, in The Politics of Creativity writes,

In our society, at the age of five, 90 percent of the population measures “high creativity”. By the age of seven, the figure has dropped to 10 percent. And the percentage of adults with high creativity is only two percent! Our creativity is destroyed not through the use of outside force, but through criticism, innuendo …

by the dirty devices of this world. So we are diminished, and we forget that we are more than we know. The child is aware of unlimited potential, and this munificence is one of the joys of creativity.

Those of us who struggle in our own ways, small or great, trickles or rivers, to create, are constantly having to unlearn what the world would teach us; it is not easy to keep a child’s high creativity in these late years of the twentieth century.

This is from a book I mentioned in yesterday's post and have added to my sidebar. It was written in 1980.

To become a better communicator I have to be increasingly creative. Much of what I have listened to and read lately has pointed to the fact that we are all creative, but creativity must be cultivated and unleashed and rediscovered.

Some say “I am just not a creative person". According to Finley Eversole (and Madeleine L’Engle) most of us are creative as children but our creativity has been pushed back.

If you see yourself as creative, or if people tell you that you are creative, or you know creative people; how does one nourish, develop and unleash that creativity; be it in art, music, the written word, speech, media, drama, dance or otherwise?

I may post later some of what I have learned, but first I’d like to learn from you.

Diaries and Short Family Vacations

Someone came to me as I stood outside after a worship service this morning and said, “You haven’t been writing much in your online diary.”

Online diary?!? A diary is a little book a fourth grade girl keeps under her bed with a cheap locking latch so that her little brother will not read about the boys she likes.

At least call it a journal. That sounds legitimate. And if there is anything I want to be in life it is legit. The problem is I write stuff in my journal far too personal and far too random to publish here.

It truth, it’s a web log and to be trendy we’ll just call it a “blog” for short. “Blog” is such a new word that Microsoft Word doesn’t have it in its spell check dictionary yet (unless of course I right-click and click “Add”).

There has been more than enough going on in my life to write about. Holding me back though is that life has been getting in the way of the discipline of writing.

Thursday and Friday the family went to New Braunfels and spent two full days on the banks of the Guadalupe River. We had the river to ourselves. It was fun to spend a couple of days playing with the kids. Tori, Jakeb, and I swam in the cold fast water of the river. Anna swam with us a bit closer to shore. Andrea got her legs wet - the water was too cold. Anna and I floated in a raft. We skipped rocks across the river together. We went to Gruene together. Jakeb and I took a morning run down River Road and later that day shot pool together in Gruene Hall (long before the band started playing and the craziness started). Andrea and I sat on the balcony in the morning and drank coffee together. We all ate at Schlotzsky’s – man I miss Schlotzsky’s.

On Friday afternoon the kids wanted me to go with them as they swam in the river one last time. I was beat but agreed to go. Instead of swimming I sat on a rock in the middle of the river with water swirling around me and read from a book I got week before last. It is written by Madeleine L’Engle and called Walking on Water, Reflections on Faith and Art. It is an incredible book on art and the creativity that rest inside of us all - creativity that is a reflection of our Creator.

Jakeb summed our short vacation up as he walked through the house on the river and said, “This is just what I needed.”

Thanks for letting me ramble on in my “diary”.

Hyper-green

Jakeb and I ran in the dark this morning. When we got home I went outside to feed the dogs and in the first light of morning noticed that the world has turned green while I wasn’t looking. When did this happen? The trees are in full color and the yard has lost the brown tint. There is this canopy over the backyard where I used to be able to see through the limbs of the pecan trees; now I just see folage. The world outside is in hypercolor.

It’s good to see that spring is really back – even though it took me a while to notice.

Just a penny is a treasure

I like listening to Andrew Peterson’s music. It is not a style of music most would pick for me. I told my friend Dano that when I listen to Andrew Peterson’s music I want to hand craft a guitar from a tree I cut down in the backyard of the cabin I own on the side of a mountain overlooking a clear stream in which I spend my evenings fly fishing; when I’m not playing my guitar, of course. The fact that I don’t play the guitar very well, don’t own a cabin anywhere and have only fly fished a couple of times doesn’t matter.

Sometimes I get in one of those funks where I feel as if I am worth nothing. You’ve been there too I know. We all have been there. If you say you haven’t … well, you’re lying (I don’t know how to be less blunt). I’ve been there some lately and I’m coming out of it – I always seem to. There is a song that has helped me see the other side, written by Andy Peterson.

Jesus tells how important we are to him in a story. It goes something like this (as recorded by the good doctor):

"Or imagine a woman who has ten coins and loses one. Won't she light a lamp and scour the house, looking in every nook and cranny until she finds it? And when she finds it you can be sure she'll call her friends and neighbors: 'Celebrate with me! I found my lost coin!' Count on it—that's the kind of party God's angels throw every time one lost soul turns to God."

Luke 15:8-10

Andrew Peterson puts that idea into a song called Loose Change – about a penny:

I'd give you all of me to know what you were thinking
And if I had one wish I'd wish I wasn't sinking here
Drowning in this well
Oh can't you tell

That I can't pick myself up off the ground
I've been face down
And pushed aside
Well, you know I'd rather just turn tail and run
Than lie here in the sun
And watch you pass me by
'Cause I ain't worth a dime

But if only I could stand up straight
I wouldn't have to lie and wait
I could up and roll away
And never be ignored
I've got a feeling that I'm something more
Than just a piece of copper ore
Turning green and looking for
The reason I was born

Well, I've been around since 1974
In banks and bottom drawers
On railroad ties
I've been passed around and cast aside
And skipped and flipped and flattened wide
Spun around and thrown away and left alone to lie

But I heard about a penny found
Lying underneath the couch
By a woman who was kneeling down
Looking for some change
Then the woman danced around
Called her friends all over town
Told 'em what was lost is found
It's another penny saved

So I find that all this time
Beneath the surface, I could shine
Like all the gold a king and queen could measure
See, even just a penny is a treasure

The man knows how to use words and turn phrases. And a spiritual truth (that “a penny like me, is a treasure”) makes more sense.

My running start

On a comment to a previous post Michelle asked how I got started running so I decided I would write it here.

During Andrea’s pregnancy with Tori she was gestational diabetic and her doctor put her on a 1000 calorie a day diet. I think gerbils eat more. It was torture for both of us (more Andrea than me). After Tori was born Andrea weighed less than before she got pregnant.

As a side note when Andrea was pregnant with Tori she craved Funyuns. Tori has always loved Funyuns, they are her favorite.

A little less than two years later Tori came up to me one evening while I was watching an Astros game. She threw herself in my lap and handed me a note (written for her by her mother) that said “Am I going to have a little brother or a little sister?” Andrea was pregnant again and we were excited. One of the coolest things though was the doctor told Andrea this pregnancy was normal and she could eat what she wanted. “Party!”

I was already heaver than I should be but if Andrea could eat for two I figured I could as well. So I started eating and gaining some serious pounds. Jakeb was born on March 18, 1993 and to celebrate I went to Zumgasthaus and ate one of their mongo steaks. I weighed more than I had ever weighed in my life and more than I have since.

In May, after Jakeb was born I decided that enough was enough and stepped out the door of our house in Richwood to run…and lose weight. I barely made it around the block and the shoes I ran in were Reebok tennis shoes. The next day my arches were screaming at me and I almost quit. My vanity wouldn’t let me though.

Like I do with everything I went to the book store and bought a book about running. It told me how to start. I went and bought a cheap pair of New Balance running shoes and marked out a three-mile course. I ran until I was close to being worn out and then I would walk until I recovered. I did that until I could run the whole three miles. I took what seemed like forever.

Then I put my headphones on and turned up King’s X “Faith, Hope, and Love” as loud as it would go and I got to where I was running about 20 miles a week. I lost weight. I trained for my first 5k, which I finished in 25:11, and I’ve never looked back.

I am a runner. I have been a very devoted runner. I’ve been a not so devoted runner. I’ve trained hard and I’ve trained not so hard. I’ve run far and I’ve run short. I’ve been much faster than I am now but I’ve been slower too. I’ve backslidden and not run at all for months. But I’ve never stopped being a runner.

Runner – It isn’t the sole word that defines me, but it is in the definition of who I am.

I started running to lose weight.

I run now because it is a discipline I cannot walk away from. It is epidemic.

I run because I can think.

I run for accomplishment.

I run because it’s something not many other people do. One of those “stand out from the crowd” kind of things. Which is smug, I know.

I run to listen to music.

I run to listen to nature.

I run because sometimes right before first light mexican bats swoop around my head. How else would I even know there were mexican bats in Lake Jackson in the summer time?

I run to listen to silence.

I run because I can.

…let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus.
Hebrews 12:1-2

Movie Date Day

Life has kept Andrea and me on different paths lately. Nothing has been wrong in our relationship; we just have not had much time to exist alone in one place together. Both of us know that we can’t go on like that very long, so we decided to have a movie date day on Monday. I picked up two movies on Sunday night and as soon as we got the kids off to school we sat down to watch the first one.

Spanglish was an okay movie. The best part of the movie was seeing that two people could put aside their selfishness and do what was right for those around them - A decidedly Christ-like theme in a movie that didn’t take a side. Adam Sandler did a good job of acting in a very un-Adam Sandler way. Tea Leoni was funny.

After running some errands, eating lunch at school with Jakeb and an afternoon nap Andrea and I put in Finding Neverland.

What an excellent movie. Johnny Depp is just too good. I have a friend named Jim from Scotland and Depp did such a good job with the accent I thought I was listening to my friend.

Finding Neverland is a film that reminded me of the importance of imagination without ignoring how harsh reality is sometimes. There were no simple answers to the complex issues the characters faced. It was a movie full of wonder and yet sometimes disturbing. Just like life.

Jakeb is blogging

There is a new blogger under the Stunz roof. Check out what my son Jakeb has to say here ...> Link

Blog Stats

Today I was checking my site statistics to see how many people have shown up at my blog and where they are coming from. You can see it for yourself by clicking the small multicolored box at the bottom of this page. It seems that on average there are fourty-one people who read my blog per day.

What I find interesting is how people find “Stunz blog”. Most people connect to my blog through the Brazos Pointe Fellowship web sight. But some people find my blog through search engines. Just today people came to my blog by making the following searches:

Google ………. “running is bad for you” (#22)
Yahoo ………... “marriage mentoring” (#18)
Yahoo ............. "Making Marbles" (#5)
Yahoo ……….. “is Lance Armstrong a good role model” (#7)
Lycos ………… “A Trip to the Dentist” (#24)
Yahoo ……….. “A 1000 things I want to do before I die” (#4)

Blogs still amaze me. And I am amazed at how people find mine.

Gator Gallop 5k

Jakeb, Andrea and I ran the Gator Gallop 5k on Saturday. There were quite a few BPF people running and watching the race. Mary Margaret, Jennifer, Edwin, Jason, Terry, Cy, et al. The danger of trying to name people is I will inevitably miss someone who was there. If that’s you I’m sorry.

Friday night I went to see Jakeb’s baseball game and there were Brazos Pointe Fellowship people wherever I looked. It is amazing to me the relational potential for pointing others toward Jesus that the people at Brazos Pointe Fellowship have as we live life in the Brazosport area. BPF exists everywhere, even when we’re not meeting.

Back to the race - Andrea and Jakeb have both been training for a 5k. Their goal race is not until next month but they both decided to run the Gator Gallop 5k at Brazosport College. Andrea hasn’t run the full distance since her foot surgery. Jakeb ran 3 miles for the first time last week.

Andrea is my hero. She was feeling sick a couple of days before the race and on Thursday when she and Jakeb were running she tripped and fell on the concrete. Even with the pain she gutted it up and ran/walked the 5k.

I ran it and felt pretty good. I maintained a comfortable pace and finished in twenty-four minutes and twenty-something seconds. I didn’t stop my watch so I am not sure of an exact time.

I was going to grab a drink and go back and help Jakeb run the rest of the way in. I took a drink and looked up and there was Jakeb striding to the finish only about a minute behind me. I was suddenly struck by the realization that I will soon be beat soundly by my son.

When it was all said and done Jakeb won second place in the 12 and under category. I finished 3rd in the 30 – 39 age group. Jakeb second, dad third. The beginning of a pattern I'm sure.

It was a good day! The whole family have to do it again soon.

Pope John Paul II

There has been so much coverage on the death of Pope John Paul II that I hesitate to write because I probably will not say anything most of you have not heard already.

As I listen to all of the stories of his life what strikes me is how much the Pope enjoyed the same aspects of life everyday people enjoy. He skied, played soccer and kept up with culture as we all like to do. I am also stuck by how brilliant the Pope was. Knowing numerous languages, understanding theology, and relating to both heads-of-state and working folks. I am struck by a man who stood by what he believed to be true even though the world pushed so hard against those beliefs (some of which I disagree). Above all I am struck by a life that was lived in such devotion to God.

I want to be a well rounded person. I want to be a person that enjoys all life has to give. I want to learn as much as I can learn. I want to live what I believe. I want to be as devoted to God as I possibly can be. I want to live well.

“He’s taught us how to live, he’s taught us how to suffer, and now he’s teaching us how to die.”
– Jim Mulligan, a Missouri deacon studying in Rome (From April 11, 2005 U.S. News and World Report)