Kids and camps

Basketball has never been my game. In fact I stink at it. My son Jakeb though is pretty good. He already routinely beats me at "H-O-R-S-E". He has been at basketball camp this week and has had a great time. You can read more about it here --->link

My daughter Tori is musical and she has been at percussion camp this week. I am amazed that I have a daughter in High School. Watching her play yesterday made me realize how close to being grown up she really is. I am proud of the woman (man it stings to write that word) that she is becoming.

Because Tori was at band camp and Jakeb was at basketball camp, my mom took our six-year-old Anna for the week to Mimi camp. At Mimi camp Anna gets whatever she wants and does whatever she wants. She has boundaries of course but those boundaries are broader that the ones she has at home. She was going to be home on Thursday; then on Friday, but last night she informed us she was staying until Saturday and would be home in time for church Saturday night.

I've got good kids. They've got good grandparents. And I am blessed with the best wife and co-parent in the world. Life is good.

Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior's fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.

I don't want to be a haole

My time alone with God is fairly consistent. It is a habit. But consistency does not always mean it is earth shattering. In fact lately it has had a rhythm; kind of a routine – like brushing my teeth and taking a shower and getting dressed and going to work. It has been gray rather than being vibrantly colorful. My goal in meeting with God is to experience the transcendent. To exist in His presence.

I finished the book Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art by Madeleine L’Engle. It has been a great book and I’ve taken it slow, as one would eat a rich meal, one small bite at a time to make it last and savor the flavor. In it I found an insight into my time alone with God.

L’Engle writes of speaking at University of Hawaii:

In my commonplace book I’ve copied down the words of a Hawaiian Christian, Mother Alice Koholusuna:

"Before the missionaries came, my people used to sit outside their temples for a long time meditating and preparing themselves before entering. Then they would virtually creep to the altar to offer their petition and afterwards would again sit a long time outside, this time to “breathe life” into their prayers. The Christians, when they came, just got up, uttered a few sentences, said Amen, and were done. For that reason my people called the haoles, “without breath,” or those who failed to breathe life into their prayers."

I am afraid I have been a haole. I have been “without breath”.

It's interesting to me that both breath and spirit are used interchangeably in the Bible - as "ruah" in the Old Testament and as "pneuma" in the New Testament. To be “without breath” could be that I am not connecting with the spiritual.

This morning as I ran I paid close attention to my breath, how the act of breathing was to inhale and take in God and to exhale and eliminate the poison inside of me.

I don’t want to be a haole. I don’t want to be without breath.

the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
Genesis 2:7

Deconstruction

Brazos Pointe Fellowship is moving. From the beginning we have met at Lake Jackson Intermediate and that ended last Sunday. Right now we are a church on the move. But soon we will be a church that will settle down, at least as far as the location of our meetings on the weekend is concerned. Starting in July we will meet in a semi-permanent location but first we have to get the space ready.

Part of that has included destruction or deconstruction (whichever you prefer). Tearing stuff down has been hard work, fun, exhausting (in a good way), tedious, and productive. Walls have been torn down; flooring, ceiling and insulation removed. Wiring is being cut and lighting taken out. We’ve torn things apart so that we can build them back up.

That’s life. We tear down not just to be destructive but so that we can build up. As a church we constantly have to tear down our misconceptions about what it means to be the church so that we can build ourselves as a people who seek hard after the movement of God.

Personally I have to tear down what I know about life so I can build it back. What does it mean to follower of Jesus? Beyond some abstract idea, how does that look in my every day life?

Tearing stuff up can be fun, but it can be painful as well. Sometimes it is necessary.

We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

God is in the space

As I read Running the Spiritual Path yesterday I stared thinking:

The mind-set I’ve had made me think God could only be found in stuff. God is in the Bible. God is in me. God is in productivity and busyness. God is in the trees and the mountains. And He is in all of those places.

But lately I see that God can also be found in the spaces. In fact sometimes God is seen more clearly in the spaces.

When my mind is cluttered with the activity of the day God can barely be heard. But when I set aside everything my mind would otherwise ponder, I am engulfed by God in that space.

God is heard more clearly in the space of silence between footfalls when I run. I see God in the space between two trees when the sun comes up behind them.

I connect with God more deeply in space created by the rest of a Sabbath. More there than any activity of a busy day. I feel God in the space of a day of silence and solitude.

Pascal said we were all created with a God-shaped hole in our lives that can only be filled with Him. Even though I became a Christ-follower twenty years ago I still try to fill that hole with other things sometimes. But I am only right; I am only who Tommy was meant to be when I let God fill that hole – when I let God fill my space.

God is in the space.

Comfort and potential

Today is the first day of the thirty-ninth year of my life.

The older I become the more comfortable I am with who I am. As I get older I care less about what people think of me. I care less about the things the world tells me I should see as important. I realize that it is okay to slow down. I see God more clearly when there are fewer distractions. And I generally feel good about who God has made me to be.

The older I become the less satisfied I am with who I am. There is so much potential inside of me. But that potential is no good if I never let it out … like a disconnected battery with voltage that is waiting to be turned into current. I’ve got to live it.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Put a little soul in your living …

Influence

I’ve heard that I cannot change another person. People are who people are (profound huh?) and they will only change when they have an inclination do so. I can’t change a person but I can live a life of influence that in some way may cause a person to desire change.

I think about the concept of influence as it applies to my kids. I can exercise authority over them and they will submit. But when the authority is gone, so is the behavior it forced. From experience it is way more effective to influence my kids rather than force them to act a certain way and hope it forms a habit.

I can try to change Andrea but that is a waste of time. She can try to change me but that is an even larger amount of time wasted. There is this relational dance that must happen in marriage so that we can compliment one another rather than try to force change.

I think about influence and the role it plays in telling the gospel (the good news). For far to long the church has believed that it can force people into heaven with scare tactics or moral bullying; but the role of influence is even more important when pointing people toward God. Pointing people towards God requires conversation and influence. People move closer to God as they watch others live what they believe. They take the first step toward God and then He effects the change.

I think about the effect of influence on me. I am who I am because of experience and emotion and information. But I also am who I am because of the influence of people. I am influenced by my parents. I am influenced by my wife and my kids. I am influenced by those older than me who are farther along the path of life than I am. I am influenced by those who are my age and are traveling at the same pace. I am influenced by those younger than me who are coming up the path a little farther behind. I am influenced by people who are brilliant and complex and I am influenced by those who are simple. I am influence by those who lived long before me and those who live today because of what they have written down and published in book form or because of their art. I am influenced by people who live on the other side of the country as I listen to them teach and preach and report and sing on the internet and radio. I am influenced by bloggers who my only contact is through a computer screen. I have the finger prints of others all over me.

How about you? Show me your influence.

BTW – I’m listening to an iTune radio live stream and they are giving me the current weather for the Cayman Islands. Like that makes me feel good about sitting in my office.

Creativity - Part 3

This week Ronnie and I went to an experience for church leaders called Origins, hosted by Mosaic in Los Angeles. It was an incredible couple of days. I may post more about it later.

During one of the sessions Erwin McManus said, “Everyone is creative. Not everyone is artistic. Every human being has a mystic creative aspect of godliness to be pulled from their core.”

Most of the time when creativity is mentioned we think of the arts. Even though it includes the artist, the scope of creativity is far broader than just art.

Our Administrative Pastor Kirk is one of the most creative people I know. I would not call him an artist – his secular trade was that of an accountant. But Brazos Pointe Fellowship could not have church the way we do without the creative genius Kirk brings in all that he does.

Whoever you are and in whatever you do there is creativity inside of you that is a reflection of God. Ask God to bring that creativity to the surface.

"Creativity is the natural result of spirituality."
A Mosiac value.

Blog Free

This will be a blog free week - not that I've been all that consistent at posting lately anyway. I'll post some stuff next week.

Be real ...

Guitar

Do you want to learn to play the guitar? Or get better? … Link

Creativity - Part 2

I said I would follow up the creativity post from Monday with some stuff I have learned from others.

In the image of God—the Creator—we are made. First, a myth dispelled: there's no such thing as creative people and NON-creative people. It would be nice if it were that simple. No, we are all actively or inactively creative throughout every single day.
- C. McNair Wilson

Wilson says to be actively creative we should pursue these four traits:
- Taking Risks, proceeding without control over outcome. (didn't Jenny already say that?)
- Challenging Assumptions, ignoring all unwritten rules…
- Seeing Differently, trying everything in a new way, "Behold! All things have become new."
- Pursuing Curiosity, a great place to start: "What if …"

You can read the whole article here: Link

Dewitt Jones says “Creativity is the ability to look at what everyone else is looking at and see something different - the ability to look at the ordinary and see the extraordinary.”

To cultivate creativity Jones says:

- Make life your art
- Celebrate what is right with the world
- Don’t be afraid to make mistakes
- Pay attention
- Be a good listener
- Lighten up
- Learn to play

Again from Jones: “Use your intellect to train your technique and put yourself in the place of most potential to find the creative solution.”

I am encouraged to know that I can bring my creativity to the surface by cultivating what God has already placed inside of me.

Creativity

From Madeleine L’Engle’s book Walking on Water, Reflections on Faith and Art:

Finley Eversole, in The Politics of Creativity writes,

In our society, at the age of five, 90 percent of the population measures “high creativity”. By the age of seven, the figure has dropped to 10 percent. And the percentage of adults with high creativity is only two percent! Our creativity is destroyed not through the use of outside force, but through criticism, innuendo …

by the dirty devices of this world. So we are diminished, and we forget that we are more than we know. The child is aware of unlimited potential, and this munificence is one of the joys of creativity.

Those of us who struggle in our own ways, small or great, trickles or rivers, to create, are constantly having to unlearn what the world would teach us; it is not easy to keep a child’s high creativity in these late years of the twentieth century.

This is from a book I mentioned in yesterday's post and have added to my sidebar. It was written in 1980.

To become a better communicator I have to be increasingly creative. Much of what I have listened to and read lately has pointed to the fact that we are all creative, but creativity must be cultivated and unleashed and rediscovered.

Some say “I am just not a creative person". According to Finley Eversole (and Madeleine L’Engle) most of us are creative as children but our creativity has been pushed back.

If you see yourself as creative, or if people tell you that you are creative, or you know creative people; how does one nourish, develop and unleash that creativity; be it in art, music, the written word, speech, media, drama, dance or otherwise?

I may post later some of what I have learned, but first I’d like to learn from you.

Diaries and Short Family Vacations

Someone came to me as I stood outside after a worship service this morning and said, “You haven’t been writing much in your online diary.”

Online diary?!? A diary is a little book a fourth grade girl keeps under her bed with a cheap locking latch so that her little brother will not read about the boys she likes.

At least call it a journal. That sounds legitimate. And if there is anything I want to be in life it is legit. The problem is I write stuff in my journal far too personal and far too random to publish here.

It truth, it’s a web log and to be trendy we’ll just call it a “blog” for short. “Blog” is such a new word that Microsoft Word doesn’t have it in its spell check dictionary yet (unless of course I right-click and click “Add”).

There has been more than enough going on in my life to write about. Holding me back though is that life has been getting in the way of the discipline of writing.

Thursday and Friday the family went to New Braunfels and spent two full days on the banks of the Guadalupe River. We had the river to ourselves. It was fun to spend a couple of days playing with the kids. Tori, Jakeb, and I swam in the cold fast water of the river. Anna swam with us a bit closer to shore. Andrea got her legs wet - the water was too cold. Anna and I floated in a raft. We skipped rocks across the river together. We went to Gruene together. Jakeb and I took a morning run down River Road and later that day shot pool together in Gruene Hall (long before the band started playing and the craziness started). Andrea and I sat on the balcony in the morning and drank coffee together. We all ate at Schlotzsky’s – man I miss Schlotzsky’s.

On Friday afternoon the kids wanted me to go with them as they swam in the river one last time. I was beat but agreed to go. Instead of swimming I sat on a rock in the middle of the river with water swirling around me and read from a book I got week before last. It is written by Madeleine L’Engle and called Walking on Water, Reflections on Faith and Art. It is an incredible book on art and the creativity that rest inside of us all - creativity that is a reflection of our Creator.

Jakeb summed our short vacation up as he walked through the house on the river and said, “This is just what I needed.”

Thanks for letting me ramble on in my “diary”.

Hyper-green

Jakeb and I ran in the dark this morning. When we got home I went outside to feed the dogs and in the first light of morning noticed that the world has turned green while I wasn’t looking. When did this happen? The trees are in full color and the yard has lost the brown tint. There is this canopy over the backyard where I used to be able to see through the limbs of the pecan trees; now I just see folage. The world outside is in hypercolor.

It’s good to see that spring is really back – even though it took me a while to notice.

Just a penny is a treasure

I like listening to Andrew Peterson’s music. It is not a style of music most would pick for me. I told my friend Dano that when I listen to Andrew Peterson’s music I want to hand craft a guitar from a tree I cut down in the backyard of the cabin I own on the side of a mountain overlooking a clear stream in which I spend my evenings fly fishing; when I’m not playing my guitar, of course. The fact that I don’t play the guitar very well, don’t own a cabin anywhere and have only fly fished a couple of times doesn’t matter.

Sometimes I get in one of those funks where I feel as if I am worth nothing. You’ve been there too I know. We all have been there. If you say you haven’t … well, you’re lying (I don’t know how to be less blunt). I’ve been there some lately and I’m coming out of it – I always seem to. There is a song that has helped me see the other side, written by Andy Peterson.

Jesus tells how important we are to him in a story. It goes something like this (as recorded by the good doctor):

"Or imagine a woman who has ten coins and loses one. Won't she light a lamp and scour the house, looking in every nook and cranny until she finds it? And when she finds it you can be sure she'll call her friends and neighbors: 'Celebrate with me! I found my lost coin!' Count on it—that's the kind of party God's angels throw every time one lost soul turns to God."

Luke 15:8-10

Andrew Peterson puts that idea into a song called Loose Change – about a penny:

I'd give you all of me to know what you were thinking
And if I had one wish I'd wish I wasn't sinking here
Drowning in this well
Oh can't you tell

That I can't pick myself up off the ground
I've been face down
And pushed aside
Well, you know I'd rather just turn tail and run
Than lie here in the sun
And watch you pass me by
'Cause I ain't worth a dime

But if only I could stand up straight
I wouldn't have to lie and wait
I could up and roll away
And never be ignored
I've got a feeling that I'm something more
Than just a piece of copper ore
Turning green and looking for
The reason I was born

Well, I've been around since 1974
In banks and bottom drawers
On railroad ties
I've been passed around and cast aside
And skipped and flipped and flattened wide
Spun around and thrown away and left alone to lie

But I heard about a penny found
Lying underneath the couch
By a woman who was kneeling down
Looking for some change
Then the woman danced around
Called her friends all over town
Told 'em what was lost is found
It's another penny saved

So I find that all this time
Beneath the surface, I could shine
Like all the gold a king and queen could measure
See, even just a penny is a treasure

The man knows how to use words and turn phrases. And a spiritual truth (that “a penny like me, is a treasure”) makes more sense.

My running start

On a comment to a previous post Michelle asked how I got started running so I decided I would write it here.

During Andrea’s pregnancy with Tori she was gestational diabetic and her doctor put her on a 1000 calorie a day diet. I think gerbils eat more. It was torture for both of us (more Andrea than me). After Tori was born Andrea weighed less than before she got pregnant.

As a side note when Andrea was pregnant with Tori she craved Funyuns. Tori has always loved Funyuns, they are her favorite.

A little less than two years later Tori came up to me one evening while I was watching an Astros game. She threw herself in my lap and handed me a note (written for her by her mother) that said “Am I going to have a little brother or a little sister?” Andrea was pregnant again and we were excited. One of the coolest things though was the doctor told Andrea this pregnancy was normal and she could eat what she wanted. “Party!”

I was already heaver than I should be but if Andrea could eat for two I figured I could as well. So I started eating and gaining some serious pounds. Jakeb was born on March 18, 1993 and to celebrate I went to Zumgasthaus and ate one of their mongo steaks. I weighed more than I had ever weighed in my life and more than I have since.

In May, after Jakeb was born I decided that enough was enough and stepped out the door of our house in Richwood to run…and lose weight. I barely made it around the block and the shoes I ran in were Reebok tennis shoes. The next day my arches were screaming at me and I almost quit. My vanity wouldn’t let me though.

Like I do with everything I went to the book store and bought a book about running. It told me how to start. I went and bought a cheap pair of New Balance running shoes and marked out a three-mile course. I ran until I was close to being worn out and then I would walk until I recovered. I did that until I could run the whole three miles. I took what seemed like forever.

Then I put my headphones on and turned up King’s X “Faith, Hope, and Love” as loud as it would go and I got to where I was running about 20 miles a week. I lost weight. I trained for my first 5k, which I finished in 25:11, and I’ve never looked back.

I am a runner. I have been a very devoted runner. I’ve been a not so devoted runner. I’ve trained hard and I’ve trained not so hard. I’ve run far and I’ve run short. I’ve been much faster than I am now but I’ve been slower too. I’ve backslidden and not run at all for months. But I’ve never stopped being a runner.

Runner – It isn’t the sole word that defines me, but it is in the definition of who I am.

I started running to lose weight.

I run now because it is a discipline I cannot walk away from. It is epidemic.

I run because I can think.

I run for accomplishment.

I run because it’s something not many other people do. One of those “stand out from the crowd” kind of things. Which is smug, I know.

I run to listen to music.

I run to listen to nature.

I run because sometimes right before first light mexican bats swoop around my head. How else would I even know there were mexican bats in Lake Jackson in the summer time?

I run to listen to silence.

I run because I can.

…let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus.
Hebrews 12:1-2

Movie Date Day

Life has kept Andrea and me on different paths lately. Nothing has been wrong in our relationship; we just have not had much time to exist alone in one place together. Both of us know that we can’t go on like that very long, so we decided to have a movie date day on Monday. I picked up two movies on Sunday night and as soon as we got the kids off to school we sat down to watch the first one.

Spanglish was an okay movie. The best part of the movie was seeing that two people could put aside their selfishness and do what was right for those around them - A decidedly Christ-like theme in a movie that didn’t take a side. Adam Sandler did a good job of acting in a very un-Adam Sandler way. Tea Leoni was funny.

After running some errands, eating lunch at school with Jakeb and an afternoon nap Andrea and I put in Finding Neverland.

What an excellent movie. Johnny Depp is just too good. I have a friend named Jim from Scotland and Depp did such a good job with the accent I thought I was listening to my friend.

Finding Neverland is a film that reminded me of the importance of imagination without ignoring how harsh reality is sometimes. There were no simple answers to the complex issues the characters faced. It was a movie full of wonder and yet sometimes disturbing. Just like life.

Jakeb is blogging

There is a new blogger under the Stunz roof. Check out what my son Jakeb has to say here ...> Link

Blog Stats

Today I was checking my site statistics to see how many people have shown up at my blog and where they are coming from. You can see it for yourself by clicking the small multicolored box at the bottom of this page. It seems that on average there are fourty-one people who read my blog per day.

What I find interesting is how people find “Stunz blog”. Most people connect to my blog through the Brazos Pointe Fellowship web sight. But some people find my blog through search engines. Just today people came to my blog by making the following searches:

Google ………. “running is bad for you” (#22)
Yahoo ………... “marriage mentoring” (#18)
Yahoo ............. "Making Marbles" (#5)
Yahoo ……….. “is Lance Armstrong a good role model” (#7)
Lycos ………… “A Trip to the Dentist” (#24)
Yahoo ……….. “A 1000 things I want to do before I die” (#4)

Blogs still amaze me. And I am amazed at how people find mine.

Gator Gallop 5k

Jakeb, Andrea and I ran the Gator Gallop 5k on Saturday. There were quite a few BPF people running and watching the race. Mary Margaret, Jennifer, Edwin, Jason, Terry, Cy, et al. The danger of trying to name people is I will inevitably miss someone who was there. If that’s you I’m sorry.

Friday night I went to see Jakeb’s baseball game and there were Brazos Pointe Fellowship people wherever I looked. It is amazing to me the relational potential for pointing others toward Jesus that the people at Brazos Pointe Fellowship have as we live life in the Brazosport area. BPF exists everywhere, even when we’re not meeting.

Back to the race - Andrea and Jakeb have both been training for a 5k. Their goal race is not until next month but they both decided to run the Gator Gallop 5k at Brazosport College. Andrea hasn’t run the full distance since her foot surgery. Jakeb ran 3 miles for the first time last week.

Andrea is my hero. She was feeling sick a couple of days before the race and on Thursday when she and Jakeb were running she tripped and fell on the concrete. Even with the pain she gutted it up and ran/walked the 5k.

I ran it and felt pretty good. I maintained a comfortable pace and finished in twenty-four minutes and twenty-something seconds. I didn’t stop my watch so I am not sure of an exact time.

I was going to grab a drink and go back and help Jakeb run the rest of the way in. I took a drink and looked up and there was Jakeb striding to the finish only about a minute behind me. I was suddenly struck by the realization that I will soon be beat soundly by my son.

When it was all said and done Jakeb won second place in the 12 and under category. I finished 3rd in the 30 – 39 age group. Jakeb second, dad third. The beginning of a pattern I'm sure.

It was a good day! The whole family have to do it again soon.

Pope John Paul II

There has been so much coverage on the death of Pope John Paul II that I hesitate to write because I probably will not say anything most of you have not heard already.

As I listen to all of the stories of his life what strikes me is how much the Pope enjoyed the same aspects of life everyday people enjoy. He skied, played soccer and kept up with culture as we all like to do. I am also stuck by how brilliant the Pope was. Knowing numerous languages, understanding theology, and relating to both heads-of-state and working folks. I am struck by a man who stood by what he believed to be true even though the world pushed so hard against those beliefs (some of which I disagree). Above all I am struck by a life that was lived in such devotion to God.

I want to be a well rounded person. I want to be a person that enjoys all life has to give. I want to learn as much as I can learn. I want to live what I believe. I want to be as devoted to God as I possibly can be. I want to live well.

“He’s taught us how to live, he’s taught us how to suffer, and now he’s teaching us how to die.”
– Jim Mulligan, a Missouri deacon studying in Rome (From April 11, 2005 U.S. News and World Report)