Listening

Steven Sample president of USC in his chapter titled Artful Listening from the book The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership says:

The average person suffers from three delusions: (1) that he is a good driver, (2) that he has a good sense of humor, and (3) that he is a good listener.

This chapter made me question myself and how well I listen. Do I listen only for a few sentences, rush to judgment and then spend the rest of the time others are talking formulating a response? Too often that describes my listening style. I want to learn to listen so that I can understand the perspective of the person who is speaking.

The times where I really listen are far more beneficial to me as well as the person speaking. I end up gaining new perspectives that my personal bias would never have allowed me to see otherwise.

Sometimes my biggest problem is that I like the sound of my own voice too much …

I REALLY like the new ministry assistant ...

I used to work in the industrial world. I started as an instrument technician for Amoco Chemical in Texas City a long time ago and when I left the secular world last year I was in instrument engineering. Now I am in the ministry as the discipleship pastor for Brazos Pointe Fellowship. There is a long story that could be written from those couple of sentences but now is not the time or place.

When I had a job in the secular world, Andrea didn’t really understand what I did at work. She understood some of the relationship aspects of my job but the technical part never really interested her. One of the biggest adjustments we had to make when I went into ministry is that Andrea now fully understood my job and not only did she understand it she was as passionate about it as I was. It got to the point where it consumed both of us and we had to say “You know what? No church stuff on Mondays.” There had to be an escape from ministry and I believe it’s healthy.

This week Andrea started to work at the BPF office part time. Our youngest went off to kindergarten and it became a win-win situation for both the church and us. She helps Kirk with Admin stuff and acts as special events coordinator.

It is really weird, after all of those years of work being totally separated from family life to have work now be a big part of family life… and marriage. I went to lunch with a friend the other day and the exchange went something like, “What do you do when you have an argument? You can’t go to work to escape.” I pretty sure escaping doesn’t make for a good relationship anyway.

It is good to have Andrea working about ten or twelve steps away from me. Even though she’s only that far away, we still sometimes communicate via email (what a world).

Mundane rhythm ... or not.

“…the biggest problem with the Christian life is that it is so daily.” – Bruce Shelley

This is the first sentence of the preface of The Practice of the Presence of God. I think it’s easier to find God in life when things are either going extremely well or when life is hard. It is harder though to be close to God when we get into living the mundane rhythm of life.

As I read of how Brother Lawrence worked in the kitchen of a monastery and was aware of God’s presence even while performing the most menial task, I am challenged to see God around me. So as I walked to work this morning (because I couldn’t ride my missing bike) I decided to “practice God’s presence” on the way.

It seems like a basic thing – to concentrate on God around me on the way to work - but it took effort. I had to pay attention or my mind would drift off and think about the most random subjects.

There are two sycamore trees on the way to work (up Sycamore St.). These two trees remind me of my childhood (my grandparent’s yard was full of sycamore trees); they remind me of Zacchaeus; and this morning they reminded me to think about God and how he exists all around me.

breathing air again

take the time to start anew
maybe it's in front of you

take the time to walk down the street
heaven knows who you might meet

take the time to be okay
and laugh a bit along the way

maybe you could take me for a ride
we could just drive all day

and breathe again
step outside the front door
gaze upon the stars
and know you're not alone
so run into the fields
scream louder than you can
it's good to be alive
and breathe air again

take the time to stop and stare
heaven's beauty everywhere

take the time to think about
someone else besides yourself

take the time to be okay
and laugh a bit along the way

maybe you could take me for a ride
we could just drive all day

and breathe again
step outside the front door
gaze upon the stars
and know you're not alone
so run into the fields
scream louder than you can
it's good to be alive
and breathe air again

- robbie seay band

Books

I love books. Not love in the sense of unconditional love but the kind of love that says, “this is really cool”. I love the smell of a new book; I love the smell of an old book; I love the way books feel … oh and I like to read them too. I like bookstores as well. When Andrea wants to shop she can just drop me off at the bookstore and I’m content to hang out until she’s done “gathering”.

Another thing about me is, I’m cheap. I agonize over buying stuff and I think it’s really cool when I find a deal.

Our local Christian bookstore has a room in the back with used books. It is my favorite part of the store. It has books, which I love, and cheap books, which I love even more. The words don’t change when someone reads them so I am cool with used books.

So imagine how geeked I was today when I found a five-dollar book with Brother Lawrence’s The Practice of the Presence of God and Teresa of Avila’s The Way of Perfection in the same volume.

A friend of mine recommended I read The Practice of the Presence of God a long time ago, so I’m glad I picked it up. It will be a while before I get to it but that’s okay. It’s been a pretty good day …

Personality .... does it fit?

I found a link to this free personality test on Scott Williams blog. Here's how I scored:





Type Five The Investigator The perceptive, cerebral type. Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation. At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way.


I have a hard time with some of this ... "visionary pioneer"? Yet on other parts I think it nailed me "preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs". I do kind of look like that guy in the picture. Others who have my personality: Albert Einstein (ha), Bill Gates, John Lennon, Stephen King, Tim Burton, Friedrich Nietzsche, Vincent Van Gogh, and Kurt Cobain. What a crowd.

If you know me do you think they got me right?

Click on the link above and try it for yourself.

I want to ride my bicycle ...

My bicycle of 13 years has come up missing. I bought it the month before Tori was born ... now it's gone. I rode it to work this morning and when I got there I was warned. "You should bring your bike inside where it will be protected from thieves who come only to steal kill and destroy." But I ignored the sound advice and left my bike outside. After 13 years of leaving it everywhere, I find it ironic the day I was warned is the day it disappeared. Maybe those who took my white bike will send a ransom note.

Having to walk home and back for lunch was probably good for me anyway.

Sing it with me "I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike ..."

Vanity Fair

Andrea and I are attending Financial Peace, a financial class here at BPF. I highly recommend it. The class has been good for us, as we sit with others who are rethinking what it means to handle the resources God has given us in a way that pleases Him. We are in the middle of the "rethink" process ourselves.

Tonight I was reading through a section of Pilgrim's Progress. It is an allegory of Christianity as a journey in life through the eyes of a pilgrim named Christian. Christian encounters various trails, troubles and friendships as he travels to the Celestial City (heaven), which really is the beginning of the journey.

I came across the passage where Pilgrim and his friend Faithful must pass through the town of Vanity and through a fair there called, what else ... Vanity Fair.

But that which did not a little amuse the merchandisers was, that these pilgrims set very light by all their wares; they cared not so much as to look upon them; and if they called upon them to buy, they would put their fingers in their ears, and cry, Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity, and look upwards, signifying that their trade and traffic was in heaven.

We live in such a materialistic and consumer driven society that says buy it because "you deserve it". We live in Vanity Fair.

I wish I would more often be like pilgrim; light in my wares, with my fingers in my ears so I would become deaf to the cry of the merchant and turn my eyes toward heaven signifying that my “trade and traffic is in heaven”.

Someday our consumer driven culture called Babylon will fall and like Tony Campolo says:

“When Babylon falls, then, saints lose nothing, for they have invested elsewhere: the kingdom of God”

Words

I've been catching a hard time about the way I speak lately. It doesn't have anything to do with the South Texas "twang" I inherited from growing up here. It seems that I do not use correct grammar. I say "Me and Jake went camping" instead of "Jakeb and I went camping".

But isn't the point of talking to communicate where the hearer understands? Unless the hearer has a personal bias against bad grammar and shuts me out, will he/she still not get the point?

I have a friend who is starting a church. He calls people who have not yet stepped over the line of faith "pre-Christians". He ended up in an argument with another person over whether it is okay to call a person a "pre-Christian" because we are bestowing on them the sacred title of "Christian".

A church Andrea and I visited in D.C. spent countless hours arguing over whether to call the new addition to the church the fellowship hall or some other name. The arguments were heated and people were passionate and angry that church "tradition" could be ruined by the improper naming of a building.

Don't get me wrong. I believe words are important. I agonize over how to say the right thing in the right way as I teach. I just think that sometimes we communicate the same concepts with different words having the same meaning, yet waste time arguing over semantics.

Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.
2 Timothy 2:14 (NIV)

Well I've got to quit writing now ... me and Andrea are going to lunch with our daughter ... or is it Andrea and I ... oh, you get the point.

Leadership Summit Reflections

I started out before the leadership summit thinking through the tension that exist between being an organizational technician and a spiritual sage. The summit ended well with Bill Hybels addressing that tension.

He said that the laws of leadership are important and most of the time they dovetail nicely with the demands of discipleship. But there are times when the laws of leadership collide with the demands of discipleship and discipleship must win every time.

Bill Hybels said "We are building churches not Fortune 100 companies. We are dealing with destinies, not dollars. We are disciples of Jesus and citizens of the kingdom of heaven 1st. We should be in the habit of listening to the Holy Spirit, then we will hear His voice during the collision of leadership and discipleship and can follow Him."

Ronnie commented on my first leadership summit post and said that we can be both organization technicians and spiritual sages and I believe that he is right. Be a strong leader, because the church needs good strong leadership. Strong leadership is written all over the stories of the Bible. But leave room for God because often He says "I will do it in such a way that only the Most High could have accomplished when the best of human leadership would have failed."

Good leadership is influencing folks to follow God's direction anyway.

The Leadership Summit caused me to reflect on myself. It inspired me to lead by influence in relationship. It was well worth going.

Leadership Summit Day 2

Steven Sample, president of USC is one of the most intriguing people I’ve heard so far. He is a extremely intelligent guy who has both an artsy and technical mind and yet seems like he could be my grandpa.

He wrote the book, “The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership”. A contrarian is someone who thinks, not counter to conventional wisdom, but one who uses their mind “to break free of conventional thinking so as to bring your natural creativity and intellectual independence to the fore”. Makes me wish I were one.

Tim Sanders told me to live from my abundance rather than from my scarcity. He also quoted Dale Carnegie: “You will accomplish more in two months by trying to get to know two people than you will in two years trying to get two people to know you.”

And Marcus Buckingham was very business-like as he reminded me to be “beautifully clear” in my communication.

Just some random thoughts from day two ...

Leadership Summit 1st Day

Today was a good day. Nice and cool which is weird for Texas in August. The Leadership Summit was good and I learned some stuff.

Bill Hybels said sometimes I have to do what leadership requires, not just what fits into my nice neat schedule; especially during "challenge peaks".

Pat Summitt made me ask myself "Would I want to work with me?"

And then Bishop T.D. Jakes Sr. got up and spoke. No matter what you think of T.D. Jakes style or theology, he is a man who obviously loves God and is one of the most dynamic speakers I have ever heard. Of the three speakers, he brought the most substance. More than I could possibly write here, in fact I am still processing some of it.

Questions T.D. Jakes made me ask myself:

Am I seeking God? If I am not I cannot take people to places spiritually I have not been myself!
Am I willing to be different? Am I comfortable in my own skin?

There are more, but these couple impacted me the most. I may write more tomorrow.

Leadership Summit

Tomorrow through Saturday I will be attending the Willow Creek Leadership Summit at a local satellite location.

Bill Hybels says "The local church is the hope of the world, and its future rests primarily in the hands of its leaders."

Brian McLaren says "Leadership must once again become a matter of love and spirituality, a place for spiritual sages, not just organizational technicians."

I think that the Leadership Summit will lean more towards organizational technician rather than spiritual sage. Although I see that in the last session Hybels will address when leadership and discipleship clash. The question I ask myself is can the organizational technician and the spiritual sage exist in the same body? There has to be some organizational technician or the church would be chaotic.

And the second question I ask myself is how many times have I allowed the organizational technician in me to organize God out of the picture? As in everything else there is a balance.

I look forward to the next couple of days for the change in routine and what I might possibly learn from some incredibly sharp people. I'll let you know how it goes.

Hintze's blogging

Our guitarist at BPF, Phillip Hintze is blogging. He says in his profile that he is "almost functional" as a guitarist. I think he's thinkin to lowly of himself ... check out his "waste of bandwidth" here ... link

Fighting with myself

I woke up this morning tired from going to bed late. My eyes had a hard time staying open, my legs were sore to the bone from working on the camper on Monday and running yesterday morning.

My plan was to run a couple of miles this morning but everything in me was finding an excuse to skip it. You know the drill. I'm thinking to myself "I really should run" but another part of my mind is saying "you really should check out that Wiggles video sitting on the TV." Anything to keep from having to get out of the door.

Eventually I convinced myself that I should at least put on my running shorts and make an attempt at it. But then I am distracted by a news story about the man President Bush named as the new director of the CIA. Funny, I've never cared about the CIA before.

After arguing with myself a little while longer I stepped outside the door and started a slow jog. I ran ... not far and not fast but I ran. And when I got home I felt excellent and wondered why I had ever argued with myself about it.

Why is it so hard to do something that makes me feel good and has so many benefits to my body and my mind? It just doesn't make sense.

Enchiladas or Gumbo?

Yesterday at the end of my message on loving God with all of your mind I tried to illustrate repentance by saying that it was like finding yourself going down a road in the wrong direction. Say you are going to San Antonio and you go north to Houston and get on I-10. But on I-10 you make a mistake and head east toward New Orleans instead of heading west towards San Antonio. Realizing you have made a critical mistake because mexican food is much better than cajun food you pull off the side of the road. Repentance is not crying on the steering wheel of you car and feeling sorry that you are going towards New Orleans and then continuing in an easterly direction. Repentance is pulling over, turning the car around and heading towards San Antonio and some of the best mexican food in the world.

After the service, a lady came up to me and told me I was a blasphemer and that I had just not eaten the right cajun food. In fact I was amazed at how many people have a strong opinion about which food is better - mexican or cajun. Making the statement that mexican food is better was probably one of the more controversial subjects I've ever broached - imagine that.

Don't get me wrong, I like cajun food okay. It's just that there is nothing better than a hot plate of beef enchiladas thick with cheese. So hot that it burns your tongue when you first try to take a bite. With a side of refried beans, spanish rice and pico de gallo with small chunks of tomato, onion, celantro, and jalapeno. I am making myself hungry.

My oldest daughter and I read a book together and today were going on a "date" to talk about it. I think we'll have to go to El Toro for lunch.

Hmmmm ...

One of those weeks ...

Ronnie asked the question "Do you ever have those days..." on his blog last Sunday. Well my question is "do you ever have those weeks"?

My week hasn't been bad but it's been busy and some of the people with whom I'm closest have pointed out to me that in my overzealous desire to accomplish the tasks of the week I have had my blinders on to people.

It is so easy to be caught up in the process that you miss the point of the process all together. If you are one of those people who I passed by and ignored because my mind was somewhere else, I apologize, and if I know about it I'll try to find you and tell you in person.

"We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing." Link

"No matter what I'm going through, it's not the destination, it's the journey" - Joseph Garlington

Trip to the Dentist

My daughter Anna and I had a daddy/daughter date to the dentist to get our teeth cleaned. The dentist is kind of scary sometimes but it helps when you have your 5 year old there to hold your hand and tell you there's nothing to worry about.

We both had a good experience and afterwards went to the snowcone shack on wheels that parks by the church office and got a sour apple snowcone to make the hygenist earn her money next time we go back.

Baseball Boredom

Last night Andrea and I went with her sister and brother-in-law to watch the Astros lose to the Atlanta Braves. We had a good time (not that I enjoy watching the Astros lose). With the exception of a few moments, the pace of the game was slow and the mood of the folks in the surrounding seats was one of general boredom. It seemed like the game was really an excuse for the people around us to pay $10 a piece to hang out with friends. Don't get me wrong it's a good thing to hang out with people and Andrea and I had fun with our relatives. But is baseball so slow that it's more about the company you're with than the actual game?

Baseball is one of those games that you have to understand and follow closely to really enjoy. I grew up watching baseball because my dad is a fan of the game and I have some interest in it. I just don’t have the will to follow a team through an entire season unless something extraordinary is happening (like the Astros of ’86).

If I only had one afternoon available for the entire year to watch one sporting event I wouldn’t pick a baseball game. I think I would have to pick a college football game.

What do you think?

Heat

I just finished mowing the yard. At 1:42 p.m. it's 94 degrees f. on the thermometer and the weather man says about 110 degrees f. heat index. I love summer time in Texas!

People I don't know ...

This morning I sat down with a small book written by Kenneth Boa. It is actually a journal where I can reflect on verses related to the historic creeds of the Christian faith.

As I read I thought of how people like Dr. Boa have affected my life without me ever actually getting to meet or know them. I've read a couple of books by Boa and they always cause me to grow. The same thing happens with people who aren't even living now like C.S. Lewis and Henri Nouwen. And people who are alive but I will possibly never meet like Erwin McManus, Ravi Zacharius, Dallas Willard, Robert Webber, Brian McLaren and others. Even the blogs I've been reading lately, some from people whose name I remember and some I've forgot.

On my last post I talked about how good it is to have close friends who challenge me to live the life Jesus called me to live. It's good to have friends who I don't know and may never know (this side of heaven) challenge me as well.