Things I'd like to do before I die ...

Last year I listened to Robert Lewis preach a message about prayerfully making a list of things you’d like to do before you die and then having that list be your “North Star”; kind of a guide for life. I’ve never been a “write your goals down and follow them” kind of guy. For some reason that seems too rigid for me. But Robert Lewis’ list has an element of dreaming that connects with me. It’s not so pragmatic as the list that the goal setters say I should be making.

Robert Lewis says I should finish the following statements. Before I die, I want to:
Be…
Do…
Have …
Help …
Enjoy …
Leave …

Although I never got around to being as specific as Robert Lewis I think I’ve always had a list. Here are just a few, some which I have already done. None of which are in any specific order.

Before I die I want to …
… go into the ministry.
… learn to be a craftsman, who makes beautiful intricate wooden things.
… see the Himalayas (specifically Mt. Everest – although I have no interest in risking my life to get to the top).
… grow old with Andrea (and show her more love then than I ever have).
… watch my kids grow up to own their own faith.
... learn to play a guitar well.
… to run a marathon.

And there’s more.

That last one I think is on my radar to accomplish next. This morning I ran 12 miles. I have not been telling people that I am training for a marathon BUT I have been following Hal Higdon’s marathon training program for novices. I promised myself that if I got to the 12-mile long run I would let other people in on it. Not to impress lil billy or anyone else. Not to make myself look good, but mainly so I have accountability. Now there is no backing down.



I have trained for two marathons but never made it to the starting line. But this time I am determined to finish my first marathon. The marathon is the HP Houston Marathon on January 16th, 2005 (hey Kirk, I'd like that Sunday off?) I have no time goal, I just want to RUN 26.2 miles. EQ has inspired me. Pray for him as he runs the NYC next Sunday.

Then it’s on to the next “Before I die I want to …” on my list.

Fine Dining

Yesterday I took Andrea to a fine restaurant for lunch. Mondays are our day off and we like to spend the day doing what ever we do together. It’s one of the ways we try to stay connected.

We like to dine at this restaurant on some of those Mondays. The reason we go has more to do with the company than the food although the food’s not too bad. This restaurant is in an older building with long benches for the patrons to sit on as they eat. Everyone there is really friendly – even playful. You pick up your food buffet style in a line and there are “servers” who walk up and down the isles with ketchup bottles for the “guests”, should they need some. Most of the people who eat there are a whole lot shorter than me but I don’t mind. Most of them don’t eat much either, they spend their 30 minute lunch socializing with those around them.

The name of the restaurant? – A .P. Beutel Elementary cafeteria. Andrea and I ate lunch with our five year old daughter Anna. Sitting on the small cafeteria tables brings back a flood of memories from childhood. Sometimes I wish I could go back to being 5 years old in kindergarten but sometimes you couldn’t offer me enough to go back to the beginning of a journey that has brought me where I am today.

When I think about it, I am at a good place in life. Even though there are pressures in being an adult, I’ve worked through a lot of life to get where I am now. Other than fond memories I think it’s okay that on a bunch of different levels I’ve left childhood behind. I also think it’s okay that on other levels I am still a child at heart.

Making Marbles Boards

Saturday Andrea and I spent the day making marbles boards. Marbles is a homemade board game that is played with marbles and cards and involves strategy and a ruthless lack of mercy. It is usually played in teams with guys against girls.

I enjoy working on marbles boards. I wouldn’t want to do it everyday but it is fun to lose yourself while working with a piece of wood. Making marbles boards is far from fine craftsmanship but it does allow me to cut, sand and route wood and feel like I could build fine furniture if I took the time to learn and just bought a few more tools ($$).

Life holds so much I’d like to do and experience but for now the focus of my life has to be more narrow than those things. And I’m okay with that.

Astros and homework

The Astros lost.

That’s not big news to most of you because you already know it. It is amazing to me how the mood of everyone on this side of Texas declined. It’s like we lost a war or a president died or something.

What amazes me more is how many people have become baseball fans. My daughter Tori watched the last two games with great interest. One of her teachers told the class if the Astros go to the World Series there would be no home work. Tori paid attention every strike and ball. She went crazy screaming for joy when the Astros did something worthy of cheering.

Today there will be homework for Tori’s class … But hey! There’s always next year.

Inspired by McManus

I am at Willow Creek this week at a conference called "Communicating in Today's Reality". It is a conference which seeks to help teachers and preachers speak Christianity into the language of the culture. Yesterday I heard Bill Hybels, Ed Young Jr. and Erwin McManus.

I don't know Erwin McManus but Ronnie does. I've read a couple of his books and both had a strong effect on me. Yesterday I listened to his main session and then went to his Q&A breakout session. I don't know that I've ever heard anyone with such a passion not only for God but for life in general. On one of Ronnie's blogs someone accused him of being "new age" and leading people away from Jesus. But having seen him up close - I can't imagine anyone meeting or hearing or reading Erwin McManus and being anything but drawn toward God.

I'm only 1/2 way through the conference, but if it ended now it would have been worth the trip.

Running Pharisee

I ran this morning … in the rain. I’ve said here before, one of the reasons I like to run is because it is a solitary pursuit. I get to be alone and think for thirty minutes or so. That is not completely true though. Every morning I run I see at least a couple of other people. Some running, some walking for exercise, some walking the dog, so I am not all the way alone.

There is this guy who is a runner, I don't know his name. He and I cross paths most mornings. Our training schedules must be similar. As we pass one another we are cordial and say “good morning” and comment on the humidity or lack thereof. Well this morning in the rain he wasn’t out running. No one was out running (or out period) but me.

I felt smug and self-satisfied. I may not run as fast or as far as the guy I pass in the mornings (or I may – who knows?) but I am a far superior runner because I am dedicated. No one can match my runner’s piety. I run in the rain while others shudder in their warm houses. Yea me!

The religious leaders of Jesus’ day, called Pharisees, used to pray daily, “Thank You God that I was not born a gentile, a woman, or a dog.” They were smug and self-satisfied, and felt superior to those with less religious piety. This morning while running I prayed, “Thank you God that I am not a slacker, warming my bed or watching Fox News or ESPN or clicking my mouse in the pre-dawn light. Thank You that I am out running in the rain.”

I am such a Pharisee …

Life without a computer

Around the office today there is a frenzy of backing-up, deleting and finishing work on all kinds of computer files. Tomorrow we are going to start the process of switching over to a new computer system here at the offices of BPF. Instead of having a bunch of stand alone computers connected to a computer network we are going to get a couple of servers to handle files, email, etc.

Not only is there a computer frenzy, there is wailing and weeping and gnashing of teeth. “How can we could possibly have to do without computer for a day or two or three or don’t even tell me it could be four!!??!” The question I’ve been asking myself is, “how did people do ministry before there was a computer?”

Could I possibly preach a message without being able to consult online Bible commentaries and 10 different versions of the Bible in nine different languages? What about my Bible software that helps me see those different versions of the Bible side-by-side? And without the internet I can’t listen to other preachers for research and “google” the text and read every sermon on a specific subject from preachers from the last hundred years until now.

How do we keep up with the folks who come to our church? We couldn’t possibly do it on paper.

How do people order books and curriculum without amazon.com and a credit card? You don’t expect me to talk to someone on the phone do you?

Maybe I don’t need to be fasting from food … maybe I need an electronic fast. One that allows me to do work that doesn’t involve staring at a screen. Maybe I need a fast that allows me to connect with people face-to-face or at least voice-to-voice rather than in a white box with a blinking cursor.

Don’t get me wrong I love technology. I am a technology geek. But sometimes I tire of it as well. Maybe that’s why I will have to do without a computer for a couple of days.

I write my blog posts on a yellow legal pad and key them in from the house or something.

The Great Pumpkin

This morning I ran three miles at 6am. As I ran toward Christ Lutheran Church there were bright lights cutting through the darkness in front of the building and on the ground were lots of something all piled up. As I got closer I realized that they were having a fall pumpkin patch.

The pumpkins are arranged all over the ground where kids can walk up and down aisles to pick one to take home (although there was no one there @ 6am). A light rain was falling and it made the pumpkins shiny. It made me feel like it was fall … except that the humidity was about a thousand percent and it was almost eighty degrees. I was wet as much from sweat as I was from rain.



As I ran on past the “great” pumpkin patch all I could think about was being a kid. It’s funny how this time of year makes everyone want to be a kid again. But I thought about how much the Stunz family liked to watch Charlie Brown movies at a time when cartoons only came on Saturday morning, it was cool to have one on TV at night. I thought about It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. How Linus missed out on trick-or-treating because he was convinced if he stayed in the pumpkin patch he would see The Great Pumpkin. How his self-proclaimed girlfriend Sally would faithfully sit with him, not for a view of a great pumpkin but just to be with Linus. And how Charlie Brown ended up with a ghost costume with too many eye-holes and a rock in his trick-or-treat bag at every house. The best thing about a good story is that you see yourself in at least one of the characters.



It was good to be a kid. Sometimes it still is. And memories like that help a run seem short.

Astro's Fever

The males at the office are coming down with an illness. If it continues to progress it will have us all at home by three o'clock. Laying in front of the TV trying to make it all better.

I'm sure we'll be better tomorrow morning and make it to work ... but this illness will probably reoccur tomorrow at the same time.

cough ... ugh ... cough .....

Simplicity

The world’s been going by fast lately. Have you ever been there?

I read a book by Richard Foster called Celebration of Discipline a couple of years ago. Reading it introduced me to a some disciplines that I have never practiced. The church tradition I grew up in didn’t practice them so they were new to me. Among them were silence, solitude and simplicity. I would love to say that I faithfully practice all three, but sometimes it is hit and miss. All three disciplines have led me deeper in my relationship with God.

Simplicity though, was almost revolutionary for me. Sometimes when I talk about the disciple of simplicity with other people they give me this weird look. A look that says at the very least this guy is crazy at his worst he must be lazy. Simplicity is neither.

Simplicity is about ordering your world around God’s priorities for you. I’ve heard some say, “I wish God would give me more hours in a day.” But think about what that says about God. He hasn’t given me enough time to do everything he wants me to get done.

“We are trapped by a maze of competing attachments.” – Richard Foster

Simplicity is about understanding God’s priorities and the being able to live life with those priorities in mind. That doesn’t mean that the work won’t get hard, but Jesus said that his yoke was easy and his load was light. Jesus had enough time to get done everything in God’s will for his life.

I sound like a preacher … but I say all of that to say. I think I’ve let the discipline of simplicity slip by me lately. I wonder what I’ve tried to do outside of what God has for me …

BTW – MM our student minister also LOVES the chapter in Foster’s book about simplicity. Ask her about it.

Belonging(s)

What do you think of when you hear the word belongings? Normally I think about my stuff. If there were a fire in my house after everyone was out I would want the firefighters to put water on the fire and save some of my belongings. I insure my belongings.

But the dictionary says that to "belong" is to be a natural member or a part. How do my material possessions make me a part of anything - except a consumeristic society that is marked by loneliness?

I find it interesting that the word belongings could come from such an important word as belonging. What a difference an "s" makes.

In his book "the SEARCH to BELONG" Joseph R. Myers says:

"your true "belongings" are not your possessions, but your relationships".

Think about that for a while...

The curve of the earth and the moon.

This evening I flew to Chicago for a workshop at Willow Creek. As the sun started going down I looked out of the airplane window from 41000 feet at the horizon and could see the curve of the earth. It was an impressive sight. It reminded me of how incredible creation is and how we can see the hand of God all around us if we would just stop long enough to look.

As we flew north I looked at the horizon to the northeast and saw a brilliantly bright light below us. Not the kind of light that comes from cities below an airplane but a light that made the surface of the earth appear to be on fire. I watched and even weirded out for a second or two. Then I realized what I was looking at was the full moon rising over the northeastern horizon. The angle at which I saw it made it look like if we were flying towards it we would be able to fly over it in the airplane.

As we continued to fly the moon matched our height and eventually rose "over" us. It was a beautiful full moon and once again made me realize I was seeing the fingerprints of God.

Baptism

Baptisms, communion, funerals and weddings always cause emotion to stir in me. The symbols and pictures played out by the participants are incredible. In baptism the picture of new life, in communion the weight of what Jesus accomplished for others and me and what he will one day do as he returns, for weddings and the picture of love of Jesus has for his church, and funerals for the hope … hope that the life we live today will one day stretch into eternity.

Today at Brazos Pointe we had a baptism. Four people were baptized and I got to help Greg as we baptized a husband and wife together. I never get tired of baptisms. The idea of people dying to themselves and raising from the water to live a new life in Jesus touches me every time. Especially when I get to watch it so close … even be involved.

Orderliness

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. The true scientists were rated as heretics by the church, but they were truly religious men because of their faith in the orderliness of the universe." - Albert Einstein

I've been reading a lot lately, but nothing I thought worth blogging about because I was sure no one would not want to hear it. But I ran across this quote today and it made me think. Like Phillip Hintze said in an earlier comment, Einstein is a quote machine. I think I've heard or read somewhere that Einstein was a pretty smart guy.

I have read quite a bit about science and how it relates to our faith and for the most part I have a hard time seeing what the big deal is. I think the two fit well together. There are so many issues people want to debate about the balance between faith and reason or science but I believe when they do they miss the bigger issue. The fact that the universe is just too stinking orderly to be one big accident.

Share The Well

Caedmon's Call writes, records and performs music that really speaks to me. They have a new CD that will be released in October. You can hear some clips here ---> Link

Clarity ... or not?

In the introduction of Brian McLaren's new book A Generous Orthodoxy he writes the following:

“…as in most of my other books, there are places here where I have gone out of my way to be provocative, mischievous, and unclear, reflecting my belief that clarity is sometimes overrated, and that shock, obscurity, playfulness, and intrigue (carefully articulated) often stimulate more thought than clarity.”

After having thought about this for a while I am curious to hear what the readers in blog land think. As a teacher I wrestle with how much to lay out there for my listeners. Should a teacher or preacher or writer "bottom line" everything so that there is no possible question to his hearer what he/she thinks the material he/she is teaching, preaching, or writing about means? I've heard some call this placing the cookies on the bottom shelf so that everyone can reach them.

Or would you rather have "provocative, mischievous, and unclear" or "shock, obscurity, playfulness, and intrigue" or even just narrative to help generate thought while in most cases leading you to some good conclusions.

Jesus, when he taught, didn't always lay out explicit details. He didn't say "the Kingdon of Heaven is..." He said "the Kingdom of Heaven is like ..." and then would give examples that sometimes his hearers had a hard time interpreting.

What do you think?

Another blogger

There is another blogger added to the blogosphere. Check out the personal musings of my good friend Dan Deans. ---> Link

Running the NYC Marathon ... not me, Edwin.

I am happy with my own company and I enjoy things that require solitude and disciple. I think that’s why I like to read so much; it’s just a book and me. I also like to run. I know that not every person who runs does so in solitude, but I do. I like getting out before the sun comes up and running a couple of miles or so. It is a perfect start to the day.

Although I am not the ultimate human specimen, running allows me to eat the brownie sitting in front of me as I type and stay reasonably close to my weight limits.

When someone finds out that I run occasionally they will ask if I’ve ever run a marathon. Although I haven’t run one, I have trained for two. A marathon is 26.2 miles. Training for a marathon is a tremendous amount of work. It consumes your life – from the way you eat, drink, sleep and live. A person can train for weeks and injure himself or herself and end their quest for a marathon.

That’s what happened to me the first time. I trained for months and ran the 20k warm-up race. I ran in a new pair of shoes on overpasses in Houston and I ran too fast. I injured my illiotibial band and I couldn’t run for a couple of months.

I trained for my second marathon the next year. I got up to a 17-mile long run and ran the 25k warm-up race. Then I got a job in Houston and started driving two-hours a day to work and back and had no time to train, which ended my marathon bid.

I’ve always said that I will run a marathon some day. Maybe …

I’d admire a person who takes the time and effort to train for and finish a marathon. Edwin Quarles is training for the New York City marathon and is blogging about the journey here ---> Link Check it out.

My Daughter is a Survivor

On April 21st Tori, our 13 year old daughter, had surgery to have a stainless steel rod attached to her spine to correct her scoliosis. She had worn a hard plastic brace that wrapped around her body and extended from her waist to just under her arms for a year and a half. One day she went in for a check-up and her doctor told her and Andrea “The brace is not working we will have to do surgery.” The doctor’s news hit us hard because the brace had held her spine relatively straight since she had worn it.

On the morning of Tori’s surgery Andrea and I kissed her and told her we were praying for her as she lay down in a rolling bed that was wheeled away down a long hall towards surgery. It was one of the hardest moments of my life - to trust our daughter into the hands of doctors, anesthesiologists and nurses. I get emotional just thinking about it.

As I think about it though, that’s what we have to do with God. Let Him have control of everything (the things which we can and cannot control).

After about four hours of surgery, Andrea and I went to see Tori in the recovery room. She was tired, sore and thirsty but in good shape for having her back cut open and rods installed into her spine. Andrea looked at me when we were finally able to touch our daughter again and help her as she recovered and she said “I can do this.” Being away from Tori during surgery was hard but being in her presence again made it better.

She got out of the hospital and as she recovered the incision on her hip where they took bone for a graft around her spine started hurting. At a check-up with her doctor we found out that she had an infection and would have to go back to Texas Children’s for surgery to clean that spot. After another week long stay and multiple surgeries, Tori was released from the hospital a second time. She had intravenous antibiotics for a while and then had to take antibiotics by mouth to kill the infection. Last night at nine o’clock she took her last antibiotic. And tonight we plan to surprise her (shhhh) with a Survivor Party.

We asked a bunch of close friends and family who went through all of this stuff to come over and watch the first Survivor of the new season (which Tori loves) and celebrate our daughter’s survival.

I am amazed at how well Tori has handled these last five months (and more). She has grown so much and I for one am impressed. Tori is our Survivor!

I know that so many families go through so much worse. I am grateful that it was not harder. God has been very good to us.

I love you Tori!

To blog or not to blog, that is the question.

My good friend Danny is starting a church in Northwest Houston called "The Way" and he asks the following question about blogging:

I have heard that this is an innovative way to understand and interact with "real" people. Is this true?

Go on over to his blog and tell him what you think here ---> THEWAY