Since I know my mom reads my blog occasionally – “Mom you can skip this post …”
I was on an information gathering mission today and while surfing for a specific subject for an upcoming Sunday message I found myself here – on a web site devoted to assisting young people as they try to decide if full time vocational ministry in the Catholic Church is right for them.
Besides the fact that I am disqualified, I have no desire to be a priest or monk. But I found the evaluation tools on the web site interesting and I took some of the tests.
Based on one of the test my spirituality type is the PATH OF INTELLECT (Thomistic prayer). The web site says, “People of this prayer type prefer neat, orderly forms of the spiritual life, as opposed to the free-spirit, impulsive attitude of the Franciscan approach.”
I think they nailed me there.
Then I took the “Celibacy Quiz” and I got a pop-up that says “Your answers indicate that you have the capacity to live a celibate life well, but some issues might need to be resolved before making a full commitment”. HA!
I may have the capacity, but for me the dynamics of marriage and learning to exist with another person in life has helped my spiritual growth more than celibacy could. BTW - I believe marriage is the only context in which a person should choose not to be celibate.
Be careful with your comments ... your mom might be reading too.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Feeding my soul
I am good at feeding my body. I can eat and I do it everyday – sometimes too much. I am good at feeding my mind. I enjoy a good book or a good movie and to engage either is very satisfying.
I know how to satisfy my body and my mind but sometimes I neglect to feed my soul. Yesterday our student minister Mary Margaret went on a one day spiritual retreat. Talking to her today reminded me of my own spiritual retreat a couple of months ago. It is a day set aside to be alone and quiet before God. To some of you it sounds mystical but it’s not. It can become quite normal.
For my day alone with God I went to Ruah retreat center at Villa De Matel. That’s where MM went yesterday too. It is a place that is dedicated to silence and solitude where a person can connect to God. The day I spent there was incredible. To try to describe it is futile. Have you ever tried to describe a spiritual experience you’ve had to someone else and they just stare at you with their head leaning to one side like a puppy that just chewed your mail and is wondering why you’re so worked up?
After I left Ruah I committed to myself and to God to take my experience at Ruah home with me and spend some quality time in the presence of God as a normal part of my everyday life. What’s the difference between this spiritual retreat and a quiet time? Well they are similar, the difference is that my quiet time has become so much about productivity and knowledge gain that it is no longer about building my relationship with God. I feel like God is saying to me, “Tommy rest in me. Be quiet. Stop trying to be productive and really know me in the most intimate way. Feed your soul with me. Stop with the busyness of life and the things you see as “great matters” and be still and quiet your soul.”
I need to add a time of silence and solitude to my days so that I can feed my soul. When you see me next, ask me how I’m doing.
I know how to satisfy my body and my mind but sometimes I neglect to feed my soul. Yesterday our student minister Mary Margaret went on a one day spiritual retreat. Talking to her today reminded me of my own spiritual retreat a couple of months ago. It is a day set aside to be alone and quiet before God. To some of you it sounds mystical but it’s not. It can become quite normal.
For my day alone with God I went to Ruah retreat center at Villa De Matel. That’s where MM went yesterday too. It is a place that is dedicated to silence and solitude where a person can connect to God. The day I spent there was incredible. To try to describe it is futile. Have you ever tried to describe a spiritual experience you’ve had to someone else and they just stare at you with their head leaning to one side like a puppy that just chewed your mail and is wondering why you’re so worked up?
After I left Ruah I committed to myself and to God to take my experience at Ruah home with me and spend some quality time in the presence of God as a normal part of my everyday life. What’s the difference between this spiritual retreat and a quiet time? Well they are similar, the difference is that my quiet time has become so much about productivity and knowledge gain that it is no longer about building my relationship with God. I feel like God is saying to me, “Tommy rest in me. Be quiet. Stop trying to be productive and really know me in the most intimate way. Feed your soul with me. Stop with the busyness of life and the things you see as “great matters” and be still and quiet your soul.”
I need to add a time of silence and solitude to my days so that I can feed my soul. When you see me next, ask me how I’m doing.
A pilgrim song of David
My heart is not proud, O Lord,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, put your hope in the Lord
both now and forevermore.
Psalm 131
My heart is not proud, O Lord,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, put your hope in the Lord
both now and forevermore.
Psalm 131
Monday, February 14, 2005
Hugs from a guest
Today my favorite human on the face of the earth (my wife Andrea) is taking over my blog. Enjoy ...
- - - - - - - -
I’m hijacking Tommy’s blog for this post. I’ll be setting up a blog for myself soon but I knew more would read this on Tommy’s and I wanted to get it out there today, being Valentine’s Day. So here goes…
In January, I read one of my favorite quiet time guides, Soul Journey. There was an article on January 15, 2005 called “Compassion of Jesus” by Jennifer Farley. She said, when someone we love dies, we miss them but Jesus does not leave us comfortless.
It got me to thinking a lot about hugs. I’m not a big hugger. I didn’t come from a family with a lot of physical affection so hugging doesn’t always come easy for me. Tommy, on the other hand, well, hugging was a part of his everyday life. It comes very easy for him to show love to our kids and me with a hug.
Hugs can be taken or given. I prefer the hugs that are given. I’m well aware of the hug that someone takes and it’s very hard for me to give back when someone is just taking a hug. But, when it’s given… it’s just to show love to me, I kinda dig that kind of hug. (unless it’s Tommy after running a few miles, yuc!!!)
Hugs make an impression on my heart, on my body, on my mind. I know when a hug is real and out of love, I feel the arms make an impression on my physical body and I remember how it feels in my mind to have someone I love hug me.
Make today a day of hugs… Make sure you give enough hugs to your loved ones to last a lifetime and beyond. Make sure you give them more tomorrow and the next and the next so they’ll be able to remember how it feels to have your arms wrapped around them even when you’re not around.
So, if you’re like me and hugs don’t come naturally, take this advice that I got long ago. “If you hug someone 3000 times, it starts becoming more natural.” Just do it! Give hugs, don’t take them. Give them away freely and with lots and lots of love and squeeze so tight the person you are hugging will not ever be able to forget what it feels like.
If you don’t get the privilege of a hug today from a physical person that you love, I pray you can feel God’s arms wrap around you. He hugs us all the time, we just may not notice. In the words of Jennifer Farley, “Jesus said, “I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you” (John 14:18). His heart goes out to us—how comforting that is! Anytime we’re hurting, Jesus has compassion on us. He’ll comfort us, as we reach out to Him.” Reach your arms out to Jesus, and he’ll hug you back!
On the “love day”, Valentine’s Day, I plan on hugging my family so much that they won’t forget what it feels like to get a hug from their mom and wife. Don’t worry, I won’t hug everyone – and I really don’t want everyone to hug me!
Happy Valentine’s Day!!! Tell someone you love them and GIVE them a hug!
- - - - - - - -
I’m hijacking Tommy’s blog for this post. I’ll be setting up a blog for myself soon but I knew more would read this on Tommy’s and I wanted to get it out there today, being Valentine’s Day. So here goes…
In January, I read one of my favorite quiet time guides, Soul Journey. There was an article on January 15, 2005 called “Compassion of Jesus” by Jennifer Farley. She said, when someone we love dies, we miss them but Jesus does not leave us comfortless.
It got me to thinking a lot about hugs. I’m not a big hugger. I didn’t come from a family with a lot of physical affection so hugging doesn’t always come easy for me. Tommy, on the other hand, well, hugging was a part of his everyday life. It comes very easy for him to show love to our kids and me with a hug.
Hugs can be taken or given. I prefer the hugs that are given. I’m well aware of the hug that someone takes and it’s very hard for me to give back when someone is just taking a hug. But, when it’s given… it’s just to show love to me, I kinda dig that kind of hug. (unless it’s Tommy after running a few miles, yuc!!!)
Hugs make an impression on my heart, on my body, on my mind. I know when a hug is real and out of love, I feel the arms make an impression on my physical body and I remember how it feels in my mind to have someone I love hug me.
Make today a day of hugs… Make sure you give enough hugs to your loved ones to last a lifetime and beyond. Make sure you give them more tomorrow and the next and the next so they’ll be able to remember how it feels to have your arms wrapped around them even when you’re not around.
So, if you’re like me and hugs don’t come naturally, take this advice that I got long ago. “If you hug someone 3000 times, it starts becoming more natural.” Just do it! Give hugs, don’t take them. Give them away freely and with lots and lots of love and squeeze so tight the person you are hugging will not ever be able to forget what it feels like.
If you don’t get the privilege of a hug today from a physical person that you love, I pray you can feel God’s arms wrap around you. He hugs us all the time, we just may not notice. In the words of Jennifer Farley, “Jesus said, “I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you” (John 14:18). His heart goes out to us—how comforting that is! Anytime we’re hurting, Jesus has compassion on us. He’ll comfort us, as we reach out to Him.” Reach your arms out to Jesus, and he’ll hug you back!
On the “love day”, Valentine’s Day, I plan on hugging my family so much that they won’t forget what it feels like to get a hug from their mom and wife. Don’t worry, I won’t hug everyone – and I really don’t want everyone to hug me!
Happy Valentine’s Day!!! Tell someone you love them and GIVE them a hug!
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Is your passion hot?
Andrea and I went with some friends to Fellowship of the Woodlands on Saturday night to see if we could gain some insight for Brazos Pointe Fellowship's Saturday Night service that will start on Easter weekend.
After the service Andrea and I wanted something to munch on and a drink. We were standing in line to pay for the stuff we were going to consume and the lady behind the counter asked me, “Is your passion hot?” I paused for a second and told Andrea, “She just asked me if my passion was hot. What nerve.”
Very uncharacteristically, Andrea just laughed and then she turned to her friend Dedee and said, “Hey the lady behind the counter asked Tommy if his passion was hot.” And Dedee laughed too.
Wow. No one cares that the lady was asking me such a question.
It really didn’t matter because we were at Starbucks and I had ordered myself a Zen green tea and I ordered Andrea a Passion tea. Apparently Passion tea comes iced or hot and the lady was asking me if I wanted it cold or hot. Therefore “Is your passion hot?” is a perfectly appropriate question.
Context is everything.
After the service Andrea and I wanted something to munch on and a drink. We were standing in line to pay for the stuff we were going to consume and the lady behind the counter asked me, “Is your passion hot?” I paused for a second and told Andrea, “She just asked me if my passion was hot. What nerve.”
Very uncharacteristically, Andrea just laughed and then she turned to her friend Dedee and said, “Hey the lady behind the counter asked Tommy if his passion was hot.” And Dedee laughed too.
Wow. No one cares that the lady was asking me such a question.
It really didn’t matter because we were at Starbucks and I had ordered myself a Zen green tea and I ordered Andrea a Passion tea. Apparently Passion tea comes iced or hot and the lady was asking me if I wanted it cold or hot. Therefore “Is your passion hot?” is a perfectly appropriate question.
Context is everything.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Believe in yourself
This morning I got a newsletter where Rick Warren said “Each Sunday, church pews are filled with members who are doing nothing with their faith except "keeping" it.” It made me ask myself “Am I just “keeping” my faith or am I doing something with it?”
I believe the reason I don’t take risks and step out into unknown territory is because I believe God is perfectly capable of doing everything that needs to get done in the world without me. Besides why take the risk when I am a nobody? The media tells me I’m too short and I’m too tall, and my hair is the wrong color (blondes have more fun) and I need to go to the hair club for men; I’m too skinny and I’m too fat, and my skin is blemished and my car is a piece of junk and I am not worth anything …
Fear keeps me from being me. God created me and you to be exactly who we are and there is nothing wrong with me and there’s nothing wrong with you. God wants me to be the me He created me to be.
It’s true; God could accomplish everything it takes to make the world everything he wants it to be – the best world possible. But the fact of the matter is God has decided to use me and you to accomplish that purpose - because God believes in me.
So believe in God; and believe in yourself … God does.
If your back is pinned against the wall
And the stress is killing you
And the cross you carry on your back
Makes it hard for you to move
In yourself
Believe, its all right
In yourself
Believe, you're all right
Doug Pinnick, Ty Tabor, Jerry Gaskill
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Cooking for Mickey D's
Tonight Andrea made lettuce wraps ala P.F. Chang’s or a restaurant we like even more Pei Wei. It was good and the kids liked it. Anna our soon to be six year old daughter was eating and Andrea asked her, “Anna do you like it?”
Anna said, “Yeah mom this is really good. You’re a good cook. You should work at McDonalds.”
The ultimate praise a six year old could ever give a cook.
Anna said, “Yeah mom this is really good. You’re a good cook. You should work at McDonalds.”
The ultimate praise a six year old could ever give a cook.
Romance
Read on guys, its not that bad … besides you needed a reminder that Valentine's Day is coming (you can thank me later).
I usually think of romance in terms of the relationship between a man and a woman. Very rarely do I think of romance in a spiritual sense and would not normally combine the ideas of romance and God - except maybe in thinking about the Song of Solomon. I know God created the marriage relationship between a man and a woman and I know to have a good marriage God has to be in the middle of it. But when it comes to romance, I just assumed He said, “Okay now, figure it out because I’m God and romance is a “humanity” thing”.
Today I was reading Epic by John Eldredge and he introduced a thought that made me stop reading and think. Here it is:
Creation unfolds like a great work of art, a masterpiece in the making. And just as you can learn about an author by the stories he tells, you can learn about a great deal about an artist from the works he creates. Surely you see that God is more creative than we can possibly imagine, and romantic to the core.
(pg 46)
Wow … look at creation and see the romance of God. God is "romantic to the core" and my example for how romance fits into life and is shown to Andrea. To be romantic I have to be creative like God is creative. What a concept. Now I know why I’ve sometimes fallen short when it comes to romance. I’ve settled for less than perfect examples of what romance looks like. hmmm …
I usually think of romance in terms of the relationship between a man and a woman. Very rarely do I think of romance in a spiritual sense and would not normally combine the ideas of romance and God - except maybe in thinking about the Song of Solomon. I know God created the marriage relationship between a man and a woman and I know to have a good marriage God has to be in the middle of it. But when it comes to romance, I just assumed He said, “Okay now, figure it out because I’m God and romance is a “humanity” thing”.
Today I was reading Epic by John Eldredge and he introduced a thought that made me stop reading and think. Here it is:
Creation unfolds like a great work of art, a masterpiece in the making. And just as you can learn about an author by the stories he tells, you can learn about a great deal about an artist from the works he creates. Surely you see that God is more creative than we can possibly imagine, and romantic to the core.
(pg 46)
Wow … look at creation and see the romance of God. God is "romantic to the core" and my example for how romance fits into life and is shown to Andrea. To be romantic I have to be creative like God is creative. What a concept. Now I know why I’ve sometimes fallen short when it comes to romance. I’ve settled for less than perfect examples of what romance looks like. hmmm …
Monday, February 07, 2005
Everybody Loves Raymond and good art ... in the same sentence.
Tonight Everybody Loves Raymond made me laugh – uncomfortably. The reason shows like Everybody Loves Raymond are so funny and unsettling at the same time is because I can relate. I see myself in the characters and sometimes I don’t like what I see – so I laugh. And sometimes it's just witty so I laugh.
Good art does to all of us what Everybody Loves Raymond does to me. It causes us to look within ourselves and the world that exists around us. Sometimes I like what I see; sometimes it is quite unsettling; and sometimes it even touches the soul.
Good art does to all of us what Everybody Loves Raymond does to me. It causes us to look within ourselves and the world that exists around us. Sometimes I like what I see; sometimes it is quite unsettling; and sometimes it even touches the soul.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Risk
I don’t mind taking risks … sometimes. Stepping through the tension of change makes me grow so I like the risk associated with change.
But do you know what’s hard? Watching the people around me, who are closest to me, who I love, take a risk. It’s not easy to watch.
This weekend our son Jakeb tried out for baseball. Which would not normally be a big deal, but he’s is about to be twelve years old and he’s never played organized baseball. Everything athletic comes naturally to Jakeb so I shouldn’t have been worried. I was more nervous than he was though. He ended up doing fine.
At the same time Jakeb was trying out for baseball our daughter Tori was at solo and ensemble playing an oboe piece accompanied on the piano by her mom. Because both she and Andrea were stepping out there and taking a risk I was nervous for them both. And they both did fine. Tori got a one (which is excellent).
Tonight our daughter Anna will sing in a talent show for her elementary school. Again I find myself nervous because she is stepping out into the tension of change and taking a risk. I know she’ll do fine too, but as a dad it’s easy to worry.
Way too many times as a parent I want to protect my kids from risk and change because risk comes with two outcomes – success and failure. To think of my kids failing at anything makes my stomach turn. But I know risk, whether there is success or opportunity for improvement, makes my kids better. So kids, step out there and give it a shot – your dad is behind you; supporting you; and trying like crazy not to worry about you; knowing that you will do just fine.
But do you know what’s hard? Watching the people around me, who are closest to me, who I love, take a risk. It’s not easy to watch.
This weekend our son Jakeb tried out for baseball. Which would not normally be a big deal, but he’s is about to be twelve years old and he’s never played organized baseball. Everything athletic comes naturally to Jakeb so I shouldn’t have been worried. I was more nervous than he was though. He ended up doing fine.
At the same time Jakeb was trying out for baseball our daughter Tori was at solo and ensemble playing an oboe piece accompanied on the piano by her mom. Because both she and Andrea were stepping out there and taking a risk I was nervous for them both. And they both did fine. Tori got a one (which is excellent).
Tonight our daughter Anna will sing in a talent show for her elementary school. Again I find myself nervous because she is stepping out into the tension of change and taking a risk. I know she’ll do fine too, but as a dad it’s easy to worry.
Way too many times as a parent I want to protect my kids from risk and change because risk comes with two outcomes – success and failure. To think of my kids failing at anything makes my stomach turn. But I know risk, whether there is success or opportunity for improvement, makes my kids better. So kids, step out there and give it a shot – your dad is behind you; supporting you; and trying like crazy not to worry about you; knowing that you will do just fine.
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