A logical mystic

I live my life by logic and logic alone sometimes and it gets me in trouble. Logic is not a bad thing but having a sense of logic and an absence of wonder is unhealthy.

Yesterday morning I ran 5 miles. As I turned on to Circle Way I looked at the line of deep purple just above the trees where the sun would come up in about a half an hour. The deep purple gave way to a lighter purple that faded into a dark pink that turned to white next to a deep blue that stretched to the opposite horizon. The deep blue was a canvas painted with a radiant crescent moon. Below the moon were no less that ten bats that flew in a herky jerky fashion that made me wonder how they could fly at all.

After a couple of days of totally logical life my morning run tuned me to the voice of God in the sky and the fact that I had ignored that voice long enough to be in danger of trying to live life on my own.

I need wonder. I need awe. I need the mystical. If you are a follower of Christ you do too.

You cannot be a Christian without being a mystic.
I was talking to a homeless man at a laundry mat recently, and he said that when we reduce Christian spirituality to math we defile the Holy. I thought it was very beautiful and comforting because I have never been good at math. Many of our attempts to understand Christian faith have only cheapened it. I can no more understand the totality of God than the pancake I made for breakfast understands the complexity of me. The little we do understand, that grain of sand our minds are capable of grasping, those ideas such as God is good, God feels, God loves, God knows all, are enough to keep our hearts dwelling on His majesty and otherness forever.

- Don Miller Blue Like Jazz

They all realized they were in a place of holy mystery, that God was at work among them. They were quietly worshipful—and then noisily grateful, calling out among themselves, "God is back, looking to the needs of his people!"
Luke 7:16

Hotel Rwanda

I watched Hotel Rwanda yesterday. I’ve wanted to see this film since Aaron referred to it in a message at our church in February. It is a movie about the conflict in Rwanda in 1994 where the Hutu guerrillas killed over a million Tutsis in less than three months while the rest of the world just watched. They did it based on their hatred of a group of people who were outwardly just like them and yet they were labeled as something different (Hutu or Tutsi). That may be an oversimplification but it seems to me that too many people were killed needlessly.

In the movie Don Cheadle plays Paul Rusesabagina, a Hutu who manages a hotel owned by Europeans. After the foreign nationals leave the hotel fearing their own safety, Rusesabagina uses it to save the lives of over 1200 Tutsis. I was moved by how a man of humility could use his influence to affect change in the people around him.

The part of the movie that stung more than any other is when a news man collects some video of the massacre that is sent abroad to be aired on the evening news. Rusesabagina says something to the effect, “When the world sees the video they will not be able to stay away. They will come and help.”
To which the cameraman replies, “No, they will see the video and say, ’How horrible’ and then they will go back to eating their dinner.”

I started reading Blue Like Jazz yesterday. As I thought about how horrible it is that something like the genocide in Rwanda happened in my adult lifetime, I read an interesting section of Miller’s book. He is talking to his friend Tony about all the people killed in Africa and Tony asked, “Do you think you could do something like that…?” Through a process of thought and conversation Miller comes to the conclusion that we are all capable of some horrible things because inside all of us exists a sin nature.

The potential for evil is inside all of us. We inherited it from Adam. At the risk of oversimplification again; the answer to the darkness in every part of the world is the redemption brought about by Jesus which has the power to change the heart. Even then we all have to act when we can.

Hotel Rwanda gave me a burden I’m not sure what to do with.

I think Jesus feels strongly about communicating the idea of our brokenness, and I think it’s worth reflection. Nothing is going to change in the Congo until you and I figure out what is wrong with the person in the mirror.

- Don Miller Blue Like Jazz

Eternal weight

I’ve been thinking about death lately. Not in a morbid way. I’m not thinking about the moment of death. I don’t plan to die anytime soon, but I wonder if I’m ready for it. I wonder if I’m ready for what is on the other side.

I look forward to stepping out of time and existing in eternity. I look forward to living without my sin nature. I look forward to living in the presence of the One who made me. But am I ready for what is there? Am I living in such a way to get me ready for what happens in forever? And can I?

Where can a dead man go?
A question with an answer only dead men know
But I’m gonna bet they never really feel at home
If they spent their lifetime learning how to live in Rome

- Nickel Creek

We do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary light affliction is producing in us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.

- Paul the Apostle

This is a test

Blogger now has an add-in where you can post directly from a Word document. That’s cool because I normally write everything I post in Word first. I’m a terrible speller and my grammar is sometimes helped by Word … and sometimes grammar check just tics me off. I think it will be cool if this works out.

Here’s the link to the add-in … link

Robbie Seay Band

Last night Phillip, Jenny, Josh, Ashley and I went to a CD release party for the Robbie Seay Band at the Taft Street Coffee House where Ecclesia meets. RSB leads worship for Ecclesia Houston. They signed with a label and now are basically releasing music that was on their independent releases.

Most of the music the Robbie Seay Band does, they wrote out of their journey with Ecclesia. The music and words are fresh and multilayered. RSB connects to the spiritual while maintaining an edge and a uniqueness that other bands seem to miss when they label themselves “Christian”. Phillip and Jenny commented that they seemed to be effortless in their playing. It was a good experience. Pick up the CD Better Days if you get a chance – you won’t be disappointed.

The Robbie Seay Band's music has been an important part of my journey over the past year.

It's good to be alive

And breathing air again

Leadership Summit 2005 Follow-up

I will sit down this week and decompress from the Leadership Summit. I know there are some things I need to implement but I really need to sit down, gather and work through my thoughts to where there is no more than a couple of things I will do.

Some thoughts at random:
My holy discontent is wasted potential. (See Ronnie’s here ---> link)

As a follower of Christ I am not always sure of where I am going, but I must be sure I am following Jesus. – Paraphrase of a Bonhoeffer quote

I need to work to add value to people.

Dr. Jack Groppel speaks my language.
It’s not about time management; it’s about energy management. The largest energy gains happen in the area of the physical and the spiritual. Rest and recovery is huge.

In my hands any spiritual act will be at best mediocre, in God’s hands anything I do He takes beyond my wildest expectations.

Keep the vision clear. Get the people engaged. Make the gathering memorable. Pace for the long haul.

I want to run an ultra someday.

Nickel Creek - Why Should the Fire Die?

I’m not a fan of music with the "country" label. Have I ever said here that before? I don’t care for simplistic, crying in my beer, my wife/husband left me, prideful music. Enough said right?

I bought a new CD today and I had to stand in front of the “country” section to pick it up. A group I thoroughly enjoy, Nickel Creek has a CD called Why Should the Fire Die? These guys and girl are incredible musicians and they write thoughtful music. Their first CD (the first one I bought) had a pretty strong bluegrass sound. Each CD since then has moved a bit from bluegrass toward a much more eclectic sound which I like but assume will really make their bluegrass fans mad. It’s some jamming stuff and I’m digging it.

Spam

I’m starting to get comment spam. From cheesecake recipes to college degrees in two weeks, you can find it here on my blog.

Email spam, cell phone text message spam, fax spam, comment spam - someone’s got to be buying this stuff or spammers wouldn’t waste their time. Or maybe they have no life and would waste their time. I don't know which, but really ... a PhD in two weeks through the mail? You gotta be kidding me! Stop buying spam stuff … Go to Wal Mart instead, which is sometimes almost as annoying.

Leadership Summit 2005

This week I will attend my second leadership conference this year. The leadership team and some ministry leaders from Brazos Pointe Fellowship are attending Willow Creek’s Leadership Summit. The summit is beamed live via satellite all over the country and we’ll see it at First Pres. in Houston.

I went to the 2004 Leadership Summit by myself and it was a growing experience for me. I was very impressed by Steve Sample, president of USC and after seeing his interview with Bill Hybels I bought his book The Contrarian's Guide To Leadership and highly recommend it. Others at the conference influenced me as well. Different speakers addressed different aspects of leadership and what it means to be a Christ follower each touched a different part of who I am and challenged me.

Earlier this year I attended Origins, a leadership experience hosted and lead by Mosaic in LA. That conference changed me in some very personal ways. So personal in some cases that I would not even begin to write about them now - someday maybe, but not now. Erwin and Alex McManus challenged those present to be mystic warriors to live a life that is not safe but one where I risk everything to follow a primal call from the Creator of the universe. It was an experience that cannot be adequately explained. It truly was an “experience”.

Two different “conferences” with two very different men leading - both used by God to change me and make me more of what He created me to be.

I am looking forward to Thursday, Friday and Saturday of this week. If I have a chance I will post some of what I learn there. We are taking 13 other leaders from BPF and two pastors from church plants we support as well. Pray for us when you think about it.

Not old yet ... but getting there

As Jakeb and I spent a couple of days away camping I noticed how he seemed to have this endless energy and I didn’t. He always wanted to climb and jump off of the tree one more time. He wanted to swim a bit longer. He wanted to stay at Landa Park just one more hour and jump off of the rope swing just one more time. I didn’t slow him down too much but when the day was done I was just tired. Physically tired.

I have always been the one envied by others for my endless supply of energy and now I envy my son for the same.

My plan in life was to never get old. I am not that old now, but I always want to be in good enough shape to keep up with my kids. I’m only thirty-eight but Jakeb ran me into the ground over the first three days of this week. I must have been coming down with something – I can’t be getting old … not yet life is just starting.

Rich Mullins wrote:

God lets us struggle and prosper – we don’t all struggle and prosper the same, but we all do both to some degree. And when we have done enough to think more highly of ourselves than we should, God lets us age. And as we age, we begin to forget stuff; our joints stiffen; our heads go a little soft. We drive slower and are less driven, are more embarrassed and are less likely to die of that embarrassment and more likely to die of natural causes. Getting old is part of getting past whatever illusions we have about ourselves. It is part of getting free – free from reasonable doubts, irrational conceits, false securities, displaced affections …

And so, let me grow. Let me grow old. Let me grow free. Even if I have to repeat myself to do it.

Camping and stuff

During the summer break Andrea and I take our kids for some one-on-one time with mom or dad. The girls spent time with mom and the guy (Jakeb) spends time with me. There are really two goals for this time. One is to build a stronger relationship with our kids by having fun. The other is to talk about relationships (guy/girl relationships). For those of you at Brazos Pointe, this is where we teach our kids about muffins among other things like dating, marriage, how simple guys are and how complex girls are etc. For the years when they are 11, 12, and 13 we use a resource called Passport to Purity.

Jakeb and I went camping at Guadalupe River State Park for the last three days. What we talked about is confidential but the fun we had is not. We spent most of our time in the water. We found a tree that had a huge muscadine grape vine wrapped around it about 15 feet over the water. The water was deep and we climbed and jumped from that tree at least fifty times over the course of a couple of days. We floated on the river sans tubes and played in the rapids. We grabbed rocks under the rapids and let the water rush over our heads. On the last day after we finished camping we ate lunch in Gruene at the Grist Mill and then spent the rest of the afternoon swimming in the spring fed pool at Landa Park. It was a good three days and I feel like I know my son better.

Yesterday on the drive home Jakeb and I were listening to NPR and this lady was lamenting the fact that she felt inadequate to tell her sons about girls. She said that guys have four emotions – happy, sad, mad, and hungry. Girls have an emotional complexity that no man could understand. She implied that girls are weird. Jakeb got a kick out of that. If he only knew…