Kids and camps

Basketball has never been my game. In fact I stink at it. My son Jakeb though is pretty good. He already routinely beats me at "H-O-R-S-E". He has been at basketball camp this week and has had a great time. You can read more about it here --->link

My daughter Tori is musical and she has been at percussion camp this week. I am amazed that I have a daughter in High School. Watching her play yesterday made me realize how close to being grown up she really is. I am proud of the woman (man it stings to write that word) that she is becoming.

Because Tori was at band camp and Jakeb was at basketball camp, my mom took our six-year-old Anna for the week to Mimi camp. At Mimi camp Anna gets whatever she wants and does whatever she wants. She has boundaries of course but those boundaries are broader that the ones she has at home. She was going to be home on Thursday; then on Friday, but last night she informed us she was staying until Saturday and would be home in time for church Saturday night.

I've got good kids. They've got good grandparents. And I am blessed with the best wife and co-parent in the world. Life is good.

Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior's fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.

I don't want to be a haole

My time alone with God is fairly consistent. It is a habit. But consistency does not always mean it is earth shattering. In fact lately it has had a rhythm; kind of a routine – like brushing my teeth and taking a shower and getting dressed and going to work. It has been gray rather than being vibrantly colorful. My goal in meeting with God is to experience the transcendent. To exist in His presence.

I finished the book Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art by Madeleine L’Engle. It has been a great book and I’ve taken it slow, as one would eat a rich meal, one small bite at a time to make it last and savor the flavor. In it I found an insight into my time alone with God.

L’Engle writes of speaking at University of Hawaii:

In my commonplace book I’ve copied down the words of a Hawaiian Christian, Mother Alice Koholusuna:

"Before the missionaries came, my people used to sit outside their temples for a long time meditating and preparing themselves before entering. Then they would virtually creep to the altar to offer their petition and afterwards would again sit a long time outside, this time to “breathe life” into their prayers. The Christians, when they came, just got up, uttered a few sentences, said Amen, and were done. For that reason my people called the haoles, “without breath,” or those who failed to breathe life into their prayers."

I am afraid I have been a haole. I have been “without breath”.

It's interesting to me that both breath and spirit are used interchangeably in the Bible - as "ruah" in the Old Testament and as "pneuma" in the New Testament. To be “without breath” could be that I am not connecting with the spiritual.

This morning as I ran I paid close attention to my breath, how the act of breathing was to inhale and take in God and to exhale and eliminate the poison inside of me.

I don’t want to be a haole. I don’t want to be without breath.

the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
Genesis 2:7

Deconstruction

Brazos Pointe Fellowship is moving. From the beginning we have met at Lake Jackson Intermediate and that ended last Sunday. Right now we are a church on the move. But soon we will be a church that will settle down, at least as far as the location of our meetings on the weekend is concerned. Starting in July we will meet in a semi-permanent location but first we have to get the space ready.

Part of that has included destruction or deconstruction (whichever you prefer). Tearing stuff down has been hard work, fun, exhausting (in a good way), tedious, and productive. Walls have been torn down; flooring, ceiling and insulation removed. Wiring is being cut and lighting taken out. We’ve torn things apart so that we can build them back up.

That’s life. We tear down not just to be destructive but so that we can build up. As a church we constantly have to tear down our misconceptions about what it means to be the church so that we can build ourselves as a people who seek hard after the movement of God.

Personally I have to tear down what I know about life so I can build it back. What does it mean to follower of Jesus? Beyond some abstract idea, how does that look in my every day life?

Tearing stuff up can be fun, but it can be painful as well. Sometimes it is necessary.

We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

God is in the space

As I read Running the Spiritual Path yesterday I stared thinking:

The mind-set I’ve had made me think God could only be found in stuff. God is in the Bible. God is in me. God is in productivity and busyness. God is in the trees and the mountains. And He is in all of those places.

But lately I see that God can also be found in the spaces. In fact sometimes God is seen more clearly in the spaces.

When my mind is cluttered with the activity of the day God can barely be heard. But when I set aside everything my mind would otherwise ponder, I am engulfed by God in that space.

God is heard more clearly in the space of silence between footfalls when I run. I see God in the space between two trees when the sun comes up behind them.

I connect with God more deeply in space created by the rest of a Sabbath. More there than any activity of a busy day. I feel God in the space of a day of silence and solitude.

Pascal said we were all created with a God-shaped hole in our lives that can only be filled with Him. Even though I became a Christ-follower twenty years ago I still try to fill that hole with other things sometimes. But I am only right; I am only who Tommy was meant to be when I let God fill that hole – when I let God fill my space.

God is in the space.

Comfort and potential

Today is the first day of the thirty-ninth year of my life.

The older I become the more comfortable I am with who I am. As I get older I care less about what people think of me. I care less about the things the world tells me I should see as important. I realize that it is okay to slow down. I see God more clearly when there are fewer distractions. And I generally feel good about who God has made me to be.

The older I become the less satisfied I am with who I am. There is so much potential inside of me. But that potential is no good if I never let it out … like a disconnected battery with voltage that is waiting to be turned into current. I’ve got to live it.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Put a little soul in your living …

Influence

I’ve heard that I cannot change another person. People are who people are (profound huh?) and they will only change when they have an inclination do so. I can’t change a person but I can live a life of influence that in some way may cause a person to desire change.

I think about the concept of influence as it applies to my kids. I can exercise authority over them and they will submit. But when the authority is gone, so is the behavior it forced. From experience it is way more effective to influence my kids rather than force them to act a certain way and hope it forms a habit.

I can try to change Andrea but that is a waste of time. She can try to change me but that is an even larger amount of time wasted. There is this relational dance that must happen in marriage so that we can compliment one another rather than try to force change.

I think about influence and the role it plays in telling the gospel (the good news). For far to long the church has believed that it can force people into heaven with scare tactics or moral bullying; but the role of influence is even more important when pointing people toward God. Pointing people towards God requires conversation and influence. People move closer to God as they watch others live what they believe. They take the first step toward God and then He effects the change.

I think about the effect of influence on me. I am who I am because of experience and emotion and information. But I also am who I am because of the influence of people. I am influenced by my parents. I am influenced by my wife and my kids. I am influenced by those older than me who are farther along the path of life than I am. I am influenced by those who are my age and are traveling at the same pace. I am influenced by those younger than me who are coming up the path a little farther behind. I am influenced by people who are brilliant and complex and I am influenced by those who are simple. I am influence by those who lived long before me and those who live today because of what they have written down and published in book form or because of their art. I am influenced by people who live on the other side of the country as I listen to them teach and preach and report and sing on the internet and radio. I am influenced by bloggers who my only contact is through a computer screen. I have the finger prints of others all over me.

How about you? Show me your influence.

BTW – I’m listening to an iTune radio live stream and they are giving me the current weather for the Cayman Islands. Like that makes me feel good about sitting in my office.

Creativity - Part 3

This week Ronnie and I went to an experience for church leaders called Origins, hosted by Mosaic in Los Angeles. It was an incredible couple of days. I may post more about it later.

During one of the sessions Erwin McManus said, “Everyone is creative. Not everyone is artistic. Every human being has a mystic creative aspect of godliness to be pulled from their core.”

Most of the time when creativity is mentioned we think of the arts. Even though it includes the artist, the scope of creativity is far broader than just art.

Our Administrative Pastor Kirk is one of the most creative people I know. I would not call him an artist – his secular trade was that of an accountant. But Brazos Pointe Fellowship could not have church the way we do without the creative genius Kirk brings in all that he does.

Whoever you are and in whatever you do there is creativity inside of you that is a reflection of God. Ask God to bring that creativity to the surface.

"Creativity is the natural result of spirituality."
A Mosiac value.

Blog Free

This will be a blog free week - not that I've been all that consistent at posting lately anyway. I'll post some stuff next week.

Be real ...

Guitar

Do you want to learn to play the guitar? Or get better? … Link

Creativity - Part 2

I said I would follow up the creativity post from Monday with some stuff I have learned from others.

In the image of God—the Creator—we are made. First, a myth dispelled: there's no such thing as creative people and NON-creative people. It would be nice if it were that simple. No, we are all actively or inactively creative throughout every single day.
- C. McNair Wilson

Wilson says to be actively creative we should pursue these four traits:
- Taking Risks, proceeding without control over outcome. (didn't Jenny already say that?)
- Challenging Assumptions, ignoring all unwritten rules…
- Seeing Differently, trying everything in a new way, "Behold! All things have become new."
- Pursuing Curiosity, a great place to start: "What if …"

You can read the whole article here: Link

Dewitt Jones says “Creativity is the ability to look at what everyone else is looking at and see something different - the ability to look at the ordinary and see the extraordinary.”

To cultivate creativity Jones says:

- Make life your art
- Celebrate what is right with the world
- Don’t be afraid to make mistakes
- Pay attention
- Be a good listener
- Lighten up
- Learn to play

Again from Jones: “Use your intellect to train your technique and put yourself in the place of most potential to find the creative solution.”

I am encouraged to know that I can bring my creativity to the surface by cultivating what God has already placed inside of me.

Creativity

From Madeleine L’Engle’s book Walking on Water, Reflections on Faith and Art:

Finley Eversole, in The Politics of Creativity writes,

In our society, at the age of five, 90 percent of the population measures “high creativity”. By the age of seven, the figure has dropped to 10 percent. And the percentage of adults with high creativity is only two percent! Our creativity is destroyed not through the use of outside force, but through criticism, innuendo …

by the dirty devices of this world. So we are diminished, and we forget that we are more than we know. The child is aware of unlimited potential, and this munificence is one of the joys of creativity.

Those of us who struggle in our own ways, small or great, trickles or rivers, to create, are constantly having to unlearn what the world would teach us; it is not easy to keep a child’s high creativity in these late years of the twentieth century.

This is from a book I mentioned in yesterday's post and have added to my sidebar. It was written in 1980.

To become a better communicator I have to be increasingly creative. Much of what I have listened to and read lately has pointed to the fact that we are all creative, but creativity must be cultivated and unleashed and rediscovered.

Some say “I am just not a creative person". According to Finley Eversole (and Madeleine L’Engle) most of us are creative as children but our creativity has been pushed back.

If you see yourself as creative, or if people tell you that you are creative, or you know creative people; how does one nourish, develop and unleash that creativity; be it in art, music, the written word, speech, media, drama, dance or otherwise?

I may post later some of what I have learned, but first I’d like to learn from you.

Diaries and Short Family Vacations

Someone came to me as I stood outside after a worship service this morning and said, “You haven’t been writing much in your online diary.”

Online diary?!? A diary is a little book a fourth grade girl keeps under her bed with a cheap locking latch so that her little brother will not read about the boys she likes.

At least call it a journal. That sounds legitimate. And if there is anything I want to be in life it is legit. The problem is I write stuff in my journal far too personal and far too random to publish here.

It truth, it’s a web log and to be trendy we’ll just call it a “blog” for short. “Blog” is such a new word that Microsoft Word doesn’t have it in its spell check dictionary yet (unless of course I right-click and click “Add”).

There has been more than enough going on in my life to write about. Holding me back though is that life has been getting in the way of the discipline of writing.

Thursday and Friday the family went to New Braunfels and spent two full days on the banks of the Guadalupe River. We had the river to ourselves. It was fun to spend a couple of days playing with the kids. Tori, Jakeb, and I swam in the cold fast water of the river. Anna swam with us a bit closer to shore. Andrea got her legs wet - the water was too cold. Anna and I floated in a raft. We skipped rocks across the river together. We went to Gruene together. Jakeb and I took a morning run down River Road and later that day shot pool together in Gruene Hall (long before the band started playing and the craziness started). Andrea and I sat on the balcony in the morning and drank coffee together. We all ate at Schlotzsky’s – man I miss Schlotzsky’s.

On Friday afternoon the kids wanted me to go with them as they swam in the river one last time. I was beat but agreed to go. Instead of swimming I sat on a rock in the middle of the river with water swirling around me and read from a book I got week before last. It is written by Madeleine L’Engle and called Walking on Water, Reflections on Faith and Art. It is an incredible book on art and the creativity that rest inside of us all - creativity that is a reflection of our Creator.

Jakeb summed our short vacation up as he walked through the house on the river and said, “This is just what I needed.”

Thanks for letting me ramble on in my “diary”.

Hyper-green

Jakeb and I ran in the dark this morning. When we got home I went outside to feed the dogs and in the first light of morning noticed that the world has turned green while I wasn’t looking. When did this happen? The trees are in full color and the yard has lost the brown tint. There is this canopy over the backyard where I used to be able to see through the limbs of the pecan trees; now I just see folage. The world outside is in hypercolor.

It’s good to see that spring is really back – even though it took me a while to notice.

Just a penny is a treasure

I like listening to Andrew Peterson’s music. It is not a style of music most would pick for me. I told my friend Dano that when I listen to Andrew Peterson’s music I want to hand craft a guitar from a tree I cut down in the backyard of the cabin I own on the side of a mountain overlooking a clear stream in which I spend my evenings fly fishing; when I’m not playing my guitar, of course. The fact that I don’t play the guitar very well, don’t own a cabin anywhere and have only fly fished a couple of times doesn’t matter.

Sometimes I get in one of those funks where I feel as if I am worth nothing. You’ve been there too I know. We all have been there. If you say you haven’t … well, you’re lying (I don’t know how to be less blunt). I’ve been there some lately and I’m coming out of it – I always seem to. There is a song that has helped me see the other side, written by Andy Peterson.

Jesus tells how important we are to him in a story. It goes something like this (as recorded by the good doctor):

"Or imagine a woman who has ten coins and loses one. Won't she light a lamp and scour the house, looking in every nook and cranny until she finds it? And when she finds it you can be sure she'll call her friends and neighbors: 'Celebrate with me! I found my lost coin!' Count on it—that's the kind of party God's angels throw every time one lost soul turns to God."

Luke 15:8-10

Andrew Peterson puts that idea into a song called Loose Change – about a penny:

I'd give you all of me to know what you were thinking
And if I had one wish I'd wish I wasn't sinking here
Drowning in this well
Oh can't you tell

That I can't pick myself up off the ground
I've been face down
And pushed aside
Well, you know I'd rather just turn tail and run
Than lie here in the sun
And watch you pass me by
'Cause I ain't worth a dime

But if only I could stand up straight
I wouldn't have to lie and wait
I could up and roll away
And never be ignored
I've got a feeling that I'm something more
Than just a piece of copper ore
Turning green and looking for
The reason I was born

Well, I've been around since 1974
In banks and bottom drawers
On railroad ties
I've been passed around and cast aside
And skipped and flipped and flattened wide
Spun around and thrown away and left alone to lie

But I heard about a penny found
Lying underneath the couch
By a woman who was kneeling down
Looking for some change
Then the woman danced around
Called her friends all over town
Told 'em what was lost is found
It's another penny saved

So I find that all this time
Beneath the surface, I could shine
Like all the gold a king and queen could measure
See, even just a penny is a treasure

The man knows how to use words and turn phrases. And a spiritual truth (that “a penny like me, is a treasure”) makes more sense.

My running start

On a comment to a previous post Michelle asked how I got started running so I decided I would write it here.

During Andrea’s pregnancy with Tori she was gestational diabetic and her doctor put her on a 1000 calorie a day diet. I think gerbils eat more. It was torture for both of us (more Andrea than me). After Tori was born Andrea weighed less than before she got pregnant.

As a side note when Andrea was pregnant with Tori she craved Funyuns. Tori has always loved Funyuns, they are her favorite.

A little less than two years later Tori came up to me one evening while I was watching an Astros game. She threw herself in my lap and handed me a note (written for her by her mother) that said “Am I going to have a little brother or a little sister?” Andrea was pregnant again and we were excited. One of the coolest things though was the doctor told Andrea this pregnancy was normal and she could eat what she wanted. “Party!”

I was already heaver than I should be but if Andrea could eat for two I figured I could as well. So I started eating and gaining some serious pounds. Jakeb was born on March 18, 1993 and to celebrate I went to Zumgasthaus and ate one of their mongo steaks. I weighed more than I had ever weighed in my life and more than I have since.

In May, after Jakeb was born I decided that enough was enough and stepped out the door of our house in Richwood to run…and lose weight. I barely made it around the block and the shoes I ran in were Reebok tennis shoes. The next day my arches were screaming at me and I almost quit. My vanity wouldn’t let me though.

Like I do with everything I went to the book store and bought a book about running. It told me how to start. I went and bought a cheap pair of New Balance running shoes and marked out a three-mile course. I ran until I was close to being worn out and then I would walk until I recovered. I did that until I could run the whole three miles. I took what seemed like forever.

Then I put my headphones on and turned up King’s X “Faith, Hope, and Love” as loud as it would go and I got to where I was running about 20 miles a week. I lost weight. I trained for my first 5k, which I finished in 25:11, and I’ve never looked back.

I am a runner. I have been a very devoted runner. I’ve been a not so devoted runner. I’ve trained hard and I’ve trained not so hard. I’ve run far and I’ve run short. I’ve been much faster than I am now but I’ve been slower too. I’ve backslidden and not run at all for months. But I’ve never stopped being a runner.

Runner – It isn’t the sole word that defines me, but it is in the definition of who I am.

I started running to lose weight.

I run now because it is a discipline I cannot walk away from. It is epidemic.

I run because I can think.

I run for accomplishment.

I run because it’s something not many other people do. One of those “stand out from the crowd” kind of things. Which is smug, I know.

I run to listen to music.

I run to listen to nature.

I run because sometimes right before first light mexican bats swoop around my head. How else would I even know there were mexican bats in Lake Jackson in the summer time?

I run to listen to silence.

I run because I can.

…let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus.
Hebrews 12:1-2

Movie Date Day

Life has kept Andrea and me on different paths lately. Nothing has been wrong in our relationship; we just have not had much time to exist alone in one place together. Both of us know that we can’t go on like that very long, so we decided to have a movie date day on Monday. I picked up two movies on Sunday night and as soon as we got the kids off to school we sat down to watch the first one.

Spanglish was an okay movie. The best part of the movie was seeing that two people could put aside their selfishness and do what was right for those around them - A decidedly Christ-like theme in a movie that didn’t take a side. Adam Sandler did a good job of acting in a very un-Adam Sandler way. Tea Leoni was funny.

After running some errands, eating lunch at school with Jakeb and an afternoon nap Andrea and I put in Finding Neverland.

What an excellent movie. Johnny Depp is just too good. I have a friend named Jim from Scotland and Depp did such a good job with the accent I thought I was listening to my friend.

Finding Neverland is a film that reminded me of the importance of imagination without ignoring how harsh reality is sometimes. There were no simple answers to the complex issues the characters faced. It was a movie full of wonder and yet sometimes disturbing. Just like life.

Jakeb is blogging

There is a new blogger under the Stunz roof. Check out what my son Jakeb has to say here ...> Link

Blog Stats

Today I was checking my site statistics to see how many people have shown up at my blog and where they are coming from. You can see it for yourself by clicking the small multicolored box at the bottom of this page. It seems that on average there are fourty-one people who read my blog per day.

What I find interesting is how people find “Stunz blog”. Most people connect to my blog through the Brazos Pointe Fellowship web sight. But some people find my blog through search engines. Just today people came to my blog by making the following searches:

Google ………. “running is bad for you” (#22)
Yahoo ………... “marriage mentoring” (#18)
Yahoo ............. "Making Marbles" (#5)
Yahoo ……….. “is Lance Armstrong a good role model” (#7)
Lycos ………… “A Trip to the Dentist” (#24)
Yahoo ……….. “A 1000 things I want to do before I die” (#4)

Blogs still amaze me. And I am amazed at how people find mine.

Gator Gallop 5k

Jakeb, Andrea and I ran the Gator Gallop 5k on Saturday. There were quite a few BPF people running and watching the race. Mary Margaret, Jennifer, Edwin, Jason, Terry, Cy, et al. The danger of trying to name people is I will inevitably miss someone who was there. If that’s you I’m sorry.

Friday night I went to see Jakeb’s baseball game and there were Brazos Pointe Fellowship people wherever I looked. It is amazing to me the relational potential for pointing others toward Jesus that the people at Brazos Pointe Fellowship have as we live life in the Brazosport area. BPF exists everywhere, even when we’re not meeting.

Back to the race - Andrea and Jakeb have both been training for a 5k. Their goal race is not until next month but they both decided to run the Gator Gallop 5k at Brazosport College. Andrea hasn’t run the full distance since her foot surgery. Jakeb ran 3 miles for the first time last week.

Andrea is my hero. She was feeling sick a couple of days before the race and on Thursday when she and Jakeb were running she tripped and fell on the concrete. Even with the pain she gutted it up and ran/walked the 5k.

I ran it and felt pretty good. I maintained a comfortable pace and finished in twenty-four minutes and twenty-something seconds. I didn’t stop my watch so I am not sure of an exact time.

I was going to grab a drink and go back and help Jakeb run the rest of the way in. I took a drink and looked up and there was Jakeb striding to the finish only about a minute behind me. I was suddenly struck by the realization that I will soon be beat soundly by my son.

When it was all said and done Jakeb won second place in the 12 and under category. I finished 3rd in the 30 – 39 age group. Jakeb second, dad third. The beginning of a pattern I'm sure.

It was a good day! The whole family have to do it again soon.

Pope John Paul II

There has been so much coverage on the death of Pope John Paul II that I hesitate to write because I probably will not say anything most of you have not heard already.

As I listen to all of the stories of his life what strikes me is how much the Pope enjoyed the same aspects of life everyday people enjoy. He skied, played soccer and kept up with culture as we all like to do. I am also stuck by how brilliant the Pope was. Knowing numerous languages, understanding theology, and relating to both heads-of-state and working folks. I am struck by a man who stood by what he believed to be true even though the world pushed so hard against those beliefs (some of which I disagree). Above all I am struck by a life that was lived in such devotion to God.

I want to be a well rounded person. I want to be a person that enjoys all life has to give. I want to learn as much as I can learn. I want to live what I believe. I want to be as devoted to God as I possibly can be. I want to live well.

“He’s taught us how to live, he’s taught us how to suffer, and now he’s teaching us how to die.”
– Jim Mulligan, a Missouri deacon studying in Rome (From April 11, 2005 U.S. News and World Report)

It's got to be the shoes!

I bought some new running shoes today.

When I was growing up my mom would take me and my brother to the store at the beginning of school to buy clothes. Most of the time those trips were horrible for everyone involved. My mom would be intent on getting new shirts and pants and the two of us were just horse playing and hiding under the clothes rack. I don’t know how many times she would say “Just wait till we get home …!”

The only item of clothing I really cared about was my new pair of shoes. Do you remember getting new shoes when you were a kid? I do. I would run everywhere, because my new shoes made me run faster. I would jump to try to touch everything above me, because my new shoes made me jump higher.

That’s how I feel today. I ran two miles with Jakeb this morning and another mile on my own in my old pair of running shoes. Tomorrow morning I am going to breakfast with a good friend and won't get to run. So I think I’ll go home tonight and go for another run in my new “run fast, jump high” Asics Gel-1100’s. I can't wait!

I don't know about you, but I'm running hard for the finish line. I'm giving it everything I've got. No sloppy living for me!
1 Corinthians 9:26

I don't own the phone

On Monday we were hanging out with some friends, eating lunch and enjoying our day off. It was kind of comical to sit at the table and listen to everyone’s cell phones ringing.

“Hold on a minute, I’ve gotta catch this one.”

Mine never rang because I don’t own a cell phone. We pay a bill for two because Andrea has one and our kids carry around our “second” cell phone. I have yet to step into the 21st century and get one for myself.

Why?

I really don’t like being that connected. In fact I like being “unavailable” every once in a while. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy hanging out with friends but why would I want to talk to them when my goal is to buy Raisin Bran and dog food? Really … can’t it wait until I get close to the phone tied to the wall in my house or office?

I like that Andrea has a cell phone because it keeps her in touch with the kids should they need her. I like that the kids can carry the second cell phone when they are out somewhere. I think cell phones are great for everyone who owns and takes advantage of the technology. This is a personal thing, but I am at a loss as to why I would need one.

Easter at BPF

Easter services last night and today were great. This weekend has been full of expectation since it is Easter and the weekend of Brazos Pointe Fellowship’s first Saturday service. It is cool to watch how many people worked so hard to make both come off so well.

We work with an incredible group of volunteers. As a staff we stretched you guys and you met the challenge and in many cases exceeded our expectations. I would like to thank our weekend technical crew mainly because I work closely with them. I am constantly amazed at what you guys make happen at BPF week in and week out. Thank you!

For everyone who worked to make this weekend a success – thank you! Because of what you do there are people who attended BPF this weekend who will never be the same as God has interrupted their lives with His reckless love and grace.

Texas

Those of you who read here often may or may not notice that I change my blog header from time-to-time. I like variety in most things thus the change. The image I chose this time is of the Texas flag and bluebonnets – both very “Texas-kind-of-things” especially this time of year. It got me to thinking…

I love living in Texas. I love that I was born here. I love that I have lived here all of my life. I even like the fact that I was twelve years old before I stepped outside of the state. Every time I leave Texas it is always good to get back.

I had a job that sent me to Louisiana for seven months. I would leave early Monday morning and come back Friday afternoon every week. The best part of the week was to travel west over the Sabine River.

I love Texas for a million different reasons, but let me name a few:

San Antonio, the river walk, Mexican food, the Alamo, the cold water of the Guadalupe and Comal rivers in New Braunfels, the memory of picking peaches in Fredericksburg when I was a kid, Gruene and the Grist Mill, camping and fishing on Lake Livingston, surfing off of Matagorda Beach, Houston, the Astros, the Rockets, the Cowboys (when I was younger) and the Texans (now), catching redfish and flounder near San Luis Pass, seafood in Galveston, the board walk in Kemah, watching the bats fly from under Congress Avenue bridge in Austin, running on town lake trail, mountain biking at Rocky Hill Ranch, jumping into Canyon Lake from the rocks, Chuy’s, picking corn in Wharton, floating down the Colorado in a canoe, …

I could go on all day but you get the point. I’m not trying to brag or boast, just remember. For those of you who’ve never been here, you should at least visit; Texas is a great place!

That’s right you’re not from Texas, but Texas wants you anyway.
- Lyle Lovett

Assuming you've been here, what do you like best about Texas?

The Engines of Our Ingenuity

Most mornings as I drive my daughter Tori to school there is a sarcastic yet friendly battle over the radio station. Do you know how hard it is to try to drive, drink coffee and guard the radio all at the same time? It's even worse when I'm trying to eat a bowl of Raisin Bran too.

Tori wants to listen to KSBJ. I don’t mind it so much except that the morning DJs are kinda corny and sappy.

I, on the other hand, like to listen to KUHF. KUHF is the local NPR affiliate. I really enjoy the way “All Things Considered” reports news in such a way as to show the humanity in every story even though it sometimes has political leanings.

Even more than All Things Considered I dig listening to The Engines of Our Ingenuity from John Lienhard at U of H. The tag line at the beginning of the show is "[this is] a series about the machines that make our civilization run, and the people whose ingenuity created them.” The ending of the show is always “I'm John Lienhard, at the University of Houston, where we're interested in the way inventive minds work”.

The content between those two lines is almost always interesting. Today the program was about geometry and fonts. A couple of days ago it was about how our willingness to cooperate with others releases a chemical in the brain called dopamine which creates a feeling of pleasure. In other words cooperation is pleasurable.

Great stuff!

Tori doesn’t agree. I can tell by the way she sticks her finger in her wide open mouth every time she hears the theme music.

For Stunz blog I'm Tommy and I’m interested in the way inventive minds work.

Tommy, don't miss it.

This time of year is incredible. It’s the time to remember the culmination of our faith and belief. If Easter has no meaning then I am, as Paul said “above all men, most to be pitied.”

Being the Discipleship Pastor at Brazos Pointe Fellowship is the best job in the world for me. God created me for this. But sometimes I get so caught up in the details that I blow right past the reason I have hope.

During this Easter season we have been planning for this weekend. It is going to be a great Saturday / Sunday experience and you don’t want to miss it. But, in the planning of the details of the day I almost missed the meaning of the day itself.

Jesus paid the highest price to buy me back because he loves me. He died a shameful death, so that I could have the life that I have now. And now he is alive and living inside of me. Christ in me, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27)

Today as Ronnie edited a video for the weekend service I watched and heard Jesus say, “Tommy I love you”. As people in a refinery in Texas City experienced a tragic explosion I heard Jesus say, “In the middle of tragedy, I am hope!” As I listened to the prayer request of a friend I heard Jesus say, "Because of Easter, you can pray."

Simple concepts yet so profound.

God help me. I don’t want to miss the proverbial forest as I stare so closely at the bark on the tree.

Sell the SUV!

The price of gasoline broke two dollars a gallon. Wow! It’s time to add money to the gas section of the budget envelope and ride my bike more often.

Live ... right now!

I found a blog today called visual-voice and it is just that - very visual and well spoken.

Lately I’ve thought quite a bit about change. Being on staff at BPF we talk often about and experience change. Click here for the latest (link). I heard someone say that the reason people normally do not progress is not because they have no desire; but because they are too scared to step into the tension of change. This quote from visual-voice on March 4 made me think:

The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.

Marcel Pagnol

Marcel, whoever he is, nailed it. Yesterday was great, but I can’t live there any more. Today is all I have to live and I have to live this moment to the hilt. And tomorrow will be what God allows so I will press hard toward the potential tomorrow’s change will bring.

"Until now only the children have been able to overcome what took place, because they have no past - for them, everything that matters is the present moment. So we shall try to act as they do."

Paulo Coelho (The Fifth Mountain)

The Magic of U2

Tonight I was watching VH1 while I was waiting for Jakeb to get home from the rodeo. They were showing the induction ceremony for U2 into the rock and roll hall of fame.

As I sat and listened to U2 play, all I could think about was how much a part of me some of their songs are. I have always really enjoyed music but there is some music that goes beyond rhythms, sounds, words, and frequency. Some music touches you deep inside of who you are and that’s what some of U2’s music has been for me.

The Edge spoke and here’s some of what he said (not an exact quote):

It’s so hard to keep things fresh and not become a parody of yourself…. Often we take ourselves way too seriously. You can break it down and study it, but you cannot just dial it up. We know it’s magic.

Magic indeed.

New Gulf and the Universe

The town stunk to high heaven. Often it smelled like someone had bad gas in a small room without ventilation. Sometimes you could smell New Gulf long before you could see it. And part of the town was visible from quite a distance.

On the car ride from home in Clute our family played a game. Who would be the first to see the smoke stacks? The smoke stacks were part of the sulfur company; the reason for the town’s bad smell. My brother would yell from the back seat “I see the smoke stacks!” when we were still miles away. He must have been fibbing.

The best thing about New Gulf was my grandma and grandpa were there. They lived in a white company house like just about everyone else in town. My grandpa worked for the sulfur company. And my grandma baked all kinds of goodies. She baked wedding cakes, birthday cakes, cakes for parties, jelly rolls and donuts. She was called the donut lady because every Thursday she would make donuts and everyone in town would come by and purchase some. I am amazed that my grandma was diabetic and never was able to taste her sweet creations. I am a product of my grandmother’s baking – I love to lick the bowl.

For me, my brother and my cousin, New Gulf offered a world of freedom and was a wonderland for three boys. The front yard of the house had a cedar tree and the side had a chinaberry tree. They were great lookouts for a game of cowboys and indians.

There was a golf course to roam free on. When it rained hard we swam in the golf course’s ditches. We played dominos in the club house with the old man who ran the place. At night we walked with my grandpa and his dog listening to his funny stories and picking up golf balls left behind by hackers. I think the reason I took up golf for a while as an adult is because it reminded me of my childhood.

A general store was just a street away where we traded old coke bottles for money to buy candy. Reese's were best.

There were train tracks with dewberry bushes growing beside them. In the spring grandma sent us out with a five gallon bucket and a stick (for the snakes) to pick berries for a cobbler.

Beside the rail road tracks were smooth round brown rocks. When the rocks were thrown against the metal tracks and broken, the inside of the rock was shiny and hard and had deep dark colors.

One day my brother, my cousin and I were breaking rocks on the tracks to see what was inside. I found a rock the size of a baked potato and threw in hard against the metal tracks. It took a couple of throws to make it break. It broke smoothly the length of the rock and we were amazed by the beauty inside. The inside of the rock was a shinny black color with flecks of white throughout. It looked like a picture of outer space – at least the outer space we knew about from watching Star Trek reruns. Every time I spend any time looking at the stars I think about God. I think that’s why the stars are there. They exist so that I can understand that the universe is so much bigger than me. When I looked at that rock I thought of God. When I think about that rock today, I think of God. That day in the small town of New Gulf, God fit the universe inside of a rock for three boys to see.

I look up at your macro-skies,

dark and enormous,

your handmade sky-jewelry,

Moon and stars mounted in their settings.

Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,

Why do you bother with us?

Why take a second look our way?

Psalm 8:3-4

One Phun Physically Demanding Day

Yesterday was an exhausting day, in a great way. It was a day full of physically demanding fun. My calves are screaming at me because of it.

First Andrea and I got up at 5 am picked up Dedee and went to Houston to run a 10k. I finished it stronger than I though I would. Andrea and Dedee finished it better than they expected too. I saw EQ there and he finished it in 44:31. Blazing!

Then we went to our niece’s birthday party. It was a fun and windy experience.

To top off the day we had a birthday party for our son Jakeb. The party was at AllStar Sports in Clute. AllStar Sports has the best pizza and calzone in Brazosport, a fact I wasn’t aware of until last night. Not only do they serve pizza, they have an indoor soccer field.

We didn’t play soccer; we played dodgeball. It was an incredible amount of fun. We played a game of kids against adults. It was a kick to run around like I was in school again with Kirk and Paul as teammates. Our wives wouldn’t play. We had so much fun I think I’d like to have my birthday party there.

Happy Birthday Jakeb! You’re a great kid! Thanks for having a birthday party where your dad could be a kid again. Now I think I need some pain relievers … ouch.

The other Hintze is blogging

There's a new blogger in the blogshpere. No... not Jackson.

Jenny is blogging and it should be really interesting - she says so herself. Go here --->(link) and check it out.

Never poor

Last night Andrea and I watched a story about a lady who is covering entertainment news for CNN. When she was a kid she had nomadic parents who lived any place that would provide shelter. They lived in their car, in card board boxes, and in run-down shacks. Their home was without running water and electricity because they couldn’t pay the bills. She tells of how she and her brother picked up coal from the side of the road to heat their house and scavenged food from the school trash cans. What’s amazing to me is she says she didn't have any sense that her family was poor. She felt that she was living a normal life.

I’ve heard other people say things similar. People who’ve live through the depression who knew life was hard but they never considered themselves poor.

My grandmother lived on a small amount of social security and was astounded to hear on the news that her income was below the poverty line. She was such a model of generosity even though she had very little.

Stories like these have so much to say to me about my level of contentment and the beast inside of me that always demands more.

T.S. Eliot

Yesterday I talked about fear of failure. Usually I find good stuff related to what I preach after I’ve already preached it. I don’t know if it would have fit or where I would have used it, but this quote by T.S Eliot struck me:

"... only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go."

Running is bad for you ...

I’m a runner. It’s amazing to me how many people who don’t run or even exercise, lecture me about how bad running is for me. Usually I just smile politely and let them talk, but I’m working on my comebacks.

Some of these I found on coolrunning and some are my own …

Them: running is bad for your knees.
Me: Having 50 extra pound on your body to carry around everyday is worse for your knees. I wonder how many people have heart attacks trying to save their knees. Besides, that’s why I don’t drive my car … it’s bad for the tires.

Them: Running causes arthritis and some day your going to need hip replacement.
Me: I’d rather have my hip replaced that to have congestive heart failure and need a heart replacement.

Them (to women): Running makes your uterus fall out.
Me: Good thing I’m a guy and don’t have to respond.

Them: Your lungs will freeze if you run in the cold.
Me: Dude, that’s why I live in Texas!

Them: Running detaches your retinas.
Me: Yeah, and chewing gum takes seven years to digest when you swallow it … give me a break.

Okay, those responses all sound a bit angry. Maybe I will just smile politely and let them talk …

I think I'll go out for a run.

Simple Purity

And now I'm afraid that exactly as the Snake seduced Eve with his smooth patter, you are being lured away from the simple purity of your love for Christ.
2 Corinthians 11:3

Simple purity

A strong cup of coffee in the morning

Holding my daughter’s hand as I walk her to school

Silence and a good book

A morning run

To just exist in the same room as my wife

A hot cup of green tea in the afternoon

To watch my daughter lead

A bike ride to work

Seeing my son’s pure love of sports

Sunrise when camping

Beef enchiladas

The feel of water surrounding me as I swim

Knowing every breath is a gift from God

Math Homework

Growing up I found I had an extreme dislike for math; especially in jr. high and high school. Math was a subject that seemed so abstract. It was a subject about numbers that had very little connection with my reality.

Then I graduated from high school and after goofing off for a while I went to a technical college. I studied instrumentation with a heavy emphasis on electronics. All of my math classes had a direct correlation to my field of study so most of the math problems I solved related to electronics. This opened an incredible world to me and I started digging math. Math was no longer just numbers on a page but it had a solid relation to something I could observe. After tech school I went to work in my field of study and math was a fun part of my job.

Tonight my son Jakeb brought home a math paper where he had to find the surface area, circumference and volume of different geometrical shapes. I know now that math has relevance but I thought I was finished with math homework when I got out of school. Not only did I have to refresh my memory about how to do geometry (pi d? "no, that's circumference." or pi r-square times length? "Yeah, that's volume of a cylinder." ), I also had to convince Jake I knew what I was talking about.

And when it comes down to it, I really don’t care how many times a lawn roller with a diameter of 9 inches will rotate across a 40-foot lawn.

Les Miz

Last year Andrea read Les Miserables and loved the story. Then for Christmas I bought her the movie – well actually she ordered the movie from Amazon (along with Luther for me) and it found it’s way into her stocking. Imagination is so much more powerful than what a movie maker can do with images. I like to see movies that have been made from the books I’ve read but most of the time I’m not impressed. In Andrea’s case she was disappointed with the film because it didn’t meet up to the standards of the movie her imagination played in her mind as she read the book. Add to that the fact the movie makers took some liberties with the story.

In January we found out that Les Miserables the musical was going to be at the Hobby Center in Houston so I bought tickets for Andrea and me and gave them to her on Valentine’s Day. Last night we attended the performance and before we got there we were worried that the musical would deviate from the story enough to be as disappointing as the movie, but Andrea was pleased because it followed the book as well as a three hour musical can. I was not ready for the fact that they sang almost every word. There were only two or three spoken sentences. I guess that’s why they call it a musical. Overall Andrea and I enjoyed the experience.

During intermission I visited the rest room and on the way out ran into my good friend Scott. He said “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Like he was surprised that I was at an event reserved for people more “cultured” than myself. This from a guy who likes to duck hunt, graduated from Texas A&M and thinks an evening of fine entertainment includes a round of Texas hold em. How random is it that Scott and I would see each other among thousands of other people at the Hobby Center?

Even though I'm giving him a hard time, it was actually Scott who talked about Les Miserables enough to get Andrea interested in buying the book in the first place. I guess there is some culture in us all.

Spirituality and Celibacy

Since I know my mom reads my blog occasionally – “Mom you can skip this post …”

I was on an information gathering mission today and while surfing for a specific subject for an upcoming Sunday message I found myself here – on a web site devoted to assisting young people as they try to decide if full time vocational ministry in the Catholic Church is right for them.

Besides the fact that I am disqualified, I have no desire to be a priest or monk. But I found the evaluation tools on the web site interesting and I took some of the tests.

Based on one of the test my spirituality type is the PATH OF INTELLECT (Thomistic prayer). The web site says, “People of this prayer type prefer neat, orderly forms of the spiritual life, as opposed to the free-spirit, impulsive attitude of the Franciscan approach.”

I think they nailed me there.

Then I took the “Celibacy Quiz” and I got a pop-up that says “Your answers indicate that you have the capacity to live a celibate life well, but some issues might need to be resolved before making a full commitment”. HA!

I may have the capacity, but for me the dynamics of marriage and learning to exist with another person in life has helped my spiritual growth more than celibacy could. BTW - I believe marriage is the only context in which a person should choose not to be celibate.

Be careful with your comments ... your mom might be reading too.

Feeding my soul

I am good at feeding my body. I can eat and I do it everyday – sometimes too much. I am good at feeding my mind. I enjoy a good book or a good movie and to engage either is very satisfying.

I know how to satisfy my body and my mind but sometimes I neglect to feed my soul. Yesterday our student minister Mary Margaret went on a one day spiritual retreat. Talking to her today reminded me of my own spiritual retreat a couple of months ago. It is a day set aside to be alone and quiet before God. To some of you it sounds mystical but it’s not. It can become quite normal.

For my day alone with God I went to Ruah retreat center at Villa De Matel. That’s where MM went yesterday too. It is a place that is dedicated to silence and solitude where a person can connect to God. The day I spent there was incredible. To try to describe it is futile. Have you ever tried to describe a spiritual experience you’ve had to someone else and they just stare at you with their head leaning to one side like a puppy that just chewed your mail and is wondering why you’re so worked up?

After I left Ruah I committed to myself and to God to take my experience at Ruah home with me and spend some quality time in the presence of God as a normal part of my everyday life. What’s the difference between this spiritual retreat and a quiet time? Well they are similar, the difference is that my quiet time has become so much about productivity and knowledge gain that it is no longer about building my relationship with God. I feel like God is saying to me, “Tommy rest in me. Be quiet. Stop trying to be productive and really know me in the most intimate way. Feed your soul with me. Stop with the busyness of life and the things you see as “great matters” and be still and quiet your soul.”

I need to add a time of silence and solitude to my days so that I can feed my soul. When you see me next, ask me how I’m doing.

A pilgrim song of David

My heart is not proud, O Lord,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord
both now and forevermore.

Psalm 131

Hugs from a guest

Today my favorite human on the face of the earth (my wife Andrea) is taking over my blog. Enjoy ...
- - - - - - - -

I’m hijacking Tommy’s blog for this post. I’ll be setting up a blog for myself soon but I knew more would read this on Tommy’s and I wanted to get it out there today, being Valentine’s Day. So here goes…

In January, I read one of my favorite quiet time guides, Soul Journey. There was an article on January 15, 2005 called “Compassion of Jesus” by Jennifer Farley. She said, when someone we love dies, we miss them but Jesus does not leave us comfortless.

It got me to thinking a lot about hugs. I’m not a big hugger. I didn’t come from a family with a lot of physical affection so hugging doesn’t always come easy for me. Tommy, on the other hand, well, hugging was a part of his everyday life. It comes very easy for him to show love to our kids and me with a hug.

Hugs can be taken or given. I prefer the hugs that are given. I’m well aware of the hug that someone takes and it’s very hard for me to give back when someone is just taking a hug. But, when it’s given… it’s just to show love to me, I kinda dig that kind of hug. (unless it’s Tommy after running a few miles, yuc!!!)

Hugs make an impression on my heart, on my body, on my mind. I know when a hug is real and out of love, I feel the arms make an impression on my physical body and I remember how it feels in my mind to have someone I love hug me.

Make today a day of hugs… Make sure you give enough hugs to your loved ones to last a lifetime and beyond. Make sure you give them more tomorrow and the next and the next so they’ll be able to remember how it feels to have your arms wrapped around them even when you’re not around.

So, if you’re like me and hugs don’t come naturally, take this advice that I got long ago. “If you hug someone 3000 times, it starts becoming more natural.” Just do it! Give hugs, don’t take them. Give them away freely and with lots and lots of love and squeeze so tight the person you are hugging will not ever be able to forget what it feels like.

If you don’t get the privilege of a hug today from a physical person that you love, I pray you can feel God’s arms wrap around you. He hugs us all the time, we just may not notice. In the words of Jennifer Farley, “Jesus said, “I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you” (John 14:18). His heart goes out to us—how comforting that is! Anytime we’re hurting, Jesus has compassion on us. He’ll comfort us, as we reach out to Him.” Reach your arms out to Jesus, and he’ll hug you back!

On the “love day”, Valentine’s Day, I plan on hugging my family so much that they won’t forget what it feels like to get a hug from their mom and wife. Don’t worry, I won’t hug everyone – and I really don’t want everyone to hug me!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!! Tell someone you love them and GIVE them a hug!

Is your passion hot?

Andrea and I went with some friends to Fellowship of the Woodlands on Saturday night to see if we could gain some insight for Brazos Pointe Fellowship's Saturday Night service that will start on Easter weekend.

After the service Andrea and I wanted something to munch on and a drink. We were standing in line to pay for the stuff we were going to consume and the lady behind the counter asked me, “Is your passion hot?” I paused for a second and told Andrea, “She just asked me if my passion was hot. What nerve.”

Very uncharacteristically, Andrea just laughed and then she turned to her friend Dedee and said, “Hey the lady behind the counter asked Tommy if his passion was hot.” And Dedee laughed too.

Wow. No one cares that the lady was asking me such a question.

It really didn’t matter because we were at Starbucks and I had ordered myself a Zen green tea and I ordered Andrea a Passion tea. Apparently Passion tea comes iced or hot and the lady was asking me if I wanted it cold or hot. Therefore “Is your passion hot?” is a perfectly appropriate question.

Context is everything.

Believe in yourself

This morning I got a newsletter where Rick Warren said “Each Sunday, church pews are filled with members who are doing nothing with their faith except "keeping" it.” It made me ask myself “Am I just “keeping” my faith or am I doing something with it?”

I believe the reason I don’t take risks and step out into unknown territory is because I believe God is perfectly capable of doing everything that needs to get done in the world without me. Besides why take the risk when I am a nobody? The media tells me I’m too short and I’m too tall, and my hair is the wrong color (blondes have more fun) and I need to go to the hair club for men; I’m too skinny and I’m too fat, and my skin is blemished and my car is a piece of junk and I am not worth anything …

Fear keeps me from being me. God created me and you to be exactly who we are and there is nothing wrong with me and there’s nothing wrong with you. God wants me to be the me He created me to be.

It’s true; God could accomplish everything it takes to make the world everything he wants it to be – the best world possible. But the fact of the matter is God has decided to use me and you to accomplish that purpose - because God believes in me.

So believe in God; and believe in yourself … God does.

If your back is pinned against the wall
And the stress is killing you
And the cross you carry on your back
Makes it hard for you to move

In yourself
Believe, its all right
In yourself
Believe, you're all right

Doug Pinnick, Ty Tabor, Jerry Gaskill

Cooking for Mickey D's

Tonight Andrea made lettuce wraps ala P.F. Chang’s or a restaurant we like even more Pei Wei. It was good and the kids liked it. Anna our soon to be six year old daughter was eating and Andrea asked her, “Anna do you like it?”

Anna said, “Yeah mom this is really good. You’re a good cook. You should work at McDonalds.”

The ultimate praise a six year old could ever give a cook.

Romance

Read on guys, its not that bad … besides you needed a reminder that Valentine's Day is coming (you can thank me later).



I usually think of romance in terms of the relationship between a man and a woman. Very rarely do I think of romance in a spiritual sense and would not normally combine the ideas of romance and God - except maybe in thinking about the Song of Solomon. I know God created the marriage relationship between a man and a woman and I know to have a good marriage God has to be in the middle of it. But when it comes to romance, I just assumed He said, “Okay now, figure it out because I’m God and romance is a “humanity” thing”.

Today I was reading Epic by John Eldredge and he introduced a thought that made me stop reading and think. Here it is:

Creation unfolds like a great work of art, a masterpiece in the making. And just as you can learn about an author by the stories he tells, you can learn about a great deal about an artist from the works he creates. Surely you see that God is more creative than we can possibly imagine, and romantic to the core.
(pg 46)

Wow … look at creation and see the romance of God. God is "romantic to the core" and my example for how romance fits into life and is shown to Andrea. To be romantic I have to be creative like God is creative. What a concept. Now I know why I’ve sometimes fallen short when it comes to romance. I’ve settled for less than perfect examples of what romance looks like. hmmm …

Everybody Loves Raymond and good art ... in the same sentence.

Tonight Everybody Loves Raymond made me laugh – uncomfortably. The reason shows like Everybody Loves Raymond are so funny and unsettling at the same time is because I can relate. I see myself in the characters and sometimes I don’t like what I see – so I laugh. And sometimes it's just witty so I laugh.

Good art does to all of us what Everybody Loves Raymond does to me. It causes us to look within ourselves and the world that exists around us. Sometimes I like what I see; sometimes it is quite unsettling; and sometimes it even touches the soul.

Risk

I don’t mind taking risks … sometimes. Stepping through the tension of change makes me grow so I like the risk associated with change.

But do you know what’s hard? Watching the people around me, who are closest to me, who I love, take a risk. It’s not easy to watch.

This weekend our son Jakeb tried out for baseball. Which would not normally be a big deal, but he’s is about to be twelve years old and he’s never played organized baseball. Everything athletic comes naturally to Jakeb so I shouldn’t have been worried. I was more nervous than he was though. He ended up doing fine.

At the same time Jakeb was trying out for baseball our daughter Tori was at solo and ensemble playing an oboe piece accompanied on the piano by her mom. Because both she and Andrea were stepping out there and taking a risk I was nervous for them both. And they both did fine. Tori got a one (which is excellent).

Tonight our daughter Anna will sing in a talent show for her elementary school. Again I find myself nervous because she is stepping out into the tension of change and taking a risk. I know she’ll do fine too, but as a dad it’s easy to worry.

Way too many times as a parent I want to protect my kids from risk and change because risk comes with two outcomes – success and failure. To think of my kids failing at anything makes my stomach turn. But I know risk, whether there is success or opportunity for improvement, makes my kids better. So kids, step out there and give it a shot – your dad is behind you; supporting you; and trying like crazy not to worry about you; knowing that you will do just fine.

News from Asia

Greg, our pastor, is on a mission trip to Asia. It's interesting to read about what's happening while they're there instead of waiting to hear about it when they get back. You can read more here ...> link

American Idol

I’m not a huge American Idol fan. I think it’s because I can’t stand to watch people fail and each week on American Idol people fail – well at least one of them does. The rest of my family really likes to watch. For them maybe it’s about the success of those who don’t fail and move on in the show. You’ll have to talk to them about their motive for watching.

Last night we watched the very beginning of the American Idol process where thousands of people get in front of the American Idol judges and sing. Some of them know they are bad and they try to be as outrageous as possible just to get on TV. Others are really good and I can see why they feel they have a chance at being on the show. But some who try to sing are truly delusional. Their voices are horrible and they believe they can sing well. Watching them and the judge’s response made me laugh until my stomach hurt.

Something about American Idol bothers me. It makes me take a look at myself and ask, “What am I delusional about? Where am I making a fool of myself? Do I think I do something well that everyone around me thinks I do horribly?” Do people say to each other “can you believe he’s doing that?” Ignorance is bliss so maybe I don’t want to know. Then again maybe I do.

With that said, I’m kinda scared of the comments on this post ….

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! Proverbs 15:23 (NLT)

Fear

I don’t fear many things. It’s just not in me to be scared of stuff. I’m not normally anxious about change or risk. I just feel like God is in control and I should run hard toward life and deal with it as it comes. I don’t worry too much about what other people think of me either.

Notice though that I wrote “I don’t fear many things”. There are some things that make me lay awake at night and stare at the ceiling. One of those is the fear of not being able to provide for my family. Its part of my life I have had a hard time giving to God and saying “Take it, do what you want and I won’t ever ask for it back.” I’m getting better with that one though.

In the last couple of years I’ve developed a new fear. I fear standing up in front of people to preach and not having anything to say. I’m not talking about the fear of public speaking, in fact I feel really comfortable in front of people when I know I’m saying what God wants me to say. It’s just in the process of preparing I shudder at the thought of standing up and mocking God and wasting the time of everyone listening with useless information. I think it is a healthy fear though as long as it doesn’t take over. In fact if I ever get nonchalant about teaching I should probably quit.

My child, don't lose sight of good planning and insight. Hang on to them, for they fill you with life and bring you honor and respect. They keep you safe on your way and keep your feet from stumbling. You can lie down without fear and enjoy pleasant dreams. You need not be afraid of disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the Lord is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.

Proverbs 3:21-26

What do you fear?

My First Marathon

Check.

Today I ran a marathon … something I said I wanted to check off of my list of things to do and today I did it. It was a good day start to finish.

At the starting line of the marathon a guy with the words "Woot!Woot!" on the front of his shirt stood next to me. I don't know what the sign on his shirt was all about but he looked over and asked, “What’s your goal time?”

I said, “I’d like to run about 4 hours and 30 minutes but my main goal is to finish. If I do that I’ll be happy.” So I asked him “What’s your goal time.”

He said, “I don’t have a goal time. I trained with a friend to try to help him finish his first marathon and he bailed on me. So I'm running for fun and to finish.”

So I asked, “How many marathons have you run?”

He said, “This will be my third. What about you?”

I said, “This is my first.”

To which he replied, “Once you cross that finish line today your life will never be the same.”

It took me aback that he would say that. I never assumed that finishing a marathon would change my life. Giving my life to God, getting married and having kids have changed my life because they changed my priorities and reoriented the way I live. Somehow I don’t think finishing a marathon will do the same, but I will be able to say that I’ve done something through discipline and effort that few other people would even think to attempt.

A couple of people helped me today. First Andrea went with me and she provided support for me on the course. She met me a couple of places and gave me Power Gel and Ibuprofen when I needed it. It was a boost to my running to see someone who loves me cheer me on and tell me I could make it. I could not do life without Andrea and I would not have wanted to run my first marathon without her either.

Also I saw Edwin and Jenny on the half-marathon course. Both of them said something to the effect of “Go Tommy!” I missed seeing Jenny’s husband Wes but he sent me an email today and said “Way to go.” Wes, Jenny and Jenny's dad finished the half-marathon together which is way cool.

My friend Mark parked his car downtown and ran 6 miles back to the 20 mile mark and “ran me in” from 20. At about the 24 ½ mile mark he saw a friend who was struggling and since I was doing okay he let me go ahead and helped her make it to the finish line.

And then after the marathon was over we got to my parent's house and mom, dad, Tori, Jakeb, and Anna had bought me a cake that said "Congratulations Tommy!" I've got good kids and parents.

I know quite a few of you prayed for me.

Thanks everybody!

I finished in 4:13:12 chip time (from starting line to finish line). I ran 4:16:51 clock time (from starting gun to finish). If you wonder what the difference is you’ll have to ask me sometime.

It was a good day. The results were beyond my expectations. I may just have to try it again sometime.

It takes a village

And another thing …

Running a marathon is a family thing. I could not have trained for a marathon without the support of Andrea, Tori, Jakeb and Anna. “Hey, let’s get in bed; I’ve got a 12 miler in the morning.” So thanks y’all.

I also have had a huge amount of encouragement from those who run and know how much work it takes to get to the starting line. So thanks Edwin, Wes, Jenny, Brent, Jim, Mary Margaret, Nathan, and others (I’m sure I forgot to mention 12 people here) who have asked how the training is going, and have encouraged me to run on.

No matter what happens Sunday I appreciate the help!

Taper week

This has been a weird week. It’s the week before my first marathon so I’m not running as much as normal to allow my body to rest. This morning I ran two miles. I haven’t run as little as two miles since I started marathon training. When the run was over I felt like I was just warming up. I rode my bike to work this morning like I do most days. Even with the two miles and the bike ride I am having trouble sitting still in my chair at work. I have too much nervous energy.

One of the other reasons I enjoy running is that it allows me to eat well and still maintain a reasonable weight. I could never go on a low-carb diet because I LOVE bread, potatoes, rice, cereal and pasta. This week has been heaven because my diet has consisted of those things. People say that you cannot maintain proper weight by eating a high carb diet, but this week I have eaten more carbs than normal to fuel my body, I have run less and I’ve actually dropped a couple of pounds. I think the reason though is because all of the Christmas sweets have disappeared from the house and I’ve pretty much cut out dessert foods all together.

In three days I’m going to attempt to run 26 miles, 385 yards. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. Pray for me when you think about it.

A Quiet Life

Our small group is studying the book of 1 Thessalonians. As we study it we have been encouraged to read through the book a couple of times to get a good feel for it. I’ve done that and I have only had one verse really stick out to me so far. In fact it puzzles me and I keep asking myself, “What am I supposed to do with this?” It was written to a specific group of people – the Thessalonian church, for a specific purpose.

Here it is:

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

I am a social introvert who is not very good at small talk. I enjoy good conversation with those whom I’m close but have a hard time having surface level conversations with those I barely know. A passage like this from the Bible is easy to use as justification for remaining the person I am and refusing to stretch myself. I don’t think that’s the point.

These verses though, remind me of my parents. They live a quiet life, which is something they enjoy. They mind their own business. I know that it is easy for parents to desire to give their kids unsolicited advice after they’re married, but my parents have always been good about letting Andrea and me work through stuff. My dad is a mechanic and my mom loves to work in the yard so they both work with their hands. Outsiders respect them and they are very independent. I’ve got great parents! They live this verse. By the way, today is my mom’s birthday. Happy Birthday Mom!

Tsunami Disaster

67,000 people dead in Asia ... and those who search and rescue and not even close to being done. The count is sure to rise. I cannot even wrap my mind around something as devastating as that.

It's so easy to be indifferent because this tragedy affects people on the other side of the world. Until a couple of days ago I would have butchered the definition of tsunami on a multiple choice test.

I was watching CNN a on Monday and they had a clip of a dad carrying his young son who had died in the tragedy. All I could do was hug my daughter ...

Coffee in a car … literally.

Last week I stopped at Starbucks on the way home from Houston. I really enjoy good strong coffee and for reasons not relevant to this post, on that day I hadn’t had my normal caffeine consumption quota. So I was really looking forward to a strong cup of Christmas blend.

It kinda ticks me off that during the holidays, all Starbucks brews for “coffee of the day” is Christmas blend. At least during the other 10 ½ months there is a variety. Sumatra is my all time favorite “coffee of the day” and it is the least often served. I should quit whining and buy myself a pound of Sumatra and just brew it at home.

But on this day I braved the traffic in Pearland and made it to the Starbucks on 518. It was super crowded with holiday shoppers and after standing in line for a while listening to people order half caf non-fat frapawhippedcreame non-coffee dessert drinks; I ordered a cup of Christmas Blend and a oatmeal cranberry mountain bar for me and ordered a Chai Latte to take home to Andrea. The coffee smelled really good and I couldn’t wait to get on the road and take a drink. I was having one of those massive cravings that intensified the closer I got to moving beyond the smell and onto the consummation of tasting the strong coffee.

I pulled out of the shopping center and got behind a lady at the red light who was in her convertible with the top down screaming at the top of her lungs at every driver who was, in her estimation, an idiot for being in her way. She was one of those “as a matter of fact I do own the road” kinds of people. I thought it was funny enough to watch for a while. I was holding my cup of coffee in my free hand and due to the distraction hadn’t taken a drink. I decided I should set it down until I could get on the highway so that it wouldn’t be such a distraction. As I set my cup down I was watching the lady who was still screaming at people using words a discipleship pastor cannot type into his blog, and I missed the cup holder by a mere fraction of an inch and dumped the whole cup of black coffee all over the front seat of my car and my blue jeans and a book I had on the floorboard and on a business card notebook – it was everywhere.

I was not a happy camper. I was already behind schedule and out of pocket change. I was in traffic and was not about to go back and brave the line at Starbucks. All I could do was drive home and eat my oatmeal cranberry mountain bar and sniff the smell of heaven in a cup … well … not in a cup anymore. Now it was heaven all over my floorboard.

Sometimes what I want the most seems in my grasp, but my clumsiness and fascination with the irrelevant details around me puts it out of reach. Maybe I didn’t need that cup of coffee anyway. Some parts of some days stink, even when they smell like coffee. At least Andrea enjoyed the Chai.

20 miles

I ran 20 miles yesterday morning. It was cold, it was ugly, it was brutal, but I made it. Hopefully at the end of the day on January 16, 2005 I will be able to say the last three words of that sentence.

The 20 miler was the longest run on this marathon training program. One of my goals for marathon training was to at least make it to the starting line and barring some freak accident I'll make it, so I am happy. Now all that is left is a three week taper, and to run and finish the race. I have no other goal. No time goal, no one to try to beat except my mind.

Snow?

Snow in Lake Jackson Texas on Christmas morning ... how strange is that?

This will be a Christmas my kids will never forget.

I'll be back ...

Someone emailed me yesterday and asked "have you quit blogging?" Which surprised me that they noticed. But no I haven't retired from blogging forever. It's just that blogging has been a low priority in the list of priorities and there hasn't been much in my head worth blogging about anyway (not that there ever is).

Like Arnold though, "I'll be back." (Read with an Austrian accent)

The Lost Art of Living

the cross neither jewelry nor icon nor charm
the cross held a lover who died in my arms
under the weight of the hammer I held
the space between heaven and everything
spanned
and the lost art of living was found again
when the cross became loving and Christ became friend

- ben pasley

Sports?

The sports world has gone crazy. The dramas are overshadowing the games and it makes all of it almost unwatchable - from fights with the fans to steroid use.

I’m amazed. Mainly I’m amazed that people are surprised at the recent news that confirms some athletes have used steroids. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, but it takes a lot to surprise or shock me anymore. Haven’t we all had this sneaking suspicion that the sports records that are broken lately are broken with the help of chemicals?

Check out this article about the Balco founder --> Link

Well it’s off to a minor league hockey game.... Go Aeros!

Teaching Big and Teaching Small

I’ve thought quite a bit lately about what it means to be a teacher. I have always enjoyed teaching, but most of my teaching experience is in a small group setting. It hasn’t been until recently that I have taught in front of a large group of people with a more formal delivery style. What I do in on Sunday mornings is very different than what I do in a Home Team (small group) at Brazos Pointe Fellowship. In a small group I am more a part of the learning experience rather than driving the learning experience – I am just a participant in the conversation.

Maggi Dawn is an Anglican priest and Chaplin at King’s College Cambridge in England and she teaches in the college context. Here’s what she says about teaching in a large group setting:

“In a lecture you stand six feet above contradiction (or down in the safety of the auditorium stage); you are in control of the material, you prepare beforehand, you say what you have to say and no-one gets to ask you anything.”

Sometimes that’s what Sunday morning feels like … “six feet above contradiction”. And that is why I like teaching in a small group setting as much as a large group and sometimes more. Listen again to Maggie Dawn this time about the small group setting:

“…you talk for a while, and then other people pile in. They discuss … They ask questions that range far and wide; great questions that would take twenty minutes to address properly, or sometimes aggressive questions based on an adverse reaction to a text. In a class(small group), the teacher is just as likely (perhaps more likely even) to learn something new than the students.”

To be in a small group is to engage with fellow travelers in this journey of life as a follower of Jesus; it's to understand others and be understood. It's to engage other Christians so that you can more readily engage the world around you.

Teaching teaches me and that’s why I like to teach. But my hope for those of you who listen is that you would engage as a fellow learner, and if you ever think “I don’t know if I agree with Tommy”, then nail me with it. I may not come around to your way of thinking but I would love to have the conversation.

Again from Maggie Dawn’s blog; she quotes someone named Joseph Joubert:

"To teach is to learn twice."

“Those who never retract their opinions love themselves more than they love the truth.”

For more from Maggie Dawn click here -> link

Oh, Christmas Tree

We went as a family and picked out a skinny Christmas tree tonight. It was an all time record short time. Jakeb grabbed a tree and said “How about this one?” And we all said, “looks good”. The Stunz family agreed on something, quickly, from the beginning (a first).

Then we got home and things changed. Tori and Jakeb got into an argument about the lights on the tree. Tori thought the tree should have all white lights, Jakeb thought the lights should be colorful. His position was that colorful lights are better for when you wake up in the morning and turn them on (Jakeb still has a sense of wonder and awe at Christmas). Tori thought all white lights would be “cool”. So we had a family vote. Jakeb rallied the troops and he, Anna and I formed an alliance and voted Tori off of the island…. Okay not really, she’s still on the island but the Christmas tree has colorful lights on it.

Have a Heart

Caution: running post ahead. If you are sick of reading about my running you can skip this next post.

At the beginning of last year I read John “the penguin” Bingham and Jenny Hadfield’s book Marathoning for Mortals. In it they said that most people, given the correct training, have the physical ability to run a marathon (26.2 miles). The reason most people don’t run one is because they don’t have the heart for it.



This morning I was perfectly physically capable of running the eight miles my training schedule called for but my heart wasn’t into it. I got out anyway and when I was finished I was glad I ran.

I’ve sung this same tune here before, but today it got me to thinking about choices in life in general. Running is such a mental pursuit, just like life. If I could just make up my mind that I will do the hard thing and make the best choice rather than taking the easy way out and choosing the thing that will destroy me.

"Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, that you and your descendants might live!”
Deuteronomy 30:19

I have the capacity to make the right choice; sometimes I don’t have the heart for it.