Running on "E"

I drove Tori to school when she was in 7th and 8th grade. It was good to hang out with my daughter and have random conversations. We fought over what we should listen to on the radio. I wanted to listen to NPR in the morning and I love The Engines of Our Ingenuity. She hated it and wanted to listen to the corny DJ’s on KSBJ – the local Christian Radio Station.

I think the thing that probably drove Tori crazy more than anything else is that I would let the fuel in my Explorer go all the way down to empty on the gas gauge before I put more gas in it.

I would say, “Tori I hope we make it to school today. If the truck dies be ready to get out and push it to the side of the road and then we can walk the rest of the way.”

“Dad!” she would scream, “Get some gas before you have to drive me to school. Why do you always let your truck get so close to empty?”

I think her fear had more to do with being seen by her friends on the side of the road with her dad who was not smart enough to add more gas when the gauge read “E”.

I don’t know why I let my truck get to the point of running on fumes before I would go to the gas pump. It was completely unnecessary. I had money to put more gas in. I guess it was inconvenient, but how much more inconvenient would it have been to be sitting on the side of the road with a truck that would not run due to a lack of fuel.

The gas gauge on my truck is not the only place I run on empty. Some mornings I wake up feeling drained, just because I wanted to stay up and watch one more play of Monday Night Football when it was obvious the Patriots were going to beat the Vikings – and who cares which of those teams win anyway.

I push myself and fill my day up with the unnecessary causing myself to have no room for error and being empty on extra time.

I let the spiritual slide, when I know it is the most important thing I can do and my soul is empty of what it needs to be filled with the most.

How long can I run on that red line close to “E”?