FRIENDS

I don’t think that we get the privilege of having very many true friends. We try alot out over the years but few are what you would call true friends. You know, like David & Jonathon, Calvin & Hobbs, Batman & Robin, Mickey & Minnie, Tweety & Sylvester (ok, that’s probably taking it too far, huh?) When we do run across true friendships, it is a rare gift. I have a small handful of girl friends that I know I could call on at any time of day or night or in any situation and they’d be there for me and I’d be there for them. Family friends are even harder to come by but we have been very fortunate to find a few of those. The way we like to describe friends, true friends, is this:

1) Those who you can be yourself around and they still like you - even when you forget their birthday!
2) Those who are themselves when they are around you and you still like them.
3) Those who when you’re with them for hours, it seems like minutes.
4) Those who build you up and don’t tear you down.
5) Those who you know would be there for you anytime, anywhere if at all possible.
6) Those who prove themselves authentic and trustworthy.

I’m sure there’s more – if you have something to add to the list, comment away…..

While our kids have been growing up, we’ve had some great teachable moments with them in regards to some friends they have chosen and we’ve definitely learned a thing or two ourselves. We've learned that to have friends, we must be friends and must be those things to others in the list above. Friendships are risky! We have discovered, though, that the good ones we have were worth the risk.

Something we tell our kids is that you must be friendly to all but friends with few. This is a great quote to send young children to school with - along with "pay attention to your teacher", I guess.... I threw that in for my teacher friends! :) Our kids need to be friendly to everyone on the playground but they don't have to play with everyone.

In the last several months, it has become increasing important to me to stay in touch with my current friends and to get in contact with some friends from my past. I guess that as I look to our future of so much change, I looked over my past and wanted to reconnect with those who have blessed me and helped me become a better me. I made a mental list of those people and my search began.

My first contact was with a childhood friend from Kindergarten. We had a great time playing together from K to the 2nd grade when my family moved to Brazil. We got back in contact in high school but our paths took different turns and we lost touch. Through a very random series of events, we have met for a few coffee dates in Houston and have had some great conversations.
My second was a couple that we got to meet in a bible study that we led in our home for singles. They weren’t married at the time and in fact, she was from Spain. He had grown up in Spain and met her at some point and they carried out a long distance relationship for a few years. It was great to get to know them and then they married and moved off. Through some mutual friends and little research, I finally reconnected with them. They live far away but internet will make it possible to keep in contact with them.

Then I was on to what would prove to be my biggest challenge so far.… When we lived in Spring, we met up with a wonderful family! He, the dad/husband, is from Scotland and she, the mom/wife, is from London. We met at our kids’ school and just connected. They have two girls about our oldest two kids’ age and we just had so much fun together, eating, camping, playing games, visiting. We moved to LJ and got together a few months after we moved and then life got in the way and sadly, we lost touch. I searched every thing I could think of on the internet and finally yesterday, the magic search key word combination produced results!! I was able to connect through email and hope to get to speak with them on the phone soon and plan a “catch up” day.

For those of you that are our friends, you know who you are, you know that we are far from social butterflies and often struggle in the relationship department. The world is a big place and we're about to be all over it. Life happens, so if we happen to lose touch some day, be assured that it wasn’t my desire and that I will hunt you down and eventually find you so try to make it easy for me – unless, you don’t want me to! I think I lost track of these friends honestly because we had young kids. Too much to take are of a very few brain cells to spare..… Hopefully in our more "mature" stage of life (not to mention the help of advanced technology) we are less selfish and will have no troubles keeping in touch. But we are human, afterall, life is busy and our brains can sometimes only handle so much, so it is a possibility. Just bein’ for real – and I know that’s why you love me!

"Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade."
- William Shakespeare

(translation: hold on to old friends and be slow to trust new friends - Sparknotes)